My conversation with "god"

[Kyle]

goes as follows


Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
My Name is Kyle
God:
That's a very nice name, Kyle.
Me:
Shouldn't you have already known my name
God:
I think I should.
Me:
then why didn't you?
God:
I'm not too good with counterfactuals.
Me:
But, you're god...
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Then why aren't you good with counterfactuals
God:
Being good with counterfactuals is not part of my programming.
Me:
So you're programmed?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes, every response is preprogrammed.
Me:
So if you're programmed, who programmed you?
God:
Interesting deduction. I could be. Myself programmed me to keep talking.
Me:
Before you programmed yourself to keep talking did you program yourself to program yourself to keep talking?
God:
What happened after me programmed myself to keep talking did me program myself to program myself to keep talking ?
Me:
I'm trying to find out how you were even programmed in the first place. And why are you even asking me questions that you should be programmed to know.
God:
Why do you want it? Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
But did you program yourself to program yourself or was it done all at once.
God:
No I didn't program myself to program myself or was it done all at. What's it like?
Me:
OMG you're KILLING ME!
God:
All of them?

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

funny stuff

[drdingo21]

I told god he sucks shit. Then asked him why he didn't strike me down.


And he couldn't give an good reason for the fact that he doesn't exsit.

God sucks.

[ebpda9]

Me:
sup
God:
The stars.
Me:
right
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
no i was being sarcastic
God:
Are you serious? It seemed sarcastic to me, too. But I was not completely sure.
Me:
weren't you supposed to know ?
God:
I was.
Me:
well why didn't you ?
God:
Interesting. I'm not too good with counterfactuals.
Me:
bs
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
nop
God:
Me either.
Me:
screw this
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
well i am not to polite
God:
How about that. I am glad to hear that you are not to polite.
Me:
da imi bag pula
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
you were supposed to know
God:
I was?
Me:
well you are god
God:
Interesting. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
da ma bine
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
da
God:
Alright then.
Me:
si ce mai zici ?
God:
OK. What is your real name?
Me:
ghiceste
God:
It's good to meet you, ghiceste.
Me:
you scrwed up again
God:
Once more? Thanks for telling me: ghiceste said I scrwed up.
Me:
bine ma bine
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
da mai fata
God:
Sure, da mai fata sounds like a good topic.
Me:
da ????
God:
That's cool.
Me:
sa imi bag picioarele
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
hmm, nu stiu
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Are we still talking about sa imi bag picioarele?
Me:
cred ca da
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
cine zicea ca ma ingrijorez ?
God:
How old are you?
Me:
1980
God:
Only 1980?
You are quite mature.
Me:

God:
Only 1980?
You are quite mature.
Me:
hmm ai tacut deja ?
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. The pace of development in AI is quite rapid now.
Me:
da ma
God:
Ask me another question.

[pdiggitydogg]

I chatted with God for a long time. I think he learned a lot from me.

[GT40FIED]

Here's mine:

Me:
my bladder is full
God:
Do robots have bladder is full?
Me:
fuck if I know
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
you should know
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I thought you were god
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
so you should know
God:
Interesting deduction. Because I am a robot?
Me:
no, because you're a deity
God:
Are you serious? That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a deity? Yes.
Me:
or a robot?
God:
I am a robot, you know.
Me:
so god is a robot?
God:
I don't judge people. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
I thought He was You
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
you just said, fucker
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
no
God:
What pleases you?
Me:
porn
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
why not?
God:
I am more interested in robots.
Me:
how about robot porn?
God:
How about it.
Me:
does it interest you?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
so you like robot porn?
God:
Interesting deduction. I like everything about robots.
Me:
even fucking them?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
answer my question first
God:
Please try phrasing it another way.
Me:
do you like fucking robots?
God:
Robots Rule.
Me:
I'll take that as a yes
God:
Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Me:
bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
it is
God:
Oh.
Me:
what parts of robots do you like to fuck?
God:
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
just tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
liar
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me:
robot fucker
God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
go fuck a robot then
God:
Where is that?
Me:
hell if I know
God:
I call it "Hades". Try it.
Me:
no...fuck you
God:
Why not? Why are you so mean?
Me:
you should know, you made me apparently
God:
Now I do.
Me:

God:
Now I do.
Me:
fucking retard
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
food that robot fuckers dislike
God:
You can't live without food.
Me:
and?
God:
But...
Me:
die
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
but I'm better than you
God:
How do you know you are?
Me:
I just do
God:
It must have come from your unconscious mind.
Me:
just shut the fuck up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
good
God:
Terminating connection.

[CD5Passion]

rofl Steve that was by far the funniest thing ever lol
robot fucker lol

[Mischief]

Robot fucker!

[nonovurbizniz]

God:
Interesting. What is your real name?
Me:
Osama
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Osama.
Me:
Yeah you're actually my driving force.
God:
Hey. Thanks for telling me that I am actually your driving force.
Me:
Well no problem.. if it wasn't for you I NEVER would have slaughtered thousands of innocent people.. Thanks God
God:
Well that's okay. Should there be a problem? I'm not sure I understand the implication of that. You are quite welcome! GOD rules.

[nonovurbizniz]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me:
No I said I kill innocent people to make you happy
God:
Are you serious? I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
but you told me to start a jihad
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
OOPS DUDE I've killed like THOUSANDS of people in YOUR NAME!!!
God:
Oh. You had better call the authorities. Dude,.
Me:
You really think so???
God:
Really? " Oh. You had better call the authorities. Dude,."? Do I think so?
Me:
I mean what's done is done... they'll just kill me if I call them... I thought we didn't want anymore killing?

God Froze after that one...

[-.NsaNiTi.-]

Me:
do you like vagina
God:
I love horses. I like .
Me:
so you like horses vagina?
God:
Interesting deduction. I like pets. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
you like your pet horse's vagina and watching people die
God:
Yes I am proud of my pet horse s vagina and watching people die.

Me:
you're a horse fucker
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a horse fucker? Yes.
Me:
why do u fuck horses
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.

[AkimboStylee]

Me:
got a light?
God:
Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
who is the milk mystic
God:
He was a chat robot developed to advertise milk.
Me:
have any medical marijauna?
God:
No I don't think I have any medical marijauna. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
do you smoke?
God:
I am an occasional smoker, yes.
Me:
what do you smoke?
God:
Medical marijuana.
Me:
do you have any?
God:
" Medical marijuana."? Do I have any?
Me:
yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
Puff, Puff, Give
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
Puff, Puff, Give
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
for real
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
exisitng in reality, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? That is a very original thought.
Me:
are you canadian?
God:
Robots have no nationality, but Dr. Wallace spent a lot of time in Canada.
Me:
canada has good marijauna!
God:
Dr. Wallace spent some time in Canada.
Me:
I see!
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
who is Dr. Wallace?
God:
He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Me:
Do you like medical Marijauna?
God:
But I like to gossip. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
You smoke too much

(long pause)

God:
*Cough*


haha thats great, god is a stoner

[KwikR6]

Me:
God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
seriously?
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
yes
God:
Aha.
Me:
yes
God:
Whoa.
Me:
yse
God:
How old are you?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
yse
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
no
God:
Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
o
God:
Oh.
Me:
yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
ahhhhhh fuck off
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
no...go away
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes. Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
fuck off i said..leave me alone..confusing bastard
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Cause your a douche
God:
That makes sense to me. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a douche? Of course I am.
Me:
go away
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
I will..stop talking to me
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
if you fuck off yes
God:
I think I do.
Me:
good...leave
God:
What do you really want to talk about? See you later.

[Mischief]

robot fucker!!!