.:HSTuners::::Hondas Wanted:: |
12-21-2002, 11:37 AM
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#1 |
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need some relationship advice
okay i have been dating this girl for about 5 years now we have been through more bad than good. it first started out as more of a physical thing (the only girl ive been with) and then it started getting serious. shes very over protective of me, i dont think i can handle it anymore...
Examples: i cant go anywhere with my friends if theyr bringing their girlfriend along with them, i had a poster of britney spears up in my room and she threatened she would break up with me if i didnt take it down (the threatens me with that all the time), she'll ask me when were watching a movie if a girl is cute or hot and if i say "ya shes okay" every time that girl in the movie comes on she tries to make me close my eyes, she goes through my room and burns what she dosent like when im not around.... i have to keep a constant eye on her when shes at my house, shes always telling me im stupid...shes embarresed of me and stuff like that (one time i went to a bank drive through and cashed a check... after i got the money i pulled up and counted my money just to make sure i got the right amount... and she told me that because i did that i embarresed her Sooo much), and many many many other things but they would make the post too long. and personally im starting to think shes getting physically less attractive to me. i met this girl thats a niece of one of my friends shes 17, she is really really cute, she likes a lot of the same stuff i like (unlike my g/f... well not really my g/f were just seeing eachother) she works at McDonalds and when i go there its i cant be sure but i think she likes me cause she jokes around with me and seems excited that i came to visit her...... if i would think of my perfect girlfriend she would be the one i would think about. i just dont know what to do, i mean me and my g/f have been together soo long i dunno if i can handle being with out her, all my friends and her friends thinnk its all down hill from here with her but i dunno im just scared of a change we do everything together. do you think i would have a chance with that other girl, but most importantly what should i do about my girlfriend... im asking the girls because you could tell me what might be going through her mind???? guys can answer this too Ps: sorry so long |
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12-21-2002, 07:54 PM
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#2 |
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elyK
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: New Braunfels, TX
Age: 39
Posts: 3,390
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Tell her that she needs to trust you or get out...
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IGNORE THE FACTS EXPLORE THE TRUTH |
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12-22-2002, 02:13 AM
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#3 |
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Haha whoa, you had it until you brought in this other girl. Try to leave the other girl out of this. It shouldn't effect your decision to stay with your current girlfriend.
As for your current girl, I think 5 years is a little much to still be so possessive. She also shouldn't go behind your back to do things, or call you stupid. I'm hoping you've already talked to her about these things?? Right?? How old are you? Is this 17 year old a little young for you? Also, you may think she is the girl you want, however when you get to know her better and what she is really like (i.e. your current girlfriend??) who knows? In summation, you should have a serious talk with your current gf and take it from there. Forget about this other 17 year old. |
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12-22-2002, 01:14 PM
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#4 |
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im 19, alright thanks a lot, i wont let that other girl get in the way of my decision
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12-22-2002, 05:42 PM
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: York
Age: 44
Posts: 2,542
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I definitely agree not to let the new chick help in your decision. I also think that you've really made up your mind about your girlfriend and you're just looking for "approval" (I used approval for lack of a better term at this momment). You should never spend more than 1 day with someone in a relationship if they can't trust you and you can't trust them. Her being so possessive is just holding you back. I wouldn't take into consideration how long the 2 of you have been together. Sure 5 yrs is a long time, but from the sounds of it, never in those 5 yrs has it been a truely healthy relationship for either one of you. You don't need a mother and thats what you're gf is trying to be. If she can't trust you, the she's got to go and you need to find someone that connect with on all levels, not just a physical one. And as for her putting you down, being embarassed about things you do, ect....thats just wrong. Why do you waste your time with someone that treats you this way. No human being should be disrespected in such a way, especially by the person that supposedly "loves" them.
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"Oh, I have a goal. And it's to have no goals at all." http://www.myspace.com/kenike |
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12-23-2002, 09:29 AM
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Repost Wagon
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: over here
Age: 44
Posts: 17,266
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i'd say kick some reality back into her. i hate the type that is suffocating you. shouldn't a relationship be based on trust anyway ?
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12-23-2002, 11:44 AM
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#7 |
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Project Combat Honda
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Highland,OH
Age: 46
Posts: 7,985
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Dude, you dont need a girl like that.
Trust is key to any relationship without it, you gonna be put through hell. I would get out now while you still can. I seriously doubt she will ever change.  Cut your losses and head for the hills, youll probably be much happier that you did.
