.:HSTuners::

*KwikR6* · 12-03-2003, 02:59 PM

Ten ways to get dumped fast!

Are you having relationship problems? Want me to kill your girlfriend? I would, if it weren’t for that pesky little thing called “jailtime.” But I’ll make it up to you by putting together a list of ten things you can do to exact revenge on her. The trick is to let her fall into a false sense of security, then you’ve got her right where you want her. And where do women feel the safest? That’s right, in bed. TRY THESE.

10. The Donkey Punch
This one is a classic, not to mention an all-time GorillaMask favorite. When you’re doing your woman doggystyle, wait until you’re just about to blow, then hit her in the head. HARD. Her state of unconsciousness will cause her vagina to naturally tighten up. SCORE!

9. The Dirty Sanchez
Once again, get your woman in the doggystyle position. You’ll need a more liberal chick for this one, as it requires you to put your finger in her ass for the duration of intercourse. When you’re done, quickly wipe your brownest finger across her top lip. You think you want to get away from your woman after sex now? Wait until she’s got a shitty mustache.

8. The Dutch Oven
This is the only non-sexual entry on the list, as I’ve done it to many guys in my day during sleepovers. When you’re laying in bed with your woman, and you’ve got a juicy fart coming… let it rip. Just be sure to cutoff all escape routes the air may have. Then shove your woman’s head under the covers and don’t let her out until she’s pukes. If you’ve got some big balls, tell her she can’t get back in bed until she washes the sheets.

7. The Strawberry Sundae
The next time your girl is giving you oral pleasure, try this one out. Just when you’re about to blow, tell her to look up at you because you want to see how beautiful she is. Then punch her in the nose and spooge all over her face. The combination of red and white looks a lot like a strawberry sundae…

6. The Angry Pirate
The next time your girl gives you a blowjob, tell her beforehand you don’t want to finish in her mouth. She’s gladly oblige. When you do finish, pull out and force it into her eye. When she’s stumbling around, kick her in the shin as hard as you can. Then run. As you’re leaving, turn around, and if you’ve done everything correctly you should see an angry, one-eyed, peg-legged pirate.

5. The Bucking Bronco
Another one to do during doggystyle. While you’re going at it extra hard, grab on to your girlfriend’s breasts and tell her that her sister’s are much firmer. Then try to hold on for eight seconds, rodeo style. This one works extra well if her sister is dead. What? Jesus, that was just wrong.

4. The Gorilla Mask
You didn’t think I named my website after a monkey, did you? Take your chick and go through the normal Donkey Punch routine… except this time when she’s knocked out you blow your load all over her face. Shave her pubes, stick them on her grill before the jizz dries, and… there you have a GORILLA MASK.

3. The U-Turn
The next time your girl is giving you head, pull out and shoot it up her nostril. Try to get so much force behind it that it comes out the other one. Wow, that takes talent.

2. The Rusty Trombone
Next time your girl makes you settle for a handjob, tell her you want The Rusty Trombone. Make her eat your ass and give you a reach-around. HAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT THAT FEELS GOOD.

1. The Beverly Hills Whiffer
Does your girlfriend really need to be put in her place? This one is perfect. The next time she lets you do her doggystle, stick your finger in her ass just like you’re performing The Dirty Sanchez. Scrape as much as you can out of there, and when you’re about to blow grab her hair and pull her head back. Stick one finger in each nostril and yell "So, you still think your shit don't stink?!"

Remember...these are just a joke.

mylittlecivic · 12-03-2003, 03:00 PM

gross lol

*KwikR6* · 12-03-2003, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mylittlecivic
gross lol

Yes..very
but like I said...just a joke.

BlackWolf · 12-03-2003, 03:40 PM

These "jokes" are just wrong and I am extremely liberal. Whoever wrote this in their website is one very sick, sick bastard.

12-03-2003, 06:40 PM

Ya, i dont think those are ideas that help develope a loving relationship. . . .

GT40FIED · 12-03-2003, 11:01 PM

Bah...lighten up folks. Sure, they're gross...but they're also f@cking hilarious. I think the most disturbing thing is that there's actually names for that shit.

BlackWolf · 12-04-2003, 07:45 AM

Actually the most disturbing part is the fact that someone created these "moves", put this on the web and there are some guys that are doing this to women because of it. That's an unfortunate fact. GT, do you actually think it would be f@cking hilarious if someone did this to you?? If some guy did this to me, he'd be in the hospital, bleeding profusely from having his dick severed from his body and ground up in the garbage disposal so that he would never do that to anyone else and I'd be gladly sitting in jail. It takes alot for me to get really pissed and this would do it. Think about it from the other side, sweetheart. These "jokes" aren't funny, they're cruel. Extremely cruel.

