loneliness

for you females living on your own, how do you combat the loneliness of not having your mother or father around (which ever you are the closest to).

How hard was your first move out of the house, what did you go through and want did you learn?

one concerned bf

I've never had to combat with the lonliness of not having my parents around...besides...my dad was never around so I didn't know the guy. As soon as I turned 16...I knew that I was an independant woman with goals...and I sought them. I am still going for them as we speak. Igot out of the house, joined the military, got my own place, don't need nobody and I love not being "people dependent"...
One thing though...my mom and my relationship has never been better.

Originally posted by Kool-Aid
I've never had to combat with the lonliness of not having my parents around...besides...my dad was never around so I didn't know the guy. As soon as I turned 16...I knew that I was an independant woman with goals...and I sought them. I am still going for them as we speak. Igot out of the house, joined the military, got my own place, don't need nobody and I love not being "people dependent"...
One thing though...my mom and my relationship has never been better.

somehow I dont think tellign her to be more like you will work, anyone else got some ideas?

Im not saying you should tell her to be like me...I don't even know what she's going through...I thoguht it was just a question...
So your girlfriend is going through lonliness without her parents?

Originally posted by Kool-Aid
Im not saying you should tell her to be like me...I don't even know what she's going through...I thoguht it was just a question...
So your girlfriend is going through lonliness without her parents?

She's getting home sick since she moved out for school this sept

Oh...I see. Well, how far away does she live from home? Can she afford to get home on the weekends?

[DsBlu01CivEX]

If this is her first year out, it's sorta to be expected that she'll get home sick. I'm pretty sure the majority of kids that go off to school are at some point in their freshmen yr.

As for what she should do to get over her home sickness....there is no one remedy. But I think what would work for me is just to keep myself occupied with friends, trying new things, "investigating" my new town, getting involved in an organization or what have you on campus......you know that sorta stuff. Calling home like once a week just to keep updated on what's going back home would be sufficient for me...and wouldn't be over doing it....if you call home everyday, you're never gonna get over your home sickness.

biker - how old is she if you dont mind me asking.

Originally posted by cashizslick
biker - how old is she if you dont mind me asking.

she's 20

How is she doing now?

[IALuder]

shes 20 and is having problems leaving her home. man i cant wait to get out of mine and im 18.

Originally posted by SFKing
shes 20 and is having problems leaving her home. man i cant wait to get out of mine and im 18.

ya but sf i think things are different for girls.

Originally posted by Kool-Aid
How is she doing now?

I think things are improving, however there is only so much I can do and she needs to stand on her own two feet.

[IALuder]

i would agree.

Originally posted by biker's back
I think things are improving, however there is only so much I can do and she needs to stand on her own two feet.

Is she the youngest or the only child? Or even the only girl of her immediate family?

she's the only child

[IALuder]

i dont get what that has to do with moving out. beside if she was spoiled now she wont be cuase she isnt under there roof.

[DsBlu01CivEX]

I personally think that it's all on how the child is raised. Some children are taught the skills to live on their own while they're growing up, and some are not. The ones that are taught the skills that they will need as an adult while going through high school won't get nearly as home sick as those children that weren't taught those skills.

I know for myself, I can't really see myself getting overly home sick when I move out. After my parents got divorced and mom had to work to support my sis and I and herself, my sis and I picked up a lot having to take care of ourselves after school and what not. She raised us to be very independent women. My sis is much more independent than me, but I can hold my own.

Hey until you've done it you don't know...

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Originally posted by biker's back
Hey until you've done it you don't know...

yah but I also know myself well enough to say that I won't be that homesick. I can take care of myself thank you very much, and after 20some years living with my parents, I don't think anyone would be homesick after leaving.

[IALuder]

^has to agree with that statement. no offense to anyone.

Originally posted by biker's back
she's the only child

I think that being an only child may have a lot to do with it...she didn't have any siblings so her parents probably showered her with love and affection so now she misses them. Understandable. At least she's getting better. I don't know how you two are handling the situation, but like I said before, maybe trips on the weekend to her parents' house could do some good...or maybe not. Good luck.

Her parents didnt' shower her with love.

Blah, its easier just going on my own knownledge.

Originally posted by DsBlu01CivEX
yah but I also know myself well enough to say that I won't be that homesick. I can take care of myself thank you very much, and after 20some years living with my parents, I don't think anyone would be homesick after leaving.

Just because you get home sick doesn't mean you dont know how to take care of yourself.

Hey once you've moved out on your own and into a different town 100 miles away from your family THEN yuo tell me how yuo feel.

well, good luck...is all I can say

My $.02 would have to be for her to just keep in touch. Keep phone calls current and you could even make a "hushhush" phone call to them (if you know them) and ask them to send her a nice "just for hello" card every once in a while, or take the time to send a little package. (with some earrings or a new pair of shoes). As you know biker-my mother whom I've never been more than 15 mins. away from my entire life moved 6 hours away and she does these things for me and it makes me really happy and helps me deal with missing her.

My family is all close though, we talk almost every day (my mother and I, my dad & I), and if I don't speak to one of the 2 for over 24-48 hours they both get upset and worried. I'm 23 years old and we still do this.

Get her a webcam system set up with them where she can see them and they can see her... if this is possible?

It helps me alot to be able to sign on yahoo messenger and turn on my mom's webcam and see her and my stepdad and brother and their dogs and they show me new things they got, stuff like that.

Thanks Quin, we actually just recently got it all worked out. This is no longer a problem.

oh good! I know how that is and it sux.