Girls and Guys

Why are some guys such assholes to girls in relationships...even when/if the girl treats the guy right and everything? What do guys gain out of being that way?

[ShagginJet]

There is a thin line between how nice you can be to a girl. It appears that when you're really really nice to a girl tht she gets board and get's over it. Yet if you're a f*cking asshole things don't last.

It's a thin line. Some girls like to be treated that way. Supposidly it has something to do with the way they were brought up and their relationships with their fathers.

[Kyle]

ya know...i have no fucking idea...a girl that i currently have feelings for is going out with one of my friends right now...and she's always telling me how much of an asshole he is to her and all this crap...yet she still stays with him...and she can never give a reason why she's with him either. Another odd thing is she knows for fact that he cheated on her(with a girl that is her friend) and also recently swung at a girl(happens to be the same girl that he cheated on her with). but thats a whole nother story.

[IALuder]

im never an asshole to the chicks i date. unless shes an asshole to me. then its on like donkey kong.

I treat girls good, but i think i have trust issues so sometimes i close myself off to them and girls have a problem when they don't know how i feel or what i'm thinking

Kyle, I think the reason why she's still with him because she really cares about him and is forgiving. I know that my ex tore my heart to pieces a couple of times but I stayed with him because I would give him the chance to apologize and change. It's hard to leave someone you love and care about...

same reason girls are bitches....

its like the samething all the time. Hey if someones treating you like shit dont be with them, there are a ton of people out there and i'm sure you'll find someone decent. Stop looking on the internet, and meet people through friends and events.

Originally posted by biker's back
Stop looking on the internet, and meet people through friends and events.

Word to the wise . . . . . Mt. Biker is that you?

Originally posted by cashizslick
Word to the wise . . . . . Mt. Biker is that you?

sure is dude! and chicks from the internet are crazy... all of them!

Originally posted by biker's back
sure is dude! and chicks from the internet are crazy... all of them!

Heh, nice.

So where ya been man?

Originally posted by SolPol
Heh, nice.

So where ya been man?

this and that

You've been in this and that?

I've never been there.

How was it?

Originally posted by SolPol
You've been in this and that?

I've never been there.

How was it?

LOL,

I've been doing alot of things and right I'm working full time before I go back to school. bro hit me up on msn.

Alright, what is it?

Originally posted by SolPol
Alright, what is it?

pm'd

[DsBlu01CivEX]

Originally posted by biker's back
sure is dude! and chicks from the internet are crazy... all of them!

Thanks Rob! hehe good to see ya back though

[GT40FIED]

I dunno Kool-Aid...this thread is a bit presumtuous. By no means are all or even most guys assholes to chicks...chicks just seem to seek out these asshole guys like a fuckin sidewinder missle (and the results of said relationships are also much like the result of a sidewinder missle). Besides...it's not like women have to hang around. If they notice that this guy's a dick then they can get up and walk away. Most don't. They use excuses like "I wanna give him a second chance" or "you don't know him like I do" to mask the fact that they're so incredibly insecure they can't stand to be alone. Love is one thing but when a guy treats you like shit it's NOT love. And of course it's hard to walk away from someone you care about...but if you don't then you have absolutely NO right to complain about the way he treats you. I by no means endorse such behavior, but it's time for women to learn their role in such matters. Women ARE NOT innocent bystanders...they have a proactive stance in these settings...leave or stay. They can leave and hope to find something better or hang around and shut the fuck up about the way they're being treated because it's their choice to be there. If a guy's hit you and you're still with him, I have no sympathy for you if you get hit again...if it happens once you leave and if you don't then you deserve what you get since it's a direct result of your own inaction. Sorry if this offends anyone, but that's the way I see it. I don't wanna hear about how bad a guy treats you while you're going home to him every night.

BTW Rob...you're totally correct. I'll venture to say 99% of internet-born relationships involve profoundly disturbed women.

Well...maybe there should be a post about why girls are such assholes to guys...but this one is for why guys are assholes to girls...ok?
And another thing...maybe some girls ARE afraid of being alone...and maybe some girls ARE more forgiving than others...but that is just something that probably cannot be helped because they want to love and be loved. Sure, if a guy is acting stupid towards a girl and he apologizes for it, then yes, most women will forgive. You just don't seem to carry the characteristic of being forgiving...so I don't think that you should just label situations as womens' fault because they gave their hearts and decided to be forgiving. You ever heard of forgiveness?? And yes, when guy acts stupid, and apologizes for it...and acts stupid again...yes it is his fault. When people apologize for the things they do, they're given a second chance and if they screw it up...then it's THEIR fault.

