What a start to the year

[drdingo21]

Originally posted by GT40FIED
So yeah...I'm starting the new year nursing some wounds. Last night I went out into the garage to grab some egg rolls out of the freezer (Pagoda Asian Sensations are the shit) and when I went to walk back in front of my mom's car to the kitchen door, I caught my back foot on some stupid lawn chair type thing and landed with the side of my ribs square against the corner of the Mustang's bumper. Before anyone asks, yes, I was sober as a judge at the time. It didn't hurt real bad last night, but holy shit it kills today. Moving, breathing, coughing...all painful as hell. I think I just bruised a few ribs, but damnit...what a shitty start to another shitty year.

I'll tell you the old remedy my mom taught me when I was a kid.

You have to find a tube of chap stick. After you found said chap stick, uncap it and go infront of a mirror and remove your shirt. Now in one fluid motion slam the twisty end of the chap stick up your ass and grab your nipple at the same time.

Cures all ailments.

Make sure to grab your nips otherwise it might hurt.