love/religion

first of all...i don't know why i feel like writing this...either i'm venting....or want to enlighten ya'll....or am just proud and happy for what i have.
Anyways...In the beginning of my junior year of high school I met this girl and we first talked and hung out at the county fair. She came to my school as a transfer at the very end of the previous year and never really talked. Anyways we started talking a lot and eventually I could tell I was falling for her. She was/is one of the prettiest girls in the school and everyone liked her. She never did anything previous to me with a guy in our school to the point where people were questioning her about being a lesbian ha. I took the challenge upon myself. Once we started talkin and realized we liked one another...well....it was different i was like well i could come over this and that...but there was always for not being able to...After our first kiss..i found out why...She was born in Europe and she's muslim. It's against the religion to do stuff w/ someone outside of it. She told me it'd be hard and thats why she hasn't pursued anyone. She told me it won't work and I took it upon myself to make it work. The first year...she literally picked me up and we'd hang out at my dads house(divorced) cause he was gone at work or we'd park and just talk and do whatev. The first year had it's ups and downs. She went back to Europe for a month and did stuff with someone, while I also did stuff with someone....all because she didn't leave with us on good terms. So since Last august or so...it's been anything since...we've come such a far way and I've learned so much about myself, her and her religion. We love each other now and she's going to be graduating. I just turned 19 she's turning 18 soon. We talk about the future and it's hard for both of us, cause we really believe we're meant to be.....I'm really in love..and so is she...but she doesn't know how we could ever move on beyond high school love because of her parents. They're always sayin don't make mistakes and she's been told about such things for a long long time. She's been in the states since she was 4. She can't think about telling her parents anything even though she finds herself very unhappy and can't see herself marrying someone of her own religion and live the life. I was wondering I guess does anyone know of anyone in similar situations who has gone against the family....or broke it to them and let'em know how happy they are. We're so happy together and I can see us going very far...I can picture everything, but I can't have high school love forever and sneaking around..I tell her we can't worry about it and just need to cherish the time we have together. All i think is...she really..has grown up like everyone for the most part and I can't imagine a mother not wanting her beatiful daughter to go on and live a life that her family wants her to live if it's not what she wants. I imagine they want her to live at home and work in their family restraunt and take it over, but thats not what she wants. From the beginning when i realized how special she was to me, i've always said I'll do whatever it takes..and I plan on doing this. I can't imagine me stopping a relationship that has been so good to the both of us because of her parents and/or religion, but never would I ask her to leave her family to be with me it's just so hard to comprehend how a family could make their daughter lead a life or be someone she really isn't and doesn't want to be, but eventually does because she fears for herself because of what she thinks her family will do or eventually react to the news....
Sorry for babbling...i just feel pretty strongly about doing and becoming everything you want. She's almost 18 and there's so much time ahead of her and for myself....and I just can't imagine allowing her to do something and lead a life that isn't her own.

Most likely her parents will disown her if she marries against their will. I know thats really harsh and you probably dont want to hear it, but thats what happens. They no longer have a daughter once she marries outside of their culture.

I've seen it happen with an older couple I know and some 5-7 years later the parents are just starting to talk with them. If the two of you are really in love then religion wont be teh stopping factor, but she might not be willing to give up her parents for you. Just remember, you might be willing to bend over backwards for her, but is she willing to do the same?

[Whiteclipse99]

My Big Fat Greek Wedding came to mind when I first read this post. Although the situations are different, they are both similar in a way. If anyone has ever seen this movie, they will understand what I'm talking about. That's a tough situation your in, and although I can't completely relate to your situation, I just want to say that while this relationship feels right at the time and your in love, you have a long life ahead of you and things may change. You may have found "the one" and that's awesome, but you don't want to miss out on other opportunities of love in life because your still young. You may or may not be able to change her families views of the relationship, but you don't want to keep fighting a battle that will never be won.

Originally posted by Whiteclipse99
My Big Fat Greek Wedding came to mind when I first read this post. Although the situations are different, they are both similar in a way. If anyone has ever seen this movie, they will understand what I'm talking about. That's a tough situation your in, and although I can't completely relate to your situation, I just want to say that while this relationship feels right at the time and your in love, you have a long life ahead of you and things may change. You may have found "the one" and that's awesome, but you don't want to miss out on other opportunities of love in life because your still young. You may or may not be able to change her families views of the relationship, but you don't want to keep fighting a battle that will never be won.

