Voice mail....

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Most of us have now learned to live with
voice mail as a necessary part of our
lives. Have you ever wondered what it
would be like if God decided
to install voice mail? Imagine praying
and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1

For Spanish press 2

For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following
options:

Press 1 for request

Press 2 for thanksgiving

Press 3 for complaints

Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are
busy helping other sinners right now.
However, your prayer is important to us
and we will answer it in the order it was
received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1

Jesus, press 2

Holy spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has been
assigned to heaven press 5, then
enter his social security # followed by
the pound sign.

(If you receive a negative response,
please hang up and dial area code 666)

For reservations to heaven, please enter
JOHN followed by the numbers 3,16.

For answers to nagging questions about
dinosaurs, life, and other planets
please wait until you arrive in heaven
for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already
been prayed for today, please hang up and
call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend
to observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need
emergency assistance, please contact your
local pastor.

Thank you and have a heavenly day.