Getting to Heaven

New policy in heaven

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the

admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven,

you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would go

into effect at noon the next day.

The next day at 12:01am, the first person came to the gates of Heaven.

The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly said to the

man, "Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was

going when you died."

"No problem,"the man said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on

my lunch hour and caught my wife half naked. She appeared to be having an

affair, but her lover was no where in sight. I immediately began

searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.

Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony

And noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!

The nerve of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his

fingers until he fell to th ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed

in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This

ticked me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I

could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I

thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony,

and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The

excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and

died almost instantly."

The Angel sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have

A bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the Angel announced, "OK, sir.

Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.

A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said, "Before I can

let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died."

"No problem," said the Second man. "But you're not going to believe

this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily

exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to

relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and

accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the

fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes

running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of

course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my

fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground,

unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his

REFRIGERATOR, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors

And lands on top of me, killing me instantly."

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story.

"I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. " Very

well," the Angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets

the man enter.

A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel

says, "Please tell me how you died The third man says, "OK, picture this. I'm

naked, hiding inside a refrigerator....."

[94_AcCoRd_EX]

Ahaha that's a good one

omg that was good. How someone could get inside a fridge i dunno.

Ha ha ha...take out all of the shelves I guess...ha ha ha

[Rob]

[Wren57]

I needed that...

Well sheit....there's lots more...look in Fast and Furious Females....I posted one about mother and daughter...

[ebpda9]

LMAO, good one

[mylittlecivic]

lol i hope people arent really that dumb

I hope they're not either.

[MAXed Out]