12-04-2003, 08:12 AM

I remember reading these, there was a huge list of them a while ago......I laughed my ass off but I would never consider actually doing anything close to that.

to those people taking offense.........lighten up

IALuder · 12-04-2003, 08:41 AM

lightin up people.

i would never do this to any female. never, i also believe its cruel to those whom it happens. But some female also like it like that. so, dont hate us for posting it when people in real life enjoy it.

its funny thinking of this playing out in your mind or at least to me it is.

12-04-2003, 07:28 PM

...someone actually sat around thinking about this and then named them... i see...

*pdiggitydogg* · 12-04-2003, 10:26 PM

pirate!
ah...good ol' pirates

*KwikR6* · 12-05-2003, 01:12 AM

Ya know what..if your offened by it..I'm sorry.
But I am not going to delete it...why..I HAD A FEMALE SEND ME IT!!
If SHE thought it was funny..and other females do then I don't see a problem with it.

BlackWolf · 12-05-2003, 07:42 AM

Yes, I am offended by it, I never asked you to delete it, you're entitled to your opinion and I've already said my peace.

*KwikR6* · 12-05-2003, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BlackWolf
Yes, I am offended by it, I never asked you to delete it, you're entitled to your opinion and I've already said my peace.

I completely understand where your coming from. And no I wouldn't never even think of doing something like that to someone...I wouldn't even dream of it.

black95gs-t · 12-06-2003, 08:30 PM

I think the worst part is that SF is right. I know there have to be people out there that enjoy these. They are pretty funny, but in a Jackass kind of way.
J

12-03-2003, 02:59 PM	#1
KwikR6 Mind Blowing Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Cloud 69 Age: 45 Posts: 8,871	10 ways to get dumped Ten ways to get dumped fast! Are you having relationship problems? Want me to kill your girlfriend? I would, if it weren’t for that pesky little thing called “jailtime.” But I’ll make it up to you by putting together a list of ten things you can do to exact revenge on her. The trick is to let her fall into a false sense of security, then you’ve got her right where you want her. And where do women feel the safest? That’s right, in bed. TRY THESE. 10. The Donkey Punch This one is a classic, not to mention an all-time GorillaMask favorite. When you’re doing your woman doggystyle, wait until you’re just about to blow, then hit her in the head. HARD. Her state of unconsciousness will cause her vagina to naturally tighten up. SCORE! 9. The Dirty Sanchez Once again, get your woman in the doggystyle position. You’ll need a more liberal chick for this one, as it requires you to put your finger in her ass for the duration of intercourse. When you’re done, quickly wipe your brownest finger across her top lip. You think you want to get away from your woman after sex now? Wait until she’s got a shitty mustache. 8. The Dutch Oven This is the only non-sexual entry on the list, as I’ve done it to many guys in my day during sleepovers. When you’re laying in bed with your woman, and you’ve got a juicy fart coming… let it rip. Just be sure to cutoff all escape routes the air may have. Then shove your woman’s head under the covers and don’t let her out until she’s pukes. If you’ve got some big balls, tell her she can’t get back in bed until she washes the sheets. 7. The Strawberry Sundae The next time your girl is giving you oral pleasure, try this one out. Just when you’re about to blow, tell her to look up at you because you want to see how beautiful she is. Then punch her in the nose and spooge all over her face. The combination of red and white looks a lot like a strawberry sundae… 6. The Angry Pirate The next time your girl gives you a blowjob, tell her beforehand you don’t want to finish in her mouth. She’s gladly oblige. When you do finish, pull out and force it into her eye. When she’s stumbling around, kick her in the shin as hard as you can. Then run. As you’re leaving, turn around, and if you’ve done everything correctly you should see an angry, one-eyed, peg-legged pirate. 5. The Bucking Bronco Another one to do during doggystyle. While you’re going at it extra hard, grab on to your girlfriend’s breasts and tell her that her sister’s are much firmer. Then try to hold on for eight seconds, rodeo style. This one works extra well if her sister is dead. What? Jesus, that was just wrong. 4. The Gorilla Mask You didn’t think I named my website after a monkey, did you? Take your chick and go through the normal Donkey Punch routine… except this time when she’s knocked out you blow your load all over her face. Shave her pubes, stick them on her grill before the jizz dries, and… there you have a GORILLA MASK. 3. The U-Turn The next time your girl is giving you head, pull out and shoot it up her nostril. Try to get so much force behind it that it comes out the other one. Wow, that takes talent. 2. The Rusty Trombone Next time your girl makes you settle for a handjob, tell her you want The Rusty Trombone. Make her eat your ass and give you a reach-around. HAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT THAT FEELS GOOD. 1. The Beverly Hills Whiffer Does your girlfriend really need to be put in her place? This one is perfect. The next time she lets you do her doggystle, stick your finger in her ass just like you’re performing The Dirty Sanchez. Scrape as much as you can out of there, and when you’re about to blow grab her hair and pull her head back. Stick one finger in each nostril and yell "So, you still think your shit don't stink?!" Remember...these are just a joke. __________________ I JDM. I My Honda The epitome of stupidity is expressed so fluidly with the shity lyric theory you try to spit at me. I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUMMER!!!