Wow that's even worse then mine... what I got out of that was "break up if the going is tough" sounds like a bad way to deal with relationships.

Dude work it out if its worth it to you, dont get me wrong with my other post I think if you feel shes teh one and she feels the same way forget teh parents and work things out among yourselves.

I have seen my big fat greek wedding with my girlfriend and thats how we are....i couldnt sum it up any differently it's the way we both feel. I understand both of the replies thus far...believe me I've sat here wondering is it worth it...but then I think why give up now who knows what may happen. And I understand how the parents may react, and thats the thing...in no way will i ever give her a deadline or say now or never cause it wouldn't be the easiest thing to do, that being going against your parents will. Yes i'm young, but I can't deny this love in search of a greater one, I just can't see myself giving into something I don't see eye to eye with. I think to myself why'd they move here and bring the family here, in search of a better life, a happier life. I see their daughter finding that...or reaching out to get outta the situation and to disallow her to doesn't make sense. Just like the movie they do own the family restraunt. That movie was like whoa is this serious. It's the inspiration for me lol. I don't know.....she just called me and told me that her parents got the phone bill and her cell phone bill and my # was all over it for thousands of minutes and her mom started crying and shit....I think her mom knows and doesn't want to admit to it.....i think it will all slowly unfold from here and maybe it will get to the point where i have to be on the outs...I dread the day cause I won't know what to do....I wouldn't be able to just find another girl...w/o comparing her to the last. I may be single for life after this one....if i don't get married lol.....tks guys....just babblin...venting...actually there's more of a topic here then....just me and my girlfriend..i'm sure there's a lot of others who go through it too....

Originally posted by zm_dawg
I have seen my big fat greek wedding with my girlfriend and thats how we are....i couldnt sum it up any differently it's the way we both feel. I understand both of the replies thus far...believe me I've sat here wondering is it worth it...but then I think why give up now who knows what may happen. And I understand how the parents may react, and thats the thing...in no way will i ever give her a deadline or say now or never cause it wouldn't be the easiest thing to do, that being going against your parents will. Yes i'm young, but I can't deny this love in search of a greater one, I just can't see myself giving into something I don't see eye to eye with. I think to myself why'd they move here and bring the family here, in search of a better life, a happier life. I see their daughter finding that...or reaching out to get outta the situation and to disallow her to doesn't make sense. Just like the movie they do own the family restraunt. That movie was like whoa is this serious. It's the inspiration for me lol. I don't know.....she just called me and told me that her parents got the phone bill and her cell phone bill and my # was all over it for thousands of minutes and her mom started crying and shit....I think her mom knows and doesn't want to admit to it.....i think it will all slowly unfold from here and maybe it will get to the point where i have to be on the outs...I dread the day cause I won't know what to do....I wouldn't be able to just find another girl...w/o comparing her to the last. I may be single for life after this one....if i don't get married lol.....tks guys....just babblin...venting...actually there's more of a topic here then....just me and my girlfriend..i'm sure there's a lot of others who go through it too....

Considering all this new information you've shared with us, why dont you go and meet the parents? I know that might scare the shit out of you but its the right thing to do. If you are truly in love with this girl or for that matter any girl you've been seeing for a while the right thing to do is intro yourself to her parents. Its the way I've been raised so its always soemthing that I do but maybe in your case you haven't been raised that way.

I would figure out the best way to meet her parents and possibly after a few get togethers they will see you in a different light. They might just really be scared that their daughter will marry the wrong man who doesn't love her. Go and prove them otherwise, just remember in these cases things never happen over night. best of luck mate, keep us informed

yes..i have never met her parents I believe her mother has seen a pictorial of me or something...and it's also come up where her mom has asked who's zach...They own the local family restraunt and I don't know if someone has ever mentioned anything or not. The thought of me meeting her parents, is scary, but i'm one that doesn't live in fear...i'm not going to not do something cause of similar situations going bad. She can't imagine me doing that...I guess if that's what had to be done...i'd definately do it...but in no way do i think my girlfriend is ready to escort me into the home. I've been there...had to escape out once when they came home...only been there a handful of times....cause I always resorted to my place, the safer place.....yadadydadydad

[Leets]

... I just believe this world would be a much better place if it weren't for the ignorant ideals that religion causes. Just think of all the wars that have been fought in the name of "God". How many people have been segregated and punished because of religion. Honestly, if it weren't for religion, it might actually be possible for people in this world to get along.

