Pun o' the day #3... its a doozy

_Wet_Dream_

It was April the 41st. Being a quadruple leap year, I was
driving in downtown Atlantis. My Barracuda was in the shop,
so I was in a rented Stingray and it was overheating.

So, I pulled into a Shell station. They said I'd blown a
seal. I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my personal life
out of it, okay pal?"

While they were doing that I walked over to a place called
The Oyster Bar. A real dive. But I knew the owner (he used
to play for the Dolphins). I said, "Hi Gill!" (you have to
yell, he's hard of herring).

Gil was also down on his luck. Fact is, he was barely
keeping his head below water. I bellied up to the sand bar.
He poured me the usual -- rusty snail, hold the grunion,
shaken, not stirred, with a peanut butter and jellyfish
sandwich on the side, heavy on the mako.

I slipped him the fin, on porpoise. I was feeling good. I
even slipped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's squids, for
the halibut.

Well, the place was crowded -- we were packed in like
sardines. They were all there to listen to the big band
sounds of Tommy Dorsal -- what sole! Tommy was rockin' the
place with a very popular tuna -- "Salmon 'Chanted Evening".
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers, probably
there to see the bass player.

One of them was this cute little yellow-tail and she's givin'
me the eye, so I figure this is my chance for a little fun.
You know, a little pisces.

But she said things I just couldn't fathom; she was too deep.
Seemed to be under a lot of pressure. Boy could she drink!
She drank like a -- she drank a lot. I said, "What's your
sign?"

She said, "Aquarian."

I said, "Great! Let's get tanked!"

I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait. I
said, "Come on baby. It'll only take a few minnows." She
threw me that same old line: "Not tonight. I got a haddock."
And she wasn't kidding, either, 'cause in came the biggest,
meanest-looking haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike. He
was covered with mussels. He came over to me and said,
"Listen, shrimp. Don't you come trolling around here." What
a crab. This guy was steamed. I could see the anchor in his
eyes.

I turned to him and said, "A-balone. You're just being
shellfish." Well, I knew there was going to be trouble and
so did Gill 'cause he was already on the phone to the cods.
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch. I catch him with a
left hook. He eels over. It was a fluke, but there he was,
lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel. Kelpless.

I said, "Forget the cods, Gill, this guy's gonna need a
sturgeon." Well, the yellow-tail was impressed with the way
I landed her boyfriend. She came over to me and said, "Hey
big boy, you're really a game fish. What's your name?"

I said, "Marlin."

Well, from then on we had a whale of a time. I took her out
to dinner. I took her to dance. I bought her a bouquet of
flounders. And then I went home with her. And what did I
get for my troubles? A case of the clams.

lol thats some funny FISH man er ish *** you got me talking in fish now !

[94_AcCoRd_EX]

Man, I was cracking up the whole time...

you can look forward to a new pun every 12 hours. unless you want me to stop. though i think i will consolidate the puns to one thread if you dont mind.

[94_AcCoRd_EX]

Originally posted by Maxvla
you can look forward to a new pun every 12 hours. unless you want me to stop. though i think i will consolidate the puns to one thread if you dont mind.

Sounds good, I'll be waiting for them (not really ) but I do like to read them... now where are you getting these from?

[KwikR6]

Good stuff man....I like them..a lot.

im getting them from the edge of insanity which is just down the road from Saskatoon, OR which is a sister city of North Calalacy and used to be called Queen's NY and shares a common history with a place somewhere in Montreal.

[94_AcCoRd_EX]

Originally posted by Maxvla
im getting them from the edge of insanity which is just down the road from Saskatoon, OR which is a sister city of North Calalacy and used to be called Queen's NY and shares a common history with a place somewhere in Montreal.

Oh, well thanks for telling me where you get them...

if you look closely thats part of most of us that are still on's profile layout thingy's

Originally posted by Maxvla
if you look closely thats part of most of us that are still on's profile layout thingy's

lol your a crackhead man but in a good way!

a good crackhead... now i think thats the best compliment anyone has ever given me! im all inside.

Pure comedy! Made my work day go by just a little faster!