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Old 03-17-2003, 03:27 PM   #1
mt.biker
 
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A Good Monday Afternoon Chuckle......

DILBERT'S RULES

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow is not looking good either.

2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make
as they go flying by.

3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without
it.

4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.


5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there
the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.

6. I don't have an attitude problem; you have a perception problem.

7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I
thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

8. My reality check bounced.

9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.


10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut
butter.

12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy
and taste good with ketchup.

13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

14. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level,
then beat you with experience.

15. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the
butt.

16. Don't be irreplaceable -- if you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.

17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of
the month than you did before.

18. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to
get.

19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a
clipboard.

20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing
worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

21. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

22. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

23. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

24. Following the rules will not get the job done.

25. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more
easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger
handle this?"
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Old 03-17-2003, 05:13 PM   #2
SolPol
 
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Dilbert rules

By the way, that quote of yours goes, "All that it takes for evil to triumph in this world is for ENOUGH good men to do nothing."
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Old 03-19-2003, 11:13 AM   #3
SolPol
 
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Who are the ladies man?
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Old 03-19-2003, 11:16 AM   #4
mt.biker
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by SolPol
Who are the ladies man?


they're two canadian girls who were washing cars the other day with this nice weather we're having up here just thought I would share....
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Old 03-19-2003, 11:31 AM   #5
msvtec14
 
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22. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.


That's me with everything. It's all about grace under pressure. I won't do something until I have to.
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Old 03-19-2003, 11:41 AM   #6
SolPol
 
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That's when I do my best work
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Old 03-19-2003, 11:46 AM   #7
msvtec14
 
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Yeah seriously. Take Christmas shopping for example. I didn't do mine until the 23rd and a little on the 24th. I could be smart and do it in November like a lot of people do but then I worry that by Christmas some new and cooler stuff will have come out and that my presents will suck. Plus, I just hate going to the mall during that time of year. So I wait. But it's good because I have no other choice. I have to do it. I can't just wait until after Christmas because I don't feel like going to the mall.
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Old 03-19-2003, 11:51 AM   #8
94_AcCoRd_EX
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Haha, that's a funny list
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Old 03-19-2003, 12:40 PM   #9
SolPol
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by msvtec14
Yeah seriously. Take Christmas shopping for example. I didn't do mine until the 23rd and a little on the 24th. I could be smart and do it in November like a lot of people do but then I worry that by Christmas some new and cooler stuff will have come out and that my presents will suck. Plus, I just hate going to the mall during that time of year. So I wait. But it's good because I have no other choice. I have to do it. I can't just wait until after Christmas because I don't feel like going to the mall.


Oh definitely, I never do mine before the 23rd. When you go then, you do your great thinking. I hate trying to find gifts for people because I have a hard time picking things out for them. I tell ya though, when you go on the 23rd or 24th all of a sudden I'm the greatest gift picker ever. The pressure always helps
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Old 03-19-2003, 12:53 PM   #10
DjBert
 
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i second that, I've even gone to my local shop on christmas day to get a card before (they actually used to open for 2 hours at lunch time!)
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Old 03-19-2003, 02:04 PM   #11
msvtec14
 
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Good. Now I know that I am not the only one. I just get REALLY pissed off though when I go and do the shopping because people are stupid and they'll just stand around and socialize or talk on their cell phones making it hard to people to get by them. I make it more than clear that they are stupid when that happens because it's just rude.
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Old 03-19-2003, 02:10 PM   #12
SolPol
 
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Wow. Sounds just like what I do in the mall. I can't stand stupid people. And I do let them know about it.
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Old 03-19-2003, 02:30 PM   #13
msvtec14
 
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I love to shop but the mall is one of my least favorite places to be. I hate people that don't have proper manners and it seems like all the little dirt bags just hang out there 24/7.
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