Rules To A Breakup

What do you guys think of this?

Just the words, break up, indicate a situation riddled with impending pain and loss. Even if both parties involved agree it is in their best interests to part romantic ways, there is still a certain amount of loss attached. The best way to approach a break up is to offer the person, to the best of your ability, a clean and clear separation. While there is no definitive way to do this, hear are a few guidelines that may help you.
#1 - Specific Reasons
Don't let them wonder what went wrong. Give them the exact specific reason why you want to break up. It will give them an opportunity to really evaluate what they've done to contribute to the demise of the relationship, and hopefully apply their knowledge to their next one.
#2 - Where To Do It
If you think they will be terribly upset, try a public place that will afford you some privacy, but will deter your partner from possibly "acting up." If at all possible, try to do it some place you can be alone to really talk things through. Avoid places that contain happy memories from your relationship. You don't want to spoil them.
#3 - How To Do It
While following guideline #1 is important, you also want to make sure you are not damaging their ego either. Make it clear to them that the relationship isn't working for you both because you expect different things from the relationship, or that you've reached a line that you don't feel you can cross back over. Take extra care in your choice of wording, but never lie.
#4 - After The Break Up
Your first meetings after a break up can be strained, at best. If you don't feel you'll be comfortable being around them until your emotions are more under control, try a cold turkey break up. Agree neither of you will have contact with each other for an agreed amount of time. Make sure you agree on the set amount of time during the break up process, or the ideal of remaining friends after may diminish.
Your other option is to try a sliding scale approach. Agree to only call or see each other once or twice a week, and slowly narrow it down from there. Agree not to talk about certain things like wishing you were back together, or whether you are seeing anyone new, etc.
If you must remain in contact with them because of school, work or family it is important to remain mature about the situation. Don't run out and date everyone. Allow your partner some breathing room and time to digest their newly found situation. Also, avoid gossiping about what went wrong. It just makes everything ugly.
#5 - Trial Separation
If you are unsure about wanting a permanent break up, try a trial one instead. To signify your commitment to trying to work things out, arrange an agreed upon dating schedule with your partner, maybe once a week. Arrange for the exact dates and times when you are asking for the separation!
Remember, no matter how you do it, or what you say, if you are completely honest with yourself and your partner you both will be able to move on and grow from your experience. Like the common phrase says, "If it was meant to be, it will be."

[IALuder]

sounds almost accurate. but some of it sounds stupid. like : dont let it hurt their ego. maybe that why you wanted to leave them. ifi want out of a relationship, i will simply just say: its over im done have a good life.

its really simpler then all that.

Break up, no reasons needed other then the fact you dont want to be in the relationship adn dont see them again.

Forget all that 'bs' and just keep it simple

The only rule I think is very accurate is the very first one...tell your partner exactly what went wrong and prevent them from worrying about whether they did something wrong or not...don't just leave them not knowing what happened...

Heh, when my last g/f broke up with me she broke all of those rules...

Yea, so did my ex...

Originally posted by Kool-Aid
The only rule I think is very accurate is the very first one...tell your partner exactly what went wrong and prevent them from worrying about whether they did something wrong or not...don't just leave them not knowing what happened...

You dont have to give them reason for the break up. All they need to know is you no longer want to be with them, that should be enough.

Originally posted by biker's back
You dont have to give them reason for the break up. All they need to know is you no longer want to be with them, that should be enough.

Im my opinion...YOU DO have to give them a reason...if you're not man or woman enough to tell them what's happened...then they DIDN'T NEED to be with you in the first place...

[IALuder]

well maybe sometimes its a good thing to not tell them the reason.

^What reason for example? Why wouldn't you wanna tell them? Just to leave them in curiosity sucks...

[IALuder]

maybe not to hurt them, or maybe becuase if you tell them they will try to get you to change your mind.

I see...I just know that it sucks not knowing exactly why my ex had broke up with me...feels like there was no closure at all...and it sucks always wondering...trying to think about what or whether I possibly could have done something wrong,however, as time goes by, I begin to not care as much...

Originally posted by Kool-Aid
I see...I just know that it sucks not knowing exactly why my ex had broke up with me...feels like there was no closure at all...and it sucks always wondering...trying to think about what or whether I possibly could have done something wrong,however, as time goes by, I begin to not care as much...

Honestly you're going to have to find ways to get over him. I dont know you very well but from the sounds of things you're still very much hung up on him.

Is it just me or whenever you break up with someone you feel like a huge ass? Maybe its just me

[IALuder]

you do, but then agian you feel all the freedoms of being single and realize you did the right things.

Kool-Aid maybe its a good thing you dont know why. get over him and move on. that all you can do now.