... just my .02

Originally posted by Leets
... I just believe this world would be a much better place if it weren't for the ignorant ideals that religion causes. Just think of all the wars that have been fought in the name of "God". How many people have been segregated and punished because of religion. Honestly, if it weren't for religion, it might actually be possible for people in this world to get along.

... just my .02

thats funny...

ever think that either way people would fight? I think we just use the religion card to make it easier on our minds to fight.

[DsBlu01CivEX]

ah....well....That was a lot of reading. My Big Fat Greek Wedding was in my head the entire time as well. If you truely are into this girl and she has the exact same feelings for you as you do for her than I think she needs to say to her parents that at this point in time she's very interested in you, have them meet and get to know you...and tell them basically everything that she wants in life. She can't live in fear of her family her entire life. Family means a lot to people but ultimately if that is what is going to stop her from being truely happy with the guy that she loves, then she is going to grow to resent them for what they did to her. And by that point it's going to seem sooooooo not worth it cuz she's gonna be miserable with the family that she decided to live in fear of, rather than be an independent woman and tell them what she wants. Every person has the right, no matter where they are at in the world, to choose whatever religion they want to follow. Who's to say that you have to follow in your parents footsteps? Just because they choose to be muslim, doesn't mean that she has to be. That is a human right everyone has....to make up their minds for themselves. Dude I say stick with her and meet her parents if you feel that strongly about her. Ultimately it's her decision though...just don't pressure her nor forget that you are only 18 and you do have a long life ahead of you and you never know what curve ball is gonna be thrown at ya.

[Whiteclipse99]

Originally posted by mt.biker
Wow that's even worse then mine... what I got out of that was "break up if the going is tough" sounds like a bad way to deal with relationships.

Dude work it out if its worth it to you, dont get me wrong with my other post I think if you feel shes teh one and she feels the same way forget teh parents and work things out among yourselves.

Thanks Rob. ......Anyway, take it as you want to, but the message I was trying to relay is that while still so young you have a long life ahead of you and at that age you still haven't experienced all life has to offer. I was in love when I was in high school with a guy I really could see myself spending the rest of my life with, but over time we both changed and I found that if I were still with him I would be missing out on other opportunities. I know this doesn't deal with the religion part of the situation, but it's my insight on the love part.

If you feel, zm_dawg, that it's worth it in your mind and heart, then you should follow that.

I actually really don't know what to say right now....just thought it's my time to reply...I know i'm not going to just be like we're done i can't do this....cause i can....I'll do what it takes she means the world. I don't think I could let her break up or tell me we can't keep dating because of this....she deserves the world and if she continues how they want her to she won't get it. It'll all keep going and hopefully eventually work out...I'd accept not being with her if I knew she was in return happy..but she wouldn't be happy. It'll be a long time....i'll do what it takes....life is life...i mean if she says somethin and they give her the boot...she can definately stay with me and my dad...or i wouldn't hesitate to get our own place....or whatever it takes....you can do anything in life...really...and if i can make one wonderful girl happier then she would've been well...i've accomplished something...this is happening to us for a reason....i don't know....blah blah.....

... i dont have that much experience with that type of thing, but ive read all of those posts and here is what i think. Meet her parents, if they dont like you, try to make them like you. If that dosent work after a good bit of trying and if you are both willing SCREW em. They can't control your lives so just dont worry about it. But thats just what i think so you know im just someone you will never meet that is over the internet. And as you put it you aren't giving us all of the details.

