.:HSTuners::

*ChrisCantSkate* · 06-20-2005, 01:25 PM

Subject: Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

CD5Passion · 06-20-2005, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

you know I have always wondered this

where do you find these things anyways Chris?

ebpda9 · 06-20-2005, 03:08 PM

lol, good stuf

MissJDM · 06-21-2005, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
Subject: Why?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

After this, I really oughta start questioning myself...

GT40FIED · 06-21-2005, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

No. You should make her do it first if she thinks she's so fucking great. Then you can make fun of her to no end when she fails (provided the option to belt her isn't available).

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

My guess is that it was the same person who decided to spell "awkward" so fucking awkwardly.

*KwikR6* · 06-21-2005, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisCantSkate
Subject: Why?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

This happens to me where i Live...in winter like -40..people bitch about how they wish it was summer..then in summer..peopel bitch about the heat...stupid people.

AkimboStylee · 06-23-2005, 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GT40FIED
No. You should make her do it first if she thinks she's so fucking great. Then you can make fun of her to no end when she fails (provided the option to belt her isn't available).

My guess is that it was the same person who decided to spell "awkward" so fucking awkwardly.

is that the same way abbreviation is such a long word

GT40FIED · 06-23-2005, 01:22 AM

Probably. And why "weird" is spelled weird.

06-20-2005, 01:25 PM	#1
ChrisCantSkate Thought Police Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: orlando florida Age: 40 Posts: 9,662	why? Subject: Why? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving! The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you. __________________ Black Vtec Prelude-h22a power'd Many dreams come true, and some have silver linings. I live for my dreams and a pocket full of gold.

06-20-2005, 03:08 PM	#3
ebpda9 Repost Wagon Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: over here Age: 44 Posts: 17,266	lol, good stuf __________________

06-23-2005, 01:22 AM	#8
GT40FIED Best...mod...ever Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: At the end of the longest line Age: 43 Posts: 7,451	Probably. And why "weird" is spelled weird. __________________ 1984 1/2 Mustang GT350 #842, Faster than you...nuff said Anna Fan Club President/Dictator Someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world actually revoles around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed that it was not them. Sometimes this includes me. "If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." - George Orwell Welcome to the new Amerika

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