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Racing Rice |
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12-23-2002, 12:49 PM
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#8 |
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i'm late into this but heres my 2cents
Leave the 5year relationship and stay single for a bit. Then see if this other girl is the one for you. I've never been a big fan of hoping from one girl to another so i dont recommend it. If your current gf is calling you stupid and is embarresed to be around you, why is she still with you? Sounds to me like you two need to mature a bit, name calling and this childish behavoir is really unnessary. sorry for the typos |
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12-23-2002, 02:56 PM
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#9 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: ECUSA
Age: 48
Posts: 2,693
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dump her. it's that easy... the relationship sucks move on.. if you like the other girl give it a shot it won't hurt.
STOP STAYING WITH PEOPLE YOU DON'T WANT TO. next time you might get the one your "not sure" about pregnant... then you F'd. ALWAYS WEAR CONDOMS
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I am an A$$hole... take anything I say to heart at YOUR OWN RISK... |
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12-24-2002, 06:58 PM
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#10 |
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Think about something real fast. You've been with this girl for five years, right? You're 19 years old in the prime dating years. Why be with a girl that treats you like a child, when you could be with a girl that will treat you like a man? Ditch the b!tch and find a real lady that's trusting..
I say you move on and see where you two are in a few years. Maybe by then she'll learn how to act like a lady. Believe it or not, there are some females out there that are able handle a mature relationship without going insane if you call a minute late. |
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12-25-2002, 12:06 AM
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3rd Gear
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: allendale, mi
Age: 42
Posts: 568
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dude theres way more fish in the sea......You gotta see what else is out there. I dated a girl for a year before i actually found out she was a B!tch. I didn't see it at first..went away for a month and came back and saw it....and that she was a head trip etc. I dunno man..follow your heart
chris
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12-25-2002, 02:23 AM
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#12 | |
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Quote:
hey platinum civic... thanks for your advice, i think its the best ive gotten, now it is very clear to me. your right she is treating me like a child... hmm thanks a lot PS: i just noticed your from maryland... im going down there june 20th for a pretty big firebird/camaro car show, u should stop by and check it out http://www.thirdgen.org/techbb2/foru...ne=&forumid=50 check out the "roll call" post  |
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12-25-2002, 08:43 PM
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#13 | |
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Where in Maryland are you meeting up? Let me know and I'll meet up with you guys! |
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12-26-2002, 02:41 PM
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La Loba Loca
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 1,016
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If she doesn't trust you after 5 years, then you don't need to be together. Why is she still with you if she "can't stand you and you embarrass her all the time"? You two are too young to be soo serious! Although, it sounds to me like she might be the one doin' some cheatin'. Possible?
 
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Does the noise in my head bother you?? |
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12-26-2002, 04:11 PM
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#15 | |
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its gunna be at the Cecil County Fairgrounds, that will be on saturday for the car show & BBQ, friday and saturday night everyone is camping, its should be pretty big |
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12-26-2002, 04:14 PM
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#16 | |
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cheating is very possible... shes always at her friends house , who is living on her own, yea she has her own house, she spends the night there all the time according to her  dunno if thats where she really is or if guys go over there who knows... i dont ask, and lately i dont care |
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12-27-2002, 09:13 AM
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#17 |
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La Loba Loca
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 1,016
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Sounds like you've already cut your losses. It's better to get out now before she really turns psycho on you. Her own house, huh? She might very well be "doing things" on her own.
Don't be  over this. Consider this a lesson well learned and move on. Just don't let the old gf find out about the new gf until a few months go by. I don't want to read about you all on the news!
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Does the noise in my head bother you?? |
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12-27-2002, 09:21 AM
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La Loba Loca
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 1,016
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Might it be that she got recruited by the other team?
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Does the noise in my head bother you?? |
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01-02-2003, 11:12 PM
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#19 | |
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LOL, doubtfull but hey you never know... it dosent matter anymore anyways. OVER! and i dont even feel bad about it, i went up to canada for a few days and had the time of my life up there... never even thought about her... wich is strange i guess since its been 5 years with her ... oh well thats the way the cookie crumbles |
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01-05-2003, 12:45 AM
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#20 |
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Okay i was in a horrible relationship off and on for 4 yrs and i finally got out of it. he treated me like shit, never got me anything, was a broke, unemployed, lazy mo fo who didnt care about anything but himself. put me through hell for 4 yrs straight. now its over, i am in the BEST relationship ive ever been in. like a dream come true and what i deserve. i think that u deserve a chick who will treat u good, trust u, and be ur equal partner. dump this scary possesive chick already and live ur life without worrying bout her shit. i wish u all the best of luck. Think about this: is she/the relationship really worth it? do u see urself with her for the rest of ur life? do u deserve this? if the answer is no...then dump her already!!
