Please girls.. why?

[02_Si]

Why is it every girl I meet has nothing but guy friends? Doesn't any girl get along with another girl? DOESN'T ANY GIRL HAVE GIRL FRIENDS??? It sucks when your girl says, "I'm just gonna hang out with my friends tonight." That means there's going to be all those cocks all over her trying to do who knows what, who knows where and it's all NO GOOD!! So please, someone tell me why girls can't have girl friends. Thank you

[ShagginJet]

Actually the chicks who have guy friends are usually the coolest chicks and the easiest to get along with. They communicate better and don't mind talking about what's on their mind. I've not dated a chick that has ONLY guy friends, but have had several that have more guy then girl friends and that worked out fine. All her guy friends were worthless anyways so I wasn't worried at all.

[02_Si]

Maybe I'm just worrying They do seem to be the best kind of chicks though.. kinda like hangin' with the guys only not... but when you meet a new chick that has all guy friends, then all the guys try to act hard and try to talk stuff to you and that's what I don't like... So they all try to get with her to make you mad... I trust the chick, but I guess I just don't trust those guys

[BlackWolf]

Originally posted by 02_Si
... I trust the chick........

That's the point. If you really trust her, then that's what matters. The guys may be "testing" you because they're protecting her in a way..........like her big brothers.......just a thought.

I know exactly what you're going through though man, and it sucks.

I have a lot of girlfriends. I'm not one of those girls that hates other girls. I know that girls do a lot stupid shit sometimes and I don't hate them because I am into stuff that would be considered "guy" stuff. Unfortunately, only one of my girlfriends is somewhat into cars. It's not to the point where I can sit there and talk about cars for hours with her. This is how I accumulated a lot of guy friends. Cars are what I love and I need to have friends that share that interest too.

[Racing Rice]

I agree with BlackWolf, if you trust her you shouldnt have anything to worry about. You can usually tell if a guy is "shady" or if he is the "big brother" type.

Maybe try to spend some time with them (if you havent already) and feel them out.

Most of my friends are girls, but in the past I usually only had guy friends because most girls were intimidated by me and got all jealous or stupid reasons. Losers!

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Most of my friends are guys. I really only have 2 close girl friends that I ever hang out with. I have other girls that I consider acquaintances, but not nec. friends. Everyone else I hang out with.....guys. I like hanging out with guys better. They're not as petty or gossip-y. I don't have to "compete" against them for attention...and they're just so much more fun. Guys don't get pissed off at the stupid lil things that girls typically would get pissed off about. And Black Wolf had it right when she said about they might act all stupid to their girl friend's new man because they are trying to protect her. My guy friends would do that to the guys I'm dating I'm sure. They didn't even have to meet my last bf to know that he wasn't the one for me. Of course I didn't listen to them and the relationship ended...but that's a whole other story...

Not all girls have only guy friends. It depends on the girl's personality and what she's into/passionate about...

For each girl with only guy friends, that's just more girlfriends for me.

I understand what you're saying. It's hard to meet a girl who's got tons of guy friends. It can be very intimidating until you get to know her and know you can trust her, and also trust them. I used to believe in the whole "if you trust her" thing.....but I'm starting to see more and more it's if you trust them, and that's the hardest thing to do.

My main gripe about no girls having girlfriends is that every girl I meet through any friend only knows guys and already has a b/f.

b

aw god... this one's right up my alley. I have a few girl 'acquaintances' of which I never hang out with, and 1 girl "FRIEND" of which, I also never hang out with so....

I know that I'm a guy chic, for 1. I like cars and racing, and car shows and girls do nothing but gripe about all these things. ALSO-it's so much cheaper for us to hang out with guys b/c, well for me... they always pay for me. So, that's less that I spend. And yes, YES! we know that some of them like us, but it depends on the girl how this situation goes. I try to make it clear that I love hanging out with them, but further than that just won't work. They don't get mad, they still hang out with me constantly and it's kewl like that.

Anyone have questions for me-shoot.

Why is it exactly that your guy friends pay for you all the time?

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Cuz some guys are just nice like that. I have guy friends like that too.

Yes, especially more in the 'southern' states, if that's what you'd like to call Oklahoma, it's a more widely known and accepted thing that guys just pay for girls, no matter who they are.

oic. Ok. Was just wondering.

Yeah, when I have been up north guys will never pay for anything for me, but down here they will/or will attempt to pay for as much as they can. I'm not sure if I like it or not..it makes me feel kinda weird.

So the guy I'm with now usually will refuse to let me pay but I'll end up slippin money into his wallet while he's not lookin.

