.:HSTuners::::Hondas Wanted:: |
11-24-2003, 08:01 PM
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#1 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: York
Age: 45
Posts: 2,542
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I wish I were this witty sometimes
I was cruising at my usual speed (i.e., 10 mph over
the limit), I passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun the other side laying in wait. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?" To which I replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded. The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" "Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 foot wide." "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot ass hole?" To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge....." Traffic Ticket: $195.00 Court Costs: $45.00 The look on that cop's face: PRICELESS!!
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"Oh, I have a goal. And it's to have no goals at all." http://www.myspace.com/kenike |
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11-24-2003, 08:20 PM
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#2 |
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Yahoo Watashi wa kattaze!
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Meanwhile, up in The D...
Age: 42
Posts: 10,579
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good joke
bad ticket I hate the man |
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11-24-2003, 08:35 PM
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#3 | |
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Banned
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: The stixx
Age: 39
Posts: 1,550
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Quote:
Lol damn the man maybe?? 
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me from another forum (im the top geekz0r) the geekz0r (11:03:46 PM): basicly, look at it this way...the 6speed is the same is the 5speed in 2,3,4,5,and 6...only the speeds are different because of the fd the geekz0r (11:04:16 PM): so 2nd pulls like 1st in the 5speed, 3rd is like 2nd, etc. PortugeeTex (11:04:26 PM): so whats 1st like then? the geekz0r (11:04:49 PM): 1st is like hitting a cheeta in the ass with a tazer PortugeeTex (11:04:53 PM): lmfao |
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11-24-2003, 09:07 PM
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#4 |
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Yahoo Watashi wa kattaze!
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Meanwhile, up in The D...
Age: 42
Posts: 10,579
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damn right, damn the man!
crazy po-po's...... |
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11-24-2003, 09:09 PM
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#5 |
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Posts: n/a
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did you really do that LMAO
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11-24-2003, 09:27 PM
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#6 |
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Repost Wagon
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: over here
Age: 45
Posts: 17,266
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LMFAO, nice joke
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11-24-2003, 10:19 PM
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#7 |
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Insomniac Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: OR
Age: 44
Posts: 11,142
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Ahahaha
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1994 Accord EX coupe --Need hosting for your pics on HST? PM me...-- |
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11-24-2003, 10:23 PM
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#8 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: York
Age: 45
Posts: 2,542
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Quote:
I wish!!!!! Especially the last time I was pulled over. It happened like 2 months ago or something like that....Got a $104 damn ticket for doing a U-turn. Why can't PA be normal and legalize U-turns like every other damn state???? stupid cop!
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"Oh, I have a goal. And it's to have no goals at all." http://www.myspace.com/kenike |
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11-24-2003, 10:25 PM
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#9 | |
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Thought Police
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: orlando florida
Age: 41
Posts: 9,662
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Re: I wish I were this witty sometimes
Quote:
hahahaha... omg thats great
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Black Vtec Prelude-h22a power'd  Many dreams come true, and some have silver linings. I live for my dreams and a pocket full of gold. |
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11-24-2003, 11:12 PM
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#10 |
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4th Gear
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New Castle, PA
Age: 37
Posts: 621
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my parents called the cops on me i think it was 2 nights ago and i knew the cop (got me introuble a lot of times) i told him to suck my dick twice lol
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11-25-2003, 02:25 AM
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#11 | |||
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Northwest
Age: 40
Posts: 3,993
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lol that joke was hillarious, i never pulled a prank on a cop but one time i got pulled over the cop took mine and my sisters liscences. she had been sleeping int he back and i wasnt supposed to be driving after midnight but when he came back from running his checks he gave me her liscence and told me to give mine to her he was all screwed up we dont even look that much alike but i was relieved
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11-25-2003, 03:35 AM
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#12 | |
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Posts: n/a
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Quote:
http://www.hpphoto.com/servlet/LinkP...4bce6950&size= http://www.hpphoto.com/servlet/LinkP...2a7424fa&size= |
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11-25-2003, 09:19 AM
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#13 | |
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Repost Wagon
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: over here
Age: 45
Posts: 17,266
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Quote:
lmfao
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11-25-2003, 11:57 AM
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#14 |
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Posts: n/a
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what a tool
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11-25-2003, 12:18 PM
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#15 | |
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Posts: n/a
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Quote:
So many things to be proud of in that sentence  |
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11-25-2003, 01:35 PM
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#16 | |
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Thought Police
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: orlando florida
Age: 41
Posts: 9,662
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Quote:
haha thats great
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Black Vtec Prelude-h22a power'd Many dreams come true, and some have silver linings. I live for my dreams and a pocket full of gold. |
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11-25-2003, 03:41 PM
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#17 | |
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Quote:
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11-25-2003, 11:46 PM
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#18 |
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Posts: n/a
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Interstate 80 I think (the construction looks familiar).
Female driver, do you expect any less? (puts on flame suit) |
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11-30-2003, 01:36 AM
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#19 |
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Posts: n/a
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bet that made her day haha
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