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Old 05-08-2003, 08:41 AM   #1
Racing Rice
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European Commission announcement..

The European Commission has just announced an agreement that English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German (the other possibility).

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Goverment conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in of new rules which would apply to the language and reclassify it as EuroEnglish. The agreed plan is as follows.

In year 1, the soft "c" would be replaced by "s". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be replaced by "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan now have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, whent the troublesome "ph" is replaced by "f". This will reduse "fotograf" by 20%. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Goverments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgrasful and they should eliminat them.

By year 4 peopl wil be reseptiv to lingwistik korektions such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v" (saving mor keyboard spas). During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibil riten syl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.... ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU! VE VIL AL SPIK LIK GERMANS!
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Old 05-08-2003, 09:10 AM   #2
ebpda9
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lofl, but the last phrase sounds like a real thick russian accent
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Old 05-08-2003, 09:19 AM   #3
Racing Rice
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Quote:
Originally posted by hondaman-iac
lofl, but the last phrase sounds like a real thick russian accent


Sounds pretty German to me.. Maybe your accent reading it makes it sound russian..
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Old 05-08-2003, 10:04 AM   #4
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OMG :o That would really suck.
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Old 05-08-2003, 10:09 AM   #5
ebpda9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Racing Rice
Sounds pretty German to me.. Maybe your accent reading it makes it sound russian..



wat ? me speaks english very very goodly.




yeah i have a thick accent when i speak, but most of the ppl confuse me with a portorican/mexican when i speak :o
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Old 05-08-2003, 10:10 AM   #6
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LO!!!!
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