I wish I were this witty sometimes

[DsBlu01CivEX]

I was cruising at my usual speed (i.e., 10 mph over
the limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a cop
with a radar gun the other side laying in wait.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with
that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love,
asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And
just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then
I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then
four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side
until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but
surely stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot ass
hole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun
and park him behind a bridge....."

Traffic Ticket: $195.00

Court Costs: $45.00

The look on that cop's face: PRICELESS!!