Just need to vent.

I tried posting this a few min ago and it cleared on me. lets try again.

First off, im an idiot! I am in love with my ex gf who i would do anything for and would love to have back in my life beside me. We dated for alittle over a year, with the last few months being on and off.

Well she would date a little and i mostly looked (i have a hard time finding girls for some reason). Well recently she got a guy and something sparked in me (jealousy) and I told her I wanted her back. Well they broke up pretty quickly after for their own reasons.

So she was single again and she and I were hanging out. Well something happened (feelings wise) and I just didnt feel what i needed. I told her i wanted to focus on school. At the time it sounded good but it was a cop out!

Then she met this current guy. She is 19 and he is 29. Well I was not happy with that. But something came over me this time that wasnt jealousy, but love. And i know the differance because of the way my heart and mind felt. I was able to use the L word and stuff.

Well I told her and immediatly she thought it was just cus she had a guy. I tried to assure her that was not it. Well with girls its an action thing, not verbal. And I dont blame her for thinking it, i would too. Well he owns his own business and crap so no shortage of $. She isnt in school this term so she has spair time. So they are together all the time. Well he found out who i was and i was calling her and he didnt like it. Suprise suprise.

So she said if i could not call her, but her call me. So our communication has dropped like 90%, which BLOWS! I miss this girl so much and I hate that I cant be with her, or evern talk and see her.

They went out of town together last weekend. Then I hear he is taking her for a cruise for her birthday. They have known each other for like alittle over a month. Things are moving super fast. He thinks his clock is winding down and he has to find his bride like yesterday.

Well I have obviously voiced my thoughts and stuff to her. I dont know whats going to happen. I really beleive in my heart she and I have a chance. Just the more this guy is around. The more i feel her and I being separated even as friends.

Sorry for the length, just needed to vent. Hurt my hand on the punching bag outside lol.

Dude it sounds to me like you dont know what you want until its gone. Its really too bad you pulled that school line because a girl-friend pulled that on me once and it was like "just tell me what you're really thinking" I never gave her a 2nd chance when she came back like you did to your girl.

She was kind enough to give you a 2nd chance and you blew it, I think you need to start looking somewhere else because it soudns like you dont know how to deal with your emotions. I highly doubt your in love but if you are, better learn to get over it. You've had your chances with her, and she seemed to be willing to try it again. Maybe next time you wont speak so fast on "i'm not ready for this" and give it a little time before you go shutting what shes feeling down.

maybe she loved you and thought you did to and thats why you got a 2nd chance, and now you've gone and blown her emotions out of the water. If shes found a guy that makes her happy and everytime that happens "your in love" no wonder she doesn't want you calling her. Leave the girl alone, if things dont work on with her current bf you still should keep your distance.

THats the most thought out thing I can say on the topic, I dont like it when couples jerk eachother around emotionally and thats whats been happening here. Take everything I've said with a grain of salt, but if this stings, it might be the sting of true.
Best of luck.. cheers

Originally posted by mt.biker

I do agree with you on a large portion of this stuff. But one thing that I do know is that I am in love with this girl. I would do anything I could to be with her, hell i'd sell my car. I really beleive that she and I are meant for each other.

I do agree with the thing about my emotions. This girl and I have a long history together that I wont try to explain on here. There is to much. We have done the break up thing to each other a few times. So its not all one sided.

One thing I will say is there wa a point where one of her x's came back and tried to steal her, and it worked for a bit. I tried and tried to get her back, and waited and waited. FInally by the time she came back around I had lost my feelings. She tried and tried to get me back as well. Then after knowing it wouldnt happen (quite a long wait), she started exploring.

But its a 2 way street, we both have our guilty parts. But yes if i was her bf and her ex wanted to hang out and stuff I would feel the same way about her staying away. I do understand that, i dont like it but i understand it. I am just worried her and I friendship will really suffer from it. Which is something we each vowed not to let happen.

So all I can do is sit and wait to see how they play out. He is apparently supposed to move after May and that will be a deciding factor of some stuff. I picture hiim asking her to marry her b4 then at the rate he is going. lol. Anyway, thanks.

Well dude just a reminded that its often hard to hold people to things they say just after a break up. I wish you all the best and hope you didn't take what I said the wrong way.

[Duckydos]

...So she said if i could not call her, but her call me. So our communication has dropped like 90%

That right there speaks volumes. I'm sorry that you're going through this shi*t. I guess you've been apart from her for like 6 months or so now? Some girls just have a way of taking our hearts and not even realizing it. I think that you should try to cut your losses and move on (easier said then done). This girl isn't giong to get back w/ you, and if she does, something won't seem right. And by still talking to this girl (having a friendship with an ex is fine, but confessing your undieing love for her isn't), you are just re-opening old wounds.
Try to get involved in other shit (that doesn't remind you of her). Hang out with the guys and you'll eventually stop thinking about her.

-Ducky

Originally posted by Duckydos
That right there speaks volumes. I'm sorry that you're going through this shi*t. I guess you've been apart from her for like 6 months or so now? Some girls just have a way of taking our hearts and not even realizing it. I think that you should try to cut your losses and move on (easier said then done). This girl isn't giong to get back w/ you, and if she does, something won't seem right. And by still talking to this girl (having a friendship with an ex is fine, but confessing your undieing love for her isn't), you are just re-opening old wounds.
Try to get involved in other shit (that doesn't remind you of her). Hang out with the guys and you'll eventually stop thinking about her.

-Ducky

thats the best thing ive heard all day, I couldent have said it better myself with a thesaurus

[Racing Rice]

I agree with Ducky..

Cut your loses and move on. You had your chance, but blew it when you kinda blew her off. Im sure that didnt feel to good for her. She will probably remember that for the rest of her life. Your better off if you just look elsewhere.. If that isnt a good enough answer for you, I dont know what else to tell you. Its not really anyone elses fault but your own. I know what its like to go through situations like this, and its not easy. If you get a second chance you have to take it and run with it. If you fumble the ball, chances are youll drop it. There are no more replays or do overs. You can always hope for a next time, but you shouldnt put live on hold in the meantime.

Good luck.