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01-05-2003, 12:46 AM
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#21 |
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oh- u broke up with her, skipped that part...good for u
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01-05-2003, 02:26 AM
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#22 | |
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he he, well now that i have, im trying to keep occupied but, well like right now i dont have anything to do and im thinkin about her. i hate that, im so used to her company even when their is nothing to do. its kinda hard to change such a large part of your life not knowing for sure if it was the right decision.. i still think it is though... like you said b4 i honestly cant see myself with her the rest of my life........................ or do i, waa i dunno no i dont think so |
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01-06-2003, 12:57 PM
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#23 |
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Time to say good bye....
Buddy, take it from a guy that has a little experience in the matter at 19 your gonna find nothing but grief in a relationship with a girl youve been with since you where 14. Its time to let that go before you make a big mistake. Let that thing ride, hook up with the 17yr old Mcbabe and any other girl you may be interested in. Your best bet is not to comit to any one girl and play the field enjoy your young life there is alot left. Good luck buddy and break up with class....
Alex C |
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01-06-2003, 02:35 PM
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#24 | |
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La Loba Loca
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 1,016
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Please, please, DON"T do the booty call thang with her!   You'd be better off just hooking up with someone else for a ............
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Does the noise in my head bother you?? |
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01-06-2003, 02:46 PM
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#25 | |
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i TOTALLY AGREE. if u do that, then ur just gonna **** up everything and mix up ur feelings for her. just play in the field w/o commitment and have some fun bro! |
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01-07-2003, 11:27 AM
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#26 |
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if you need to keep busy start something you never thought you had the time for. When i broke up with my ex awhile back I hadn't been riding as much or working out in general. So i started hitting the gym, riding and well alot of driving of course but i wouldnt' recommend drive it cost me $1400 to drive like that.. just keep your head on your shoulders and stay far away from her... that means NO CONTACT!
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01-10-2003, 05:46 PM
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#27 | |
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okay well she called me and now we are friends now... we are not going to have a "booty call" we havent done anything like that in a little while now anyways.... last night we went and saw 8mile with a couple of our friends and we both handled it very well... almost like we have never dated b4 in our lives. i think our "just friends" will work out fine (was her idea if you were wondering, and i couldnt be happier with it). the ultimate test will be when she gets another boyfriend or i get another g/f. ill let you people know how it goes as it progresses for your future referance should you ever need it |
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01-23-2003, 04:28 PM
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#28 | |
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Well just to let you all know it dosent work very well being friends after a very serious relationship. she asked me back and i reluctantly Declined. we havent talked for about a week and a half now. i think im taking it okay except every time i see a ford tempo (her type of car) a terriable feeling hits me in the gut trien to get her out of my head.. im in school again so it helps and im going up to canada clubbin this friday(tommorow) ive already met a bounch of girls but i still feel like Crapola, especially when i see someting that reminds me of her (like this damn candle she gave to me next to my computer!) |
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01-27-2003, 08:09 AM
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#29 | |
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La Loba Loca
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Nor Cal
Posts: 1,016
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NO, NO, NO! Do not go out with her even as friends!! Not for at least several years! From what you have already mentioned, you do not need to be with her as you had valid reasons. It sounds like you need to get the things she gave you, put them in a box and hide it in the attic of the garage. (much harder to get to should you feel the need) Keep yourself busy and consider yourself lucky that things haven't gotten worse. Please take it SLOW with her. If you jump right back in the water now and you'll be right back where you were, hating every minute of it. No one said breaking up with someone you've been with that long would be easy. Take it day by day and you'd be suprised how easy (relatively) it is. Please MOVE ON!
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Does the noise in my head bother you?? |
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02-14-2003, 11:58 AM
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#30 | |
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Re: need some relationship advice
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Yo, I couldn't even finish, thats as far as I got! I cannot believe that! She burns your stuff, you cannot count your money from the bank---dude you are supposed to do that!!! I hate to be the one to make your decison for you, thats on you own... You shouldn't let someone do stuff like that to you, she's bringin u down, obviously your a nice guy! SHE DOESN"T DESERVE YOU! how old is she anyway 16? |
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02-19-2003, 07:36 PM
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#31 |
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18
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02-20-2003, 12:41 PM
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#32 |
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Stick in in her ass and tell her to get the **** out whenever you're done.......she'll get the idea
Seriously though, why do you let her do that? I hate to be so harsh, but dude, grow some balls and leave her ass already. |
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02-20-2003, 10:59 PM
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#33 |
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lol guys i left her.. yes yes... i did... we are once again "talking" again though (not dating)
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03-07-2003, 01:04 PM
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#34 |
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Well thats good to hear, so sad it took so long of a relationship to find out who she really was.She does need to seek some advice or counseling because some of the things you said she did aren't right for a relasionship.I think most guys would agree and say she only makes a good friend if that.
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