-jay

zm-dawg wow, I can tell you have true love for this girl.You are very comitted to staying with her for anything and I give you lots of respect for that.I was born in a country that the 2nd largest religion was Islam.I can say that here in America, families that are Muslim aren't as strict to laws/religions, thats because their coming into a country that holds mainly different beliefs and its hard to incorporate those here.I'm not going to say her family is not strict, but she was raised different...in a different country, different beliefs, and so forth, but I believe that the two of you could be together in the very future.You are a very strong person for staying with her and with everything that has changed through out the world.I can tell you this its not easy.But I know that you are a respectable preson and her family should admire that.But one thing, don't rush your relationship.And keeping this a secret WON'T be the best choice.Her family wants the best for her in the future even though the both of you may not think so, her parents were raised differently and they are raising her in a place for her to prosper and they are doing their best.So don't lie to make things work, this is dishonesty and thats the last thing they want from someone especailly if you care for their daughter.Go by her families restaurant, but don't go as a date with her.Take some of your buddies and go have something to eat.And hopefully she will introduce you to her father.The father is the key thing here.I can understand how you would be scared to meet the parents or her dad, but you have to know its coming if you want this to work.Be yourself, be truthful, respectful, and don't be too scared I wish you all the best for the both of you.
I can say that religion/nationality/race truly do come hard in some relationships, but somehow you can over pass this and I'm glad you see through it, I wish we all could!!!!!

[ebpda9]

hdagrl: were were you born ? i'm thinking about turkey or somewhere around there.

Eastern part of Africa.

Well the other day we almost stopped doing stuff...and it wasn't that we wanted to but she just felt so much pressure and didn't think she could go on lying and sneaking around...and her mom was talkin about marriage and sayin how the worst thing she could do was be with an american....we talked for hours and I just send her the message I wanted to..That in no way would I ever intend to come in between her family or religion and in the end it should be a top priority. Then we talked and realized we can't go from what we have to nothing no seeing each other or talking but cause we are perfect. I basically said we can't live for the f uture but have to realize we're here now together and whatever happens happens. It was almost like I would have felt like I failed if I didn't talk to her and tell her everything again...I can't just give in. The longer we are together and live in the present the more she'll understand how much I love her and I only want the best. If at anytime she feels she has to stop because she feels guilty...I'd have to respect that...she was tryin to tell me to move on, but I couldn't comprehend us not doing stuff when everything is going so perfect...I couldn't move on I'd be in love with her for a very long time...hndagrl I thank you for all the comliments, but it really comes down to who I am and I don't just give up on something like this that means so much to me. I truly want the best for her in life....and I think the more she knows that I do love her and care for her....the more i don't know. I don't say everything I do to her like in an attempt to brainwash her into being with me...I respect her and the person she is and she wouldn't be that person if it wasn't for her family and religion...Thinks change..I mean if she ever found her family to fail or her religion...I'll be here for her no matter what...as will my parents...my dad loves her...my mom doesn't really know her cause now I'm living with my dad....i just don't wnat her to live unhappy to make her parents happy....isn't worth it at the end of our lives to go unfulfilled. The times she is happiest most is when she's with me...and i can't just let her stop doing stuff cause she thinks it'll make homelife easier....cause I know she'd be thinking about us...and it'd be hard if we stopped and then they failed her and came back...cause I'd have the thought of what if it happens again...all is well now I'll see her tonight and it'll be the best feeling I'll have this week....tks for everything

...deep

Actually, I am Muslim too (long story). Marriages with a member of other religion are allowed, they just are said to be avoided of the female is Muslim.

That's a sad story. If I had a non-Muslim girlfriend, my parents wouldn't be too happy with it, but they wouldn't try to stop it, because my uncle was Muslim and he married a Orthodox woman (she's very nice). They live in Denmark now.

I believe that you should meet her parents, tell them the situation, show them that you're not the stereotype (the stereotype is that Americans are dumb as f*ck, unclean, and some other gruesome things).

Good luck!

crazy been awhile since a post....i can say...glad to hear someone in the same....religion or what not.....it's just a crazy situation, I can't back out now I feel I love her and she feels the same....we just take one day at a time and maybe one day she'll call or stop by and say they know and from there we'll do what it takes. Tonight we talked a bit and she said she wasn't going to wait years and years...we also talked about college and she said she's always been told she couldn't do what she wants...this and that....they own a restraunt and what not and they expect her to carry it on....that isn't what she's about....she's different and I think if they don't realize that they may eventually force her out when she just wnats them to understand.