[02_Si]

When a guy doesn't pay, it makes him feel cheap... we have to let the girl know that we can take care of her. *Shrug*.. it's a guy thing.

maikoshi, that's how my boyfriend is too. A lot of the time if I try to pay for stuff he gets mad and is like, "DON'T INSULT ME!".

[Racing Rice]

Ill let my wife pay for anything she wants to buy for me! Im not to proud, I pay all the bills and we usually use her money for running, it works out great that way. When we were dating we would split stuff. Id pay sometimes and she'd pay sometimes.

[02_Si]

^If I was married, I wouldn't care either... when you're married, things are split down the middle. That's how I feel anyway... But for now, I'm the guy who has to pay..

Yeah, that's how it was with my last relationship. We always split stuff. I work. I have money. My BF on Sat told me that he was taking me shopping on Sun (yesterday) so I could buy stuff. That's so nice of him but I would never just be able to go and spend his money like that. If he wanted to take me on my birthday for a few things or something that's ok. But it wasn't my birthday. He buys me drinks and food and stuff when we go out and that's ok because he's a man and if he wants to do that I will let him and besides, I'm not about to have him saying that I am insulting him. But I could just never do the shoppin thing.

[02_Si]

I like to take my girl shopping too... once in a while.. but I am not made of money so I can't do it very often But that just means that the things I buy her are from the heart.

[Whiteclipse99]

About the girls having guy friends....I'd hope that the guys I date or my future boyfriends would trust me enough to know that my guy friends are just that, friends. It sounds, 02_Si, that since you trust this girl that you should have nothing to worry about. I understand your concern about her guy friends, but if they're anything like my guy friends, they're more like brothers.

As for why some girls have more guy friends then girl friends, honestly, they're just more fun! I have the most fun hanging out with my guy friends. I can really be myself and they give me a really good look as to why guys act the way they do, how they really feel about the opposite sex and their viewpoints on situations.

I dunno. Let's say my BF was out and about and he came across something that he wanted me to have. Like a little something something for my car or a kick ass cd. Him bringing that home to me and surprising me would mean more to me then taking me out and spending all kinds of money on me.

[02_Si]

Originally posted by Whiteclipse99
About the girls having guy friends....

I guess guys are just jealous creatures... I don't like the idea of my woman hanging out with a bunch of guys... I've had situations before when I was seeing a girl who was part of a crowd that one of my guy friends hung out with and he was telling her all this bad stuff about me... I found out later that he did that because he likes her...that kind of stuff happens all the time and it's no good.

Here's an issue that I have. A lot of the music that I like is not mainstream. Out of all my girls, only 2 of them like it and will go to see bands with me sometimes. Now, I have a lot more guy friends that also share the same musical interests. My best friend (who is a girl) and another friend (who is a guy) were going to a show in April. Long before the show, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go and was like, "Nah, it's not my scene". The day of the show, my best friend had to have an emergency root canal. She was not going to a show like that. My boyfriend was clearly not happy about the fact that I would be going with another guy but yet he refused to come. It's not like my friend was just some guy that I just started hanging out with. I have been good friends with this kid for 2 years.

What am I supposed to do? You know?

[02_Si]

^ I've actually been in a situation like that, msvtec14... I had a friend that was a girl and I hung out with her all day and I went out with her places but I told my girl that we're only friends.. I told her that I've known this girl for a long time and she was one of my best friends, and I reassured my girl that my heart belongs to only her... I think it's ok to go if you want, but just make sure that your boyfriend knows how you feel about him and keep the invitation open so he doesn't get all paranoid.

02_Si, I feel like he does not trust me and I guess I become annoyed with that. And I know that this pisses him off because when we have talked about this situation before his comment to me is, "Well, how would you like it if I went and hung out with some girl?!". Lets say that he had some interest that more girls like than his guy friends (like a pottery class or something) and he really tries to get me to go...if I say no, who the hell am I to ***** at him if he were to go with another girl? If it was just some random girl that I don't know of his friendship with, I would be raging mad. But if it was someone I knew that he was friends with, I really can't say boo about it. Seriously, I really have tried to share what I like with him but he just says how it's not his thing. I have never given him a reason not to trust me. And sometimes, I just feel like he does not have all that much trust in me.

[02_Si]

Hmmm.. sounds like you need to be straight forward with him... Sometimes when you're in a relationship and you've had a few fights, then people become like "egg shells"... they're easily offended or bothered by something and when you try to talk about your problems, then they just get mad and yell at you. You have to sit you bo down and tell him what's on your mind.. if he can't handle it then you need to tell him that this is one of those things he'll have to deal with. I don't get upset with my girl when she tells me she is hanging with the guys, but I just don't like it... can't do anything about it so why complain about it... she'll hang with them if she wants and that's that.