[GT40FIED]

Well...there's a difference between acting stupid and acting cruel. Stupid is when you mention a gf's embarrassing moment in front of friends or soemthing of the like. But if you're just plain mean and a girl hangs around then no, I don't feel for her at all. I am actually quite forgiving...within limits. If the offense is unintentional or small (which is, of course, a matter of opinion) then I don't even worry about it. No one wants to be alone and of course everyone wants to love and be loved...you just have to put a price on what you're willing to do to have that. So, in summary, if you cheat or act like a total cock smuggler on purpose, then you don't get forgiven. If you get beat up and hang around in the name of "fogiveness" or "love", then you deserve what you get. You've got to draw a line somewhere.

I agree....I wouldn't expect ANY girl to be forgiving if he cheats or if he beats on her...so yes there is a fine line. Being cruel, I can say, can be forgiving at a point. It all depends on the girl and what she's dealing with I guess. I know my limits....

Ok, so I had a very close friend who kept going back to a total asshole guy.....nobody ever understood it. I still don't.

However she did have a few issues. First and foremost, she never was happy alone, she always needed and consequently had a b/f. Second, I think she was, like many girls, always in search of a project. She enjoyed the challenge of trying to change a guy who was, by all others, considered unchangeable. She seemed to thrive on the challenge of changing a guy. He "had a good heart" and never "meant anything bad" and "he loves me" yadda yadda yadda. He was just a f*cking *sshole who didn't give a rat's *ss about her.....but she was something in him (a challenge....) and thought she loved him. She loved him about as much as a dolphin loves the peak of Mount Everest, but she "loved" him.....oh yeah....lots of "love" up in the house, but no love.

Some guys are *ssholes. Some girls are b*tches. To err is human, to not forgive a mistake is *sshole/b*tch in and of itself. However to put up with a mistake more than once is just begging for trouble.....

My general experience, though, is that nice guys DO finish last. I've heard it many times, from women especially, and now believe it to be too true. Girls are too confused to know what they want, they go for the "bad boy" and the challenge while oft complaining romance is dead and they can't find love......love and romance aren't in the "bad boy" and the challenge, they're in the nice guy who treats you how you want. I've known soooooo many girls who totally use the f*ck out of nice guys and treat them like such sh*t that I have no comprehension of why the guys stuck around (probably because the girls were hot....and guys like that, well, don't get the action often...) and they would seriously sit around and complain there aren't any nice guys around.....WTF?????? *SMACK* Be a woman.

Ok, I'm just ranting now......



b

[GT40FIED]

This is the problem with women...if guys want a project, we buy a car. If a woman wants a project she dates a guy.

I guess...

[ShagginJet]

Originally posted by GT40FIED
This is the problem with women...if guys want a project, we buy a car. If a woman wants a project she dates a guy.

PWNED!!

I know that I don't get a guy to change him as a project...

[ShagginJet]

^ But a lot of people do.

Originally posted by Kool-Aid
I know that I don't get a guy to change him as a project...

That's one of the biggest differences between a girl and a woman.
A woman knows what she wants in a man and isn't afraid to go after it. A girl just *thinks* she knows what she wants, but really is confused and usually goes for the a-hole boy and a project rather than the man who'll truly provide for her needs.

But your question must also be met with "why are so many girls b*tches to nice guys?".....because that has fascinated me for a while. It seems to me the nice guys are run over by b*tches, which has the chance of hardening them before they meet a good woman.

Relationships are weird......

b

You know what I honestly think...I think that when guys and girls get hurt...they try to put up their "walls" so that when the next john or jane comes along they won't get hurt. They think that they'll get hurt again and so they act like assholes or bitches as a way to protect themselves...whether the guy or girl was really good or not. I hope this makes sense. But in my case...my ex claimed to have all these bad relationships...so I made a tremendous efforts to be the girls he's never had...done everything for him...but yet he still did me dirty...
Now why is that?!?! I think that since he's had shitty relationship...he may have not been able to know how to act or communicate what he really feels...I hope that makes sense...

I knew guys who were such *ssholes as kids that I don't see any way they'd be anything but *ssholes as adults.

Some people definitely do harden themselves or put up walls to prevent being hurt in the future. Such walls can be very difficult to overcome, however previously bad relationships can just be a convenient excuse. Then there's always the other way of looking at it....maybe they were so bad because of him? One never knows....

b

Im beginning to believe that his bad relationships were due to him...but I wonder...what ever happens to those kinds of people? Who go around hurting people like that??