I REALLY need advice for a friend who's f'ed up...BAAADDD

Alright. I work at a car audio shop, started about 6 mths ago. I had no formal training but was saving to go to school for it(Installer Institute in Daytona Beach,FL) The owner found out and old installer was moving back in 2 months after I was hired, and that he was VERY good, so he told me to hold off on school and wait for him to come. I did, meanwhile soaking up every bit of imformation I could through internet, mags, books, MECP guides,and product lit. It's been 4 months or so since he's come back and this guy has taught me ssooooo much its not even funny. I'm not afraid or 98 and up Benz' anymore!! Well, this is where the problem starts.

We'd already knocked out a couple of fiberglass projects when this girl starts coming around the shop. She's 17. She starts hanging out and seeing the glasswork and want it for her car...96 Mustang. So she decides to go with 3 15's in an fb box in the cab, 6" midbass, components, and 3 amps...one of which was motorized from under the rear deck in the trunk. It took us 5 weeks to complete that....i mean it was a good install, but comeon!!! We didn't even paint it..someone else did.

Well, she was first hitting on the salesman, which helped out in her getting a sweet deal on the system AND labor. When the salesman( who is married) saw what was going on and she wanted more product, he stoped being so friendly, and she turned her attention to the store owner. She was able to sweet talk the owner into another high end component set and EQX for next to what we pay for them. When he(who is married) saw, he stopped favors going her way. She bagan to come my way, (I'm not married...only 21 for god sakes!!!), and I let her know from the getgo I'm not into any form of relations or whatnot with minors. So she turns to the main installer who is the main fabricator. It starts out as just coming over every couple of days to see how the cars coming along, then turns into she buys lunch for him and vise-versa. The other installer(who is married with 2 kids) thinks nothing of it. We finally finish the car. She is still coming every day. Of course we want you to come and let us know whats going on with the system and we demand you brin it back after 2 wks for retuning, but every day like clockwork, morning-go to school-1 pm come to shop-school from 2 to4-at shop til close,and then some. It got to the point where he'd stay late and close up and WAIT for her to come later...which she did.

His work has been VERY not him as of late. No prepping alarms, no figuring airspace for picky subs, all kindsa jackleg stuff he made fun of before this happened. I have the world of repect for him and know he does great work-hell of an imagination, but he doesn't even want to work anymore. He even asked every one of us what we thought of it and we all told him it is STUPID. He is ruining his life and truly thinks he is not.

The thing that made me post this is today when his wife called the store, he told her he's in love with another girl...GIRL!!! He is 28, his wife is 31 and the intruder is 17. He is not going home anymore and is moving in with the girl as of tommorrow. I tried to make him realize that when they are together, they both act like her...like KIDS, its retarded. They play little games and everything.
I tried asking how would he feel if that were done to him by his wif...no comment. How would you feel if she killed herself over this..ah, she wouldn't do that.

What the hell can I do to make this guy realize that she has played EVERYONE up there and he's the one that took the bait the hardest.

So much for being the next Fishman

[ChrisCantSkate]

wow... he dosnt realize what she's doing? tell him how he went from buy to guy trying to find one that would take the bait

mate from the sounds of it there isn't much you can do to make him turn away from her right away. The only thing you could do would be to set an example and just be a great friend to him.

Sometimes our friends make really dumb choices in life, its up to you if you stay friends with him or not, you can't hold this against him for long.

Now theres something to think about, how do you know YOUR so right? Maybe the marriage was on the rocks from the get go, maybe this girl makes him happy like hes never been before. Are you going to take that away from him? I never support the break up of a marriage and espically over another girl. But if hes going to play stupid and not think about what hes doing to his wife then the only thing you can do is hold up a mirror and show him what he is doing. Whatever you do though dont make it so you can't be friends, if he bitches just tell him you think as his friend you need to provide him with another angle to situtation and all you ask is that he listens. Once you'd said your piece, you dont bring it up again.

You might show him the change in his work, as that might hit home the most. But other then that, hes being lead around by his dick and no amout of logic will talk him out of it.

[ebpda9]

tell him to get a cold shower. that girl is definitely a gold digger

That's just it. I have showed him his work. He sees it by the comebacks that he's been having lately. As far as I know his marriage was great, he admitted that he feels guilty by this and doesn't know what to do. I told him to just trust God but I forgot he doesn't believe

He knows she's tried to hit on everyone up there. He thinks she's hot...I'd say more cute than anything. I don't know. I even told him I'd bring him on Dr. Phil or something, JUST TO MAKE HIM REALIZE HE HAS A PROBLEM. The ONLY gripe I've heard him have with his wife is that she doesn't like his profession. We make VERY good money and also its the pride you take in your work and chance to show your creativity. If you lose those two things, you are lost.

I tried to see if he was just enfatuated with her, and he said he didn't know. He describes her as the female version of him, I don't know.

[mylittlecivic]

Wow, Im 17 i'd say that girl has got some serious problems, Who does she think she is?? And this guy has got to be stupid for falling for her, I hope he gets it together fast. 17, 28 Isnt that illegal?:o

You wanna hear about a ****ed up friend?

How about i go today to cash a check today and the guy serving me is a friend of mine. He disappeared of the face of the earth for 4 months, dropped out of school and now is a teller. I mean he only finished grade 12, the guy is shit out of luck 20years down the road. I feel bad for him but i just wished him a marry xmas

Well hell, I take it all back...somewhat. He just told me today that he called her back to try and make it up to her and before he could say he was sorry, she told him the REAL reason she kicked him out a year and a half ago(he was in Memphis and got kicked out by her and moved to New York. He had always wondered why and when he kept asking, she said he was being a jerk and liked car audio more than her..he just accepted it and she eventually moved to NY to be with him and they moved back 4 mths ago. He always wasn't sure in the back of his mind though if that really was it)
After telling him that she knows what he's going through, and after seeing the "WTF" look on his face....she tells him that she was having an affair. She kept it hidden for a year and a half and he couldn't last a couple of weeks. They say its mutual, but I think I understand a little better now. He says this is the girl for him, but I think 17 still is a bit "fresh" to be thinking of that kinda relationship.

[DsBlu01CivEX]

ugh....yah I'd agree that that right now is a bit of an age difference, but the way you talk about this child, I'd say his ass is stupid and is gonna be cheated on again. As for the cheatin wife....thats a WHOLE other issue...

Too much cheatin in the air on this one...

He'll learn the hard way

[Rob]

I'm not even gonna comment on this subject....all I can say is all three of these people deserve each other

*EDIT* Just another prime example that marriage is bullshit..........