I don't know. When I went to that show, like I said, I know that he was pissed off. He did not come right out and say it but the fact that he continuously was asking me who I was going with was definitely enough to tell me. He was just not happy. I kept asking him what was wrong and he would just tell me that nothing was wrong. I felt like shit all night because I upset him. And I don't think that he should have been upset. I don't want to walk on eggshells. That's not what a relationship should be about. I guess the fact that I feel not trusted at times makes me feel shitty. And I tried to communicate about the whole me going to shows thing and he was like, "Whatever. If that's going to make you happy then do whatever you want". I just don't think it's fair. I don't want to fight about it w/him because I really love and care about him.

[BlackWolf]

Did one of his prior girlfriends cheat on him? If so, it might be why he is soo upset. He has a right to be "gun shy" but he also has to realize that you are NOT her and that type of thing won't happen with you. It also sounds like you guys need to talk about trust in your relationship and if that did happen to him, why. If he's anything like my ex, it's gonna be hard to get him to open up and talk about it. But once it's out, you guys can work on the trust issues. If he doesn't want to talk, then he's not ready to. Don't push him too hard just let him know why you're upset and that you'll be there when he is ready to talk about it. Men DO NOT like to talk about their vunerability, to anyone. Give him some time but don't hold your breath. You're more important than anything else in this world, in other words, always look out for number one! Ok, I'm off my soapbox now.....I just don't want you to get hurt like I did.

I don't know that he has ever been cheated on but I know about some shit that he's told me about...the thing is that he does not really know if what he thinks went down, actually went down. I have had many relationships. I have never once cheated. Nor have I ever given him any reason to think that I would. I think that he has some kind of old fashioned values or something and he just does not think it's right for his girlfriend to be hanging out with other guys. He opens car doors for me and things of that sort. And my brother is the same way. He told me that he did not blame my boyfriend. His girlfriend is not allowed near other guys either.

[02_Si]

Originally posted by BlackWolf
Men DO NOT like to talk about their vunerability, to anyone.

Very true... I hate talking about my problems to anyone... I don't like that feeling of people feeling sorry for me.. plus talking about problems to your girl makes you feel like a wus -- sometimes... occasionally there's times when you just need to talk.

Overall, we really do have a good understanding of one another. I understand why he would get mad over that. I just want him to understand my point too. We don't have all these other huge issues and if we fight it's usually over the dumbest stuff ever.

[BlackWolf]

As long as you two keep the lines of communication open and continue not to give each other reasons to question your trust of each other, I really think you guys are off to a good start. Just remember that a great relationship takes work every day, from both of you. I wish you guys the best!

I'm not too proud to have a girl pay. I've had girls pay many times, it's nice. I consider the offer to pay to be more important than actually paying, though. It's a nice gesture that is always appreciated by me. There are times and situations, though, where I could be insulted by a girl insisting to pay, but I'm never insulted by the offer.

I've always felt that, in a relationship, things should be even and there's no reason for me to pay for everything. My good friends and I usually just end up spotting each other here and there or just paying for one another here and there, it's all even in the end, money isn't an issue between us. I don't want it to be an issue with a girlfriend, and I don't want a girlfriend who offers less to me than guy friends.

Missy, I can understand where he's coming from but I also totally understand where you're coming from. I've been on both sides of this issue many times. On the one side, I trust myself and know I'm trustworthy. On the other side, I had a bad tendency to be jealous about things I shouldn't be and it's a problem I'm aware of and trying to work on. Unfortunately I don't know any great way to get through it other than some good discussion and an understanding.....but that requires him to be ready/willing as well.

b

Originally posted by 02_Si
Why is it every girl I meet has nothing but guy friends? Doesn't any girl get along with another girl? DOESN'T ANY GIRL HAVE GIRL FRIENDS??? It sucks when your girl says, "I'm just gonna hang out with my friends tonight." That means there's going to be all those cocks all over her trying to do who knows what, who knows where and it's all NO GOOD!! So please, someone tell me why girls can't have girl friends. Thank you

Keep in mind man, that to other guys you are what they are to you: another cock "trying to do who knows what".

^^^ LOL

i dont pay for things for girls if it is just a friend thing, and i am in one of the most "southern states" there is. Its my money, and they have money too. If its a date then it is different.

[CD5Passion]

my girlfriend has very few (like 3 girlfriends) and the rest are guy friends but it doesn't really bother me at all because i do know them all and most of all i trust her, I know that i have nothing to worry about. plus all her friends are close friends of mine too

[mylittlecivic]

I have quite a few guys friends but i think i have more 'girl friends' and my boyfriend gets upset but only when he knows a guy likes me and starts calling me like everyday thats a wierd situation