"Doom" has raped my childhood

[GT40FIED]

So I sat down to watch the movie "Doom" with a lot of expectations. I played the game relentlessly as a kid and hoped the movie would at least pay a respectable tribute to it. The computer game Doom was probably the first wildly successful first person shooter...besides maybe Wolfenstein. I knew going into the movie that it couldn't pay absolute homage to the game. A movie shot in first person entirely would be terrible. What did I get? Read on.

This movie is part "Resident Evil", part "Stargate", part "Starship Troopers", and all mediocre. It starts with a lab experiment gone horribly wrong (can lab experiments end up any other way?) and ends up with a bunch of marines stationed on Mars (where the fuck did that come from?). They travel to Mars via a portal built by an ancient civilization. The portal is located in Arizona, for some reason. Like anything cool ever happened in Arizona. Anyway, the antagonists are all a result of a genetic mutation (hello Doom...have you met Resident Evil?) and they're out to skull fuck everyone. Well...not everyone. Just certain people. As the marines search the Mars compund it becomes clear that I don't care who lives or dies. As the "monsters" off the marines one by one I began wondering how this was in any way comparable to the game. All of that is cleared up in an FPS rampage that lasts all of 5 minutes. Oh joy. Even that was sort of a deus en machina. A last minute ditch to make the movie seem plausible. But alas, no.

The only redeeming factor here is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's copious swearing. Sure, it's not incredibly meaningful, but it's fun to hear him curse. In this movie he delivers the best line of his career...and the best line he will ever deliver regardless of what he's in after this. "Semper Fi, motherfucker". This movie is weak but if you're looking to kill an hour and a half, it works fine. Just don't expect your brain to recover afterwards.

[sicones]

did u ruin the movie I didn’t read it yet???

[pdiggitydogg]

I did hear that it was totally not like the game...so refused to pay any money to see it.
Which of course means that now that its available on dvd, I'll just download it, watch it, badmouth it, and delete it.

[ChrisCantSkate]

ehh.. i didnt see it but on any of these action movies, what do you guys actually expect? i hope its not a meaningful plot and a bunch of great acting. shit this one was based off a video game over 10-15 years ago. you really expected a good movie from that? shame on you. did they shoot a bunch of aliens, have some gore and maybe a couple of cheesy one liners? thats what i'd expect out of it.

[CD5Passion]

i think the movie was actually based on the new version of doom..i havent played it but i heard the new Doom was rediculously crazy...I'll probably watch it just cause i have nothing better to do

[GT40FIED]

Originally posted by sicones
did u ruin the movie I didn’t read it yet???

No. At least I tried not to.

Actually Chris, I was looking to shut my brain off for an hour and a half. There wasn't really much gore, they didn't really kill "aliens", and they tried to go the serious route...no cheesy one liners for the most part. If it had all of those 3, I'd give it much more respect. I love a horror movie that can make fun of itself. Sadly this wasn't one.

[Mischief]

warning spoilers below


the original doom game was about marines killing shit from hell.. this is about a space swat team killing mutants, zombies if you will.. they pretty much made a different resident evil and threw the name doom on it.. and steve it wasn't a lab experiment, they were doing an archaelogy (sp?) dig and something came out or whatever..

[CD5Passion]

actually found resident evil entertaining...although i havent seen the first one yet. call me crazy

[AzCivic]

Another movie that sucks is Flight Plan w/ Jodie Foster.

[pdiggitydogg]

You know what movie was fun? Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Ive seen it 4 times since new yrs

[GT40FIED]

Originally posted by Mischief
warning spoilers below


the original doom game was about marines killing shit from hell.. this is about a space swat team killing mutants, zombies if you will.. they pretty much made a different resident evil and threw the name doom on it.. and steve it wasn't a lab experiment, they were doing an archaelogy (sp?) dig and something came out or whatever..

*MORE SPOILERS*




Actually Chris, it was a lab experiment. Remember...they synthesized the 24th chromosome found in the fossil and injected it into a human. The human went ape shit and turned into one of those retarded mutant zombie things. It was kind of a cross between Resident Evil (which wasn't bad...but they should've stopped at one) and Event Horizon (if Event Horizon had sucked instead of stomping ass left and right)

And yes Pat...Hitchhiker's Guide is fucking awesome. One of the most quotable movies I've seen in a long time. Plus it's funny in a way that you have to be at least a little intelligent to get. If I had thumbs, they would be up.

[AzCivic]

Just got done watching Lord of War, I liked it.

And yes Hitchhiker's Guide was awesome.

[GT40FIED]

I really liked Lord Of War. As much as I know I shouldn't like Nicolas Cage, I haven't really hated him in anything. The movie does get a bit depressing towards the end though. It's sort of one of those "he wins but still loses" kinda things.

[CD5Passion]

Originally posted by GT40FIED
*MORE SPOILERS*




Actually Chris, it was a lab experiment. Remember...they synthesized the 24th chromosome found in the fossil and injected it into a human. The human went ape shit and turned into one of those retarded mutant zombie things. It was kind of a cross between Resident Evil (which wasn't bad...but they should've stopped at one) and Event Horizon (if Event Horizon had sucked instead of stomping ass left and right)

And yes Pat...Hitchhiker's Guide is fucking awesome. One of the most quotable movies I've seen in a long time. Plus it's funny in a way that you have to be at least a little intelligent to get. If I had thumbs, they would be up.

i loved hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, definatly one of the finest movies and I'm a Mos Def fan. I never saw event horizon (was it really good?)
and i never got to see lord of war..but depressing? kinda like Saving Private Ryan depressing..that shit pissed me right off

[GT40FIED]

Originally posted by CD5Passion
i loved hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, definatly one of the finest movies and I'm a Mos Def fan. I never saw event horizon (was it really good?)
and i never got to see lord of war..but depressing? kinda like Saving Private Ryan depressing..that shit pissed me right off

Saying that Event Horizon is good is like saying a McLaren F1 is fast. Event Horizon stomps so much ass. It's way better than any sci-fi horror movie has any right to be. I don't think I'd compare Lord Of War to Shaving Ryan's Privates. Lord Of War has quite a bit of humor in it and it's a good lesson in how to be a smug asshole to law enforcement. Plus it doesn't have Vin Diesel. That's gotta be worth some points right there.