Language decoded

[Accord Man]

Taken from another board.


Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads:

40-ish .........................49.
Adventurous .................Slept with everyone.
Athletic ...................... No breasts
Average looking ............Moooo.
Beautiful ......................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure ........On medication.
Feminist .......................Fat
Free spirit ....................Junkie
Friendship first ..............Former slut.
New-Age .....................Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-Fashioned ..............No BJs.
Open-minded ................Desperate
Outgoing .....................Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional .................Bitch
Voluptuous ..................Very Fat
Hugh frame ..................Hugely Fat
Wants soul mate ...........Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry - You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit - I'm gay