12-03-2003, 03:40 PM	#4
BlackWolf La Loba Loca Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Nor Cal Posts: 1,016	These "jokes" are just wrong and I am extremely liberal. Whoever wrote this in their website is one very sick, sick bastard. __________________ Does the noise in my head bother you??

12-03-2003, 11:01 PM	#6
GT40FIED Best...mod...ever Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: At the end of the longest line Age: 43 Posts: 7,451	Bah...lighten up folks. Sure, they're gross...but they're also f@cking hilarious. I think the most disturbing thing is that there's actually names for that shit. __________________ 1984 1/2 Mustang GT350 #842, Faster than you...nuff said Anna Fan Club President/Dictator Someday, in the event that mankind actually figures out what it is that this world actually revoles around, thousands of people are going to be shocked and perplexed that it was not them. Sometimes this includes me. "If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever." - George Orwell Welcome to the new Amerika

12-04-2003, 07:45 AM	#7
BlackWolf La Loba Loca Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Nor Cal Posts: 1,016	Actually the most disturbing part is the fact that someone created these "moves", put this on the web and there are some guys that are doing this to women because of it. That's an unfortunate fact. GT, do you actually think it would be f@cking hilarious if someone did this to you?? If some guy did this to me, he'd be in the hospital, bleeding profusely from having his dick severed from his body and ground up in the garbage disposal so that he would never do that to anyone else and I'd be gladly sitting in jail. It takes alot for me to get really pissed and this would do it. Think about it from the other side, sweetheart. These "jokes" aren't funny, they're cruel. Extremely cruel. __________________ Does the noise in my head bother you??

12-04-2003, 08:41 AM	#9
IALuder Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Des Moines IA Age: 39 Posts: 7,908	lightin up people. i would never do this to any female. never, i also believe its cruel to those whom it happens. But some female also like it like that. so, dont hate us for posting it when people in real life enjoy it. its funny thinking of this playing out in your mind or at least to me it is. __________________ 93 Si H23vtec......soon to be 12lbs 95 Civic EX....automatic DD if you cant dazzle them with your brillance, baffle them with your bullshit.

12-03-2003, 06:40 PM	#5
cashizslick Posts: n/a	Ya, i dont think those are ideas that help develope a loving relationship. . . .

12-04-2003, 08:12 AM	#8
PoleMan14 Posts: n/a	I remember reading these, there was a huge list of them a while ago......I laughed my ass off but I would never consider actually doing anything close to that. to those people taking offense.........lighten up

12-04-2003, 07:28 PM	#10
SeoulJaGirl Posts: n/a	...someone actually sat around thinking about this and then named them... i see...

12-04-2003, 10:26 PM	#11
pdiggitydogg Yahoo Watashi wa kattaze! Join Date: May 2002 Location: Meanwhile, up in The D... Age: 42 Posts: 10,579	pirate! ah...good ol' pirates

12-05-2003, 01:12 AM	#12
KwikR6 Mind Blowing Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Cloud 69 Age: 45 Posts: 8,871	Ya know what..if your offened by it..I'm sorry. But I am not going to delete it...why..I HAD A FEMALE SEND ME IT!! If SHE thought it was funny..and other females do then I don't see a problem with it. __________________ I JDM. I My Honda The epitome of stupidity is expressed so fluidly with the shity lyric theory you try to spit at me. I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUMMER!!!

12-05-2003, 07:42 AM	#13
BlackWolf La Loba Loca Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Nor Cal Posts: 1,016	Yes, I am offended by it, I never asked you to delete it, you're entitled to your opinion and I've already said my peace. __________________ Does the noise in my head bother you??

12-06-2003, 08:30 PM	#15
black95gs-t Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Southern Cali Age: 43 Posts: 728	I think the worst part is that SF is right. I know there have to be people out there that enjoy these. They are pretty funny, but in a Jackass kind of way. J __________________ LOONEY TUNES!!!! "Hearts and minds gents.... And if that doesn't work, two in the heart and one in the mind." "Life sucks.....so drop your pants and let the good times roll!" Mycivicjust8u

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