Well the only thing you can do is show her how much you love her and stay at her side through thick and thin. what you are doing is very respectable, I just hope neither one of you hurts eachother even more over this... but then again this is beyond a clean break up.

Keep us informed...
Rob

[nonovurbizniz]

I give this advice warely... If you discontinue your relations ship you'll probobly regret it because it seems so real now and the future seems like it'll all work out... however in reality this probobly isn't the case... Mixed marrages are hard enough without pressure from one of the families... just the cultural differences are enough to SEVERELY impact a relationship... things you see as clear may seem barbaric to her and vice versus.

If her family are hardcore muslims... you risk ruining her life. period.. noone wants to be seperated from their parents forever... sure it happens and people live through it but it's not fun by any stretch...Plus what if (I know it doesn't seem possible) one of or both of you change (it does happen) and you don't find yourselves happy together... she's left with no family and no you... that's not really fair. If they're hardcore muslim she's ruined FOREVER once an american has defowled her.

I would definetly meet the parents... you'd be amazed how reasonable people are CAPABLE of being. However if you're amazed at how UNaccepting they are you really need to think of her life as a whole...

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MORE THE 4-5 TIMES THE AMOUNT OF YEARS YOU'VE BEEN ALIVE SO FAR.

that's a LONG LONG LONG time and people and feelings DO NOT last as long as they seem they will.

If SHE geniunely wants to live a different life than the one her parents are prepared let her live then you may as well go for it because she'll be happier in the long run...

remember though... with time comes change... and no matter how strong you feel about something right now it could pull a 180 tomorrow much less 60 years down the road.

Tread lightly.

hey, whats up y'all. well, let me first start off as saying that i am a practicing muslim. islamically we are allowed to mary people who are jewish or chirstian due to the fact that we all beleive in the god of abraham (we clal jews and christians "ehlam el kitab" or people of the book). As for your situation, well, i just got out of something similar. well, a few months ago my friend (who is hindu) is throwing a diwali party. i go and i meet her freind there. We start talking and we hit it off big time. Eventually, i find out she's sikh. Well, we start talking and we just straight up fall for each other. I asked her how her parents were (like with the strictness and all) and she said they were chill. now, heres where where we're from comes into play. Im a muslim from Pakistan and Afghanistan. Shes a sikh from India. If you know anything about global politics, its not the healthiest mix. We end up hookin up and i can honestly say that it was a match made in heaven. Like, our personalities completely fit into place and, to be honest, it seemed like we both loved eahc other very deeply. Now, her parents are insane. Now, most indian and pakistani parents dont want their kids going out with guys but her parents didnt want her going out period. like, i would only see her after school on thursdays and tuesdays cause we both finished early. so i would go to the other end of montreal on those days just to spend a few hours with her. it was a pain, but she was mosdefinitely worth it. A few weeks back i go to see her after we havent seen each other for like a week and a half (she was on march break and she couldnt really get out of the house {rather, she didnt really try}) and when i see her she says those lovely words, "we need to talk". she tells me that she cant really go on lying to her parents about us etc etc and we split up. i honestly felt my heart drop to the ground that moment. so we broke up, and even though this happenned like a month ago i still havent really gotten over it. well, thats my sob story. one of the things that attracted me to her ( just the fact that she was a good girl) ended up being the thing that did me in. well, im not trying to demotivate u juss been thinkin bout this alot today and this was oppertunity to vent. so neways, all im telling you is this. if you really do love her, fight till u have nothing left in you man. cause if you dont, you will regret it. if it doesnt work out at leats u can say " i did all i could" if u think about it in 5 years. so take care, good luck.
peace, salamz.

tks man....first of all let me say....sorry to hear how your situation went. This has been a long long road for me. It all started out something to fill the void during those high school years and now i've seen her go through half of her high school years. It all started off as a challenge the new, most beautiful girl....and i fell in love. I really take it as it goes.....some nights i'll get on the phone and she'll be all like my mom said this and that why are we still doing this and we stop and talk and realize what we are for each other. I can't give up because her mom sees the same number on the phone bill over and over....in 2 months she graduates and is free for herself....literally in the US of A your free and responsible for your lonesome. I just gotta be there and share my feelings and thoughts and someday we'll see how it all goes over. Tks again though

s'all good man, and again, best of luck with this. like i said, juss keep ur head up and stay strong, because its definiely going to take that

[02_Si]

Originally posted by zm_dawg
first of all...i don't know why i feel like writing this...either i'm venting....or want to enlighten ya'll....or am just proud and happy for what i have.
Anyways...In the beginning of my junior year of high school I met this girl and we first talked and hung out at the county fair. She came to my school as a transfer at the very end of the previous year and never really talked. Anyways we started talking a lot and eventually I could tell I was falling for her. She was/is one of the prettiest girls in the school and everyone liked her. She never did anything previous to me with a guy in our school to the point where people were questioning her about being a lesbian ha. I took the challenge upon myself. Once we started talkin and realized we liked one another...well....it was different i was like well i could come over this and that...but there was always for not being able to...After our first kiss..i found out why...She was born in Europe and she's muslim. It's against the religion to do stuff w/ someone outside of it. She told me it'd be hard and thats why she hasn't pursued anyone. She told me it won't work and I took it upon myself to make it work. The first year...she literally picked me up and we'd hang out at my dads house(divorced) cause he was gone at work or we'd park and just talk and do whatev. The first year had it's ups and downs. She went back to Europe for a month and did stuff with someone, while I also did stuff with someone....all because she didn't leave with us on good terms. So since Last august or so...it's been anything since...we've come such a far way and I've learned so much about myself, her and her religion. We love each other now and she's going to be graduating. I just turned 19 she's turning 18 soon. We talk about the future and it's hard for both of us, cause we really believe we're meant to be.....I'm really in love..and so is she...but she doesn't know how we could ever move on beyond high school love because of her parents. They're always sayin don't make mistakes and she's been told about such things for a long long time. She's been in the states since she was 4. She can't think about telling her parents anything even though she finds herself very unhappy and can't see herself marrying someone of her own religion and live the life. I was wondering I guess does anyone know of anyone in similar situations who has gone against the family....or broke it to them and let'em know how happy they are. We're so happy together and I can see us going very far...I can picture everything, but I can't have high school love forever and sneaking around..I tell her we can't worry about it and just need to cherish the time we have together. All i think is...she really..has grown up like everyone for the most part and I can't imagine a mother not wanting her beatiful daughter to go on and live a life that her family wants her to live if it's not what she wants. I imagine they want her to live at home and work in their family restraunt and take it over, but thats not what she wants. From the beginning when i realized how special she was to me, i've always said I'll do whatever it takes..and I plan on doing this. I can't imagine me stopping a relationship that has been so good to the both of us because of her parents and/or religion, but never would I ask her to leave her family to be with me it's just so hard to comprehend how a family could make their daughter lead a life or be someone she really isn't and doesn't want to be, but eventually does because she fears for herself because of what she thinks her family will do or eventually react to the news....
Sorry for babbling...i just feel pretty strongly about doing and becoming everything you want. She's almost 18 and there's so much time ahead of her and for myself....and I just can't imagine allowing her to do something and lead a life that isn't her own.

Hmmm... love... religion... sounds confusing... BUT... not that confusing. What about you ZM DAWG, what religion are you? If you're Christian, then I wouldn't advise being with someone who is not. I am not saying not to love her, or that it will be easy. I'm sure she is a really good person and probably deserves the best. HOWEVER, without God in someone's life, then all the good they've done and all the good things they deserve are a lie. The Lord should be your # 1 PRIORITY in life -- No excuses. I've known God my whole life and I wouldn't even think of dating someone who didn't have a place with HIM. The hardest thing in the world to do is to preach.. especially to people who are bias. So I'll spare you as much I can. But, I do think religion and love go hand in hand. It's a whole lot easier to bring someone away from God than it is to bring someone to Him. Trust me, I know. Z-DAWG, if you're a Christian and you really believe in God, then think about what you're children are going to grow up believing. As it says in the bible, it's your responsibility to teach your kids about God and about Christ. Withougt Christ, there is no salvation. And without God, there is no meaning. At least that's how it is for me. It may not be for your or her religion, but when the time comes, that won't matter. The only thing that will matter is what you did in life with God thru Christ. That's something you can't overlook. If it were me in your situation, I'd talk to her about it, explain how you feel... Don't ask her to change, leave that to her. You both might part from one another and it might be hard as hell to keep your feelings in check, but the thought that God has something better for you is more than enough to keep going. It says in scripture in the book of Job "will you accept good things from the Lord and not troubles?" Meaning, life is hard, but there are rewards for following God as well as hard times. Just because hard times are happening, doesn't mean it isn't good. Man, I feel like I'm babbling... sorry.. just wanted to voice my opinion. Good luck for you, man.

Originally posted by 02_Si
Hmmm... love... religion... sounds confusing... BUT... not that confusing. What about you ZM DAWG, what religion are you? If you're Christian, then I wouldn't advise being with someone who is not. I am not saying not to love her, or that it will be easy. I'm sure she is a really good person and probably deserves the best. HOWEVER, without God in someone's life, then all the good they've done and all the good things they deserve are a lie. The Lord should be your # 1 PRIORITY in life -- No excuses. I've known God my whole life and I wouldn't even think of dating someone who didn't have a place with HIM. The hardest thing in the world to do is to preach.. especially to people who are bias. So I'll spare you as much I can. But, I do think religion and love go hand in hand. It's a whole lot easier to bring someone away from God than it is to bring someone to Him. Trust me, I know. Z-DAWG, if you're a Christian and you really believe in God, then think about what you're children are going to grow up believing. As it says in the bible, it's your responsibility to teach your kids about God and about Christ. Withougt Christ, there is no salvation. And without God, there is no meaning. At least that's how it is for me. It may not be for your or her religion, but when the time comes, that won't matter. The only thing that will matter is what you did in life with God thru Christ. That's something you can't overlook. If it were me in your situation, I'd talk to her about it, explain how you feel... Don't ask her to change, leave that to her. You both might part from one another and it might be hard as hell to keep your feelings in check, but the thought that God has something better for you is more than enough to keep going. It says in scripture in the book of Job "will you accept good things from the Lord and not troubles?" Meaning, life is hard, but there are rewards for following God as well as hard times. Just because hard times are happening, doesn't mean it isn't good. Man, I feel like I'm babbling... sorry.. just wanted to voice my opinion. Good luck for you, man.

AMEN TO THAT!

I really don't have a clue what to say....i went through private school...for 6 or so years....until i was kicked out or forced out...and i got confirmed and haven't gone to church since. Am I religious.....i know you don't have to go to church to believe in God or Christ. but after meeting such a wonderful person and hear their points and views from another perspective you begin to question a lot of things and aspects on life.....I've read a lot of Islam articles and stuff and it's really intriguing...why'd i go to that private school....not because thats what i wanted to do but because that's what was the right thing to do for my family. Why do you believe in what you do....just to believe in something or because you have studied and realized this is what you want at an age that you can actually understand the teachings at. Religion isn't something that you should be born into......this is so crazy.....i've been through the bible....yeah age 6-12...and where'd it get me....i can prolly say i believe in god and hopefully everything happens for a reason....but why do i know who god is...cause i went to a different school and thats all that was pumped into me....now i'm older.....maybe that isn't exactly what i need...i really don't want bible passages preached on me in a honda message board.

salaamz again. well, i just wanted to point something out. 02_si, you seem to imply that muslims don't have god in their life. as a practicing muslim, i take great offence to this. before you go labelling who has god in their life (which is by the way COMPLETELY against every major religion) you should research into it. You should research into the fact that both muslims and christians beleive in the god of abraham. You should research the fact that Isa alais salaam (or Jesus Christ if you prefer) is considerred to be a phophet of allah in islam and therefor given amongst the highest status that a man can acheive. I don't mean to vent but im sick and tired of people making assumptions on my religion without knowing anything about it, besides what they saw on CNN last night.
salaamz

[02_Si]

point taken... I didn't want to offend anyone, rather just point out that when two people are together that have different religious beliefs, they might want to think about the conflict that this may cause later down the road. The most obvious and common, of course, is their children. What religion will they grow up to believe and what customs and holidays will they celebrate? This might seem small to some, but to others this may be a big issue. Also, you're exactly right what you said in your post, people SHOULD look into a religion before judging