.:HSTuners::

ebpda9 · 11-07-2004, 06:30 PM

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

JDMFantasy2k · 11-07-2004, 06:34 PM

OWNED

11-07-2004, 07:00 PM

Yeah read this before...it's still hillarious though

Violent Apathy · 11-08-2004, 01:55 AM

HAHA!

IALuder · 11-08-2004, 08:02 AM

AWESOME ha

Wren57 · 11-08-2004, 12:49 PM

WOW that was awesome. Wren shall remember that one.

94_AcCoRd_EX · 11-08-2004, 02:41 PM

Ahaha that's the first time I've heard that one

CD5Passion · 11-08-2004, 04:02 PM

that was awesome

11-07-2004, 06:30 PM	#1
ebpda9 Repost Wagon Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: over here Age: 44 Posts: 17,266	sunday night joke I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. __________________

11-07-2004, 06:34 PM	#2
JDMFantasy2k Registered User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: northeastern connecticut Age: 37 Posts: 1,765	OWNED __________________

11-08-2004, 01:55 AM	#4
Violent Apathy Registered User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Grafenwoehr, Germany Age: 40 Posts: 1,255	HAHA! __________________ Black 2007 Mustang GT California Special "There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." - Hunter S. Thompson, 1937-2005

11-08-2004, 08:02 AM	#5
IALuder Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Des Moines IA Age: 38 Posts: 7,908	AWESOME ha __________________ 93 Si H23vtec......soon to be 12lbs 95 Civic EX....automatic DD if you cant dazzle them with your brillance, baffle them with your bullshit.

11-08-2004, 12:49 PM	#6
Wren57 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2002 Age: 39 Posts: 2,856	WOW that was awesome. Wren shall remember that one. __________________ yeah, its that big

11-07-2004, 07:00 PM	#3
juvenile Posts: n/a	Yeah read this before...it's still hillarious though

11-08-2004, 02:41 PM	#7
94_AcCoRd_EX Insomniac Moderator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: OR Age: 43 Posts: 11,142	Ahaha that's the first time I've heard that one __________________ 1994 Accord EX coupe --Need hosting for your pics on HST? PM me...--

11-08-2004, 04:02 PM	#8
CD5Passion Registered User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Santa Barbara, California Age: 38 Posts: 5,446	that was awesome __________________

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode