Joke thread

[Mischief]

Pharmacist.

A lady went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist for some cyanide.?The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady thenexplained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes gotbig and he said, "Lord, have mercy-I can't give you cyanide to kill yourhusband! That's against the law!? I'll lose my license, they'll throw bothof us in jail and all kinds of bad things? will happen! Absolutely not, youcan NOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out apicture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacistlooked at the picture and replied, "Well now, You didn't tell me you had aprescription.


Elderly, bu not stupid.

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry
store one Friday eve with a beautiful young gal at
his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a
special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought
out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "I don't think
you understand, I want something VERY special."

With that statement, the jeweler went to his
special stock and brought another ring out. "Here's
a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body
trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this
said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and
the old man stated "By check. I know you need to
make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and
you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and
I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon", he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the
old man. "There's no money in that account!"
"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"