Max Pun! you know... like maxpayne. but funnier.

13

Scotland is a great place for fishing - people travel from all over Britain
to take part in the angling competitions held in Fifeshire. To keep the
visiting fishermen entertained in the evenings, one of the hotels decided
to stage a fish eating competition as well.

A dozen competitors sat at a long table with a supply of grilled fish fresh
from the nearby river and their choice of tipple to help wash it down.
The winner would be the one who could eat the greatest number of whole
fish in 15 minutes.

There were two favourites in the race who had done well in the previous
year's competition. Local man John Hicks was well-known for his appetite,
and Steven Coleridge from London was also strongly fancied although he
didn't have access to the same sort of training facilities during the
year.

At first, Hicks surged ahead and had devoured three fish in the first
five minutes. But Coleridge was close behind him and finished his third
fish after seven minutes. The rest of the field were rank amateurs by
comparison and most were only there for the free drinks.

Hicks continued to lead for most of the alloted time, until suddenly
there was a loud crunching sound and he cried out in pain. He had
bitten a hard piece of bone and dislodged a molar; after consuming
eight fish he couldn't continue. Coleridge was unfazed and kept
chewing at his relentless pace. By the end of the fifteen minutes,
Coleridge had edged past his rival to win the competition.

The headline in the paper next day read:
"One tooth free for Fife's Hicks, Steven ate nine tench"