just venting a bit.... skip over

[ohiochica]

just need to vent , no purpose in this post and i will probably delete it shortly afterr writing it, but i gotta vent or i am going to burst.

first off i miss my mom soooooo bad, this holiday season absolutely sucks without her. people you have no idea how lucky you are to have your mom still alive. i would do anything to have my mom with me.

secondly i need a fulltime job! not working just freaking sucks! i have a small part time job but it just pays my car payment and insurance. i need to move outt athis hell hole town but to do that i need money and decent credit......geee wouldnt a job help with all that.

thirdly my stepdad whom i live with is being an ass!!!!!! keeps hinting thta i need to move out and he tells me it also. hello, dont ya think i want out of this ****ing house! cant ya tell i am rarely here becasue i ****ing hate it here! but due to no job i am kinda stuck. i dont think he realizes what he is doing to me, but once i do move out there is no looking back. he can forget he had a daughter.

all i want is for things to get a bit better......please just let my life get a bit easier.

sorry for being such a downer, i am not normally like this, i just need a break and i will be fine again. i keep thinking of teh phrase....only the strong survive, thank god i am strong.

[pdiggitydogg]

cant say i know exactly how you feel but i know what its like not to have someone there during the holidays...

I could use a full time job myself...Im really sick of doing 2 part time-ers just to make the amount of money.

we all need to vent...dont worry about it. Thats what your hst pals are for

[thermal]

I can only imagine what you're going through. I got so used of being on my own ever since I joined the Navy. My father is in Las Vegas and havent talked to him in years..... My mom is alive but she is overseas.

The Holidays make it worse for many of us. Just hang in there. Life will get better........

[Shaved &/or Laid]

personally i hate christmas. and even birthdays and im only 17. feel free to vent. hell, i encourage it. I know what its like to not have a mom. Mines alive, but shes an alcholic and i dont see her. Difference is, im an asshole cause i dont want to see her, cause that means i have to see her daughter who she doesnt feed so she can spend all her money of getting plastered enough to beat her other son.

Holidays are sooo lonely. This year is even worse because i have to wait a while before i can really spend time with
samantha. maybe i can go see her.

yeah, life sucks, but **** it. im too strong and too confident to let anything get me down. So yeah, feel free to IM be and ***** all you want.

[ohiochica]

thanks guys, i am feeling a tad better. guess sex will do that to ya. lol

i guess i need to see this in writing to realize how i dont have it so bad. i am missing my mom mor enow than any other year. oh geeze dont talk about birthdays, since my mom passed i havent had a birthday cake nor present. lovely relatives and friends i have who totally forget.

thansk guys for the support. i truly appreciate it.

[pdiggitydogg]

sex, huh?
must be nice......

[ohiochica]

lol yeah, went over to the bf's house and he met me at the door.
he paid his daughter to take the youngest to the movies.......... lol

I'm deployed right now and I missed Thanksgiving, gonna miss Christmas, and New Years. Working everyday. It does suck during the holiday season sometimes. But best thing to do is keep busy and stay happy. Try to forget bad moments if you can.
GO TO YOUR BF HOUSE MORE OFTEN

[GT40FIED]

Originally posted by ohiochica
just need to vent , no purpose in this post and i will probably delete it shortly afterr writing it, but i gotta vent or i am going to burst.

first off i miss my mom soooooo bad, this holiday season absolutely sucks without her. people you have no idea how lucky you are to have your mom still alive. i would do anything to have my mom with me.

First off, I can't say I totally identify with the whole of your post...I don't live at home, I live with a roommate at college. But I can totally understand where you're coming from with your mom. My dad died in May of '01 and I've noticed shits gets really bad during the holiday seasons. First ya got Thanksgiving and then a month later you've got X-mas. The first one after they're gone is the worst and they don't get much easier. But you'll live and most things that don't kill you only make you stronger (this, of course, excludes heart attacks, strokes, and Michael Bolton). You'll be alright.

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Becky...I know that it is hard, but just try to remind yourself of what your mom would want for you. I know that you're a strong woman and I know you'll make it through this. Just keep your head up and don't let your step-dad get to you. You can't help it that he's an ass....some people are just that way. Just ignore him and if he asks for your help for anything, just tell him your busy and avoid him. I do this often with mine.

[ohiochica]

oh shit got better since the last rant. he comes to me and asks.....do you know what i did with the xmas tree i bought a few years ago? i am like in the basement would be my guess ....he says its not there. i then ask which tree. he says the pencil tree. i saw stars. my mom scrimped and saved alllllllllll year to buy that damn tree and he is going to take credit for it! bullshit but i kept quiet. then he syas he wanted to give it to marcy to use. wtf he is going to give my moms most prized possesion to his damn gf! oh hell i dont think so! so monday when he goes to work i am going up in the attic where i think it is and taking it to my friends house. he is going to keep it for me. that totally pissed me off!

fyi..... i was out on my own before my mom got sick, when she got sick i moved back home to help out with her and alllllll the medical bills. he has no ****ing idea what i did for this family. and now he is going to treat me like this? ummmmmmm wake up old man you are going to die a bitter lonely death. he has no kids and no younger relatives. life is gonna suck for him!

:::::::::::sigh:::::::::::

ok off my rant, thansk guys for all the support. gt your are so right it doesnt get any easier! i thought since this will be my 3 seasn without her that it would be ok and not so sad, reality check for me this has gotta be the very worst one yet. next year i guarantee i go on a cruise or i am in florida for christmas. only one month left and it will be alllllllllllllllll over and i can get back to my life. wonder if i click my heels together and say theres no place like home 3 times if it will bring be to oz. (dorthy in the wizard of oz)

what goes around comes around.

thanks guys

[thermal]

Hang in there. It will be alright. AIM me if you want to talk.....

[ohiochica]

thanks, i am ok just pissy. he will get his in the end!

well......although that was nothing what i was thinking when i clicked into the post......

i undestand. trust me, i have two friends, one lost his father to cancer when he was 8, the other his mother was murdered by her ex husband when he was 12.

trust me, i can feel their sadness around certain times of the year.

also with the whole job thing....i am very frustrated with finding one also. they need to go back to old fashioned interviews....

last....ur right the strong survive, and uve lasted this long hang in there.....wounds heal over time. And, dont forget to keep your head up and go for a job every chance u can. once you get that the rest is easy.

[GT40FIED]

My solution for your stepdad is the same I give everyone...you gotta kick him in the throat. No...seriously...do it....right now. I'll wait.

[sohc_vtec 2NR]

Originally posted by GT40FIED
My solution for your stepdad is the same I give everyone...you gotta kick him in the throat. No...seriously...do it....right now. I'll wait.

isn't that a bit too harsh?

[ohiochica]

lol.........at this point when ever he is around i hide in my room or i leave teh house. lovely..........wonder what my mom thinks about the way he is acting. bet he has lovely dreams.

[mylittlecivic]

I have been avoiding my parents. They like to take out their problems on me so I've been getting yelled at alot I hate being treated like a 15 year old. And whenever I say im going to leave town they do anything they can to stop me and even though im trying they still get mad and yell at me about getting a job everyday