.:HSTuners::::Hondas Wanted:: |
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01-08-2002, 09:39 PM | #1 |
Thought Police
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: orlando florida
Age: 40
Posts: 9,662
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men and women oil change
Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee. 3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change $20.00 Coffee $ 1.00 Total $21.00. Oil Change instructions for Men: 1) Go to auto parts store and write a check for $50.00 for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree. 2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard. 3) Open a beer and drink it. 4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. 5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. 6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it. 7) Place drain pan under engine. 8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench. 9) Give up and use crescent wrench. 10) Unscrew drain plug. 11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil on you in process. 12) Clean up mess. 13) Have another beer while watching oil drain. 14) Look for oil filter wrench. 15) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off. 16) Beer. 17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change tomorrow. 18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. 19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18. 20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday. 21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer. 22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface. 23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. 24) Remember drain plug from step 11. 25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. 26) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along with drain plug. 27) Drink beer. 28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug. 29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. 30) Drink beer. 31) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame. 32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31. 33) Begin cussing fit. 34) Throw wrench. 35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December 1992 in the left boob. 36) Beer. 37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow. 38) Beer. 39) Beer. 40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil. 41) Beer. 42) Lower car from jack stands. 43) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands. 44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23. 45) Beer. 46) Test drive car. 47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence. 48) Car gets impounded. 49) Make bail. 50) Get car from impound yard. Money spent: Parts $50.00 DUI $2500.00 Impound fee $75.00 Bail $1500.00 Beer $25.00 Total-- $4150.00 -- But you know the job was done right!
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Black Vtec Prelude-h22a power'd Many dreams come true, and some have silver linings. I live for my dreams and a pocket full of gold. Last edited by ChrisCantSkate : 01-08-2002 at 09:51 PM. |
01-08-2002, 09:45 PM | #2 |
Banned
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Florida
Age: 55
Posts: 1,331
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That was freakin' hillarious!
(What about the final total spent for the men tho?) LMAO! :P |
01-08-2002, 09:49 PM | #3 |
Thought Police
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: orlando florida
Age: 40
Posts: 9,662
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whao glad u caught it, im gonna try to edit it in
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Black Vtec Prelude-h22a power'd Many dreams come true, and some have silver linings. I live for my dreams and a pocket full of gold. |
01-08-2002, 09:53 PM | #4 |
Repost Wagon
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: over here
Age: 44
Posts: 17,266
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LMAO
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01-08-2002, 10:16 PM | #5 |
2nd Gear
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: somewhere
Age: 45
Posts: 291
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im very capable of changing my own oil =D im just smart enough to know its a pain and id rather pay someone else to do it...
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** 2000 Honda Civic HX ** |
01-08-2002, 10:34 PM | #6 |
Insomniac Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: OR
Age: 43
Posts: 11,142
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LMAO, good one 4GLude
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1994 Accord EX coupe --Need hosting for your pics on HST? PM me...-- |
01-09-2002, 12:15 AM | #7 |
Posts: n/a
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Some of us girlies don't mind changing our own oil.
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01-09-2002, 08:21 AM | #8 |
Project Combat Honda
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Highland,OH
Age: 45
Posts: 7,985
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Now THAT.. Was great..
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Racing Rice |
01-09-2002, 09:57 AM | #9 |
THE GENERAL
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Earth (usually)
Age: 42
Posts: 5,698
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LMAO
That was very good!
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HondaStyle.com Babysitter's Club Member #0 Soon to be >Dr Max Immuh< |
01-09-2002, 10:13 AM | #10 |
Posts: n/a
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that sh%t had me cryin...y'all need to stop that...LMDAO
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01-09-2002, 12:09 PM | #11 | |
Zoom-Zoom
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,924
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OMG! That was funny as hell.
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Quote:
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01-09-2002, 02:08 PM | #12 |
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Oviedo, FL
Age: 42
Posts: 3,195
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that was rather comical
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01-10-2002, 11:07 PM | #13 |
It has 4 Doors...
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Fredericksburg,Va
Age: 49
Posts: 907
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That was great...thanks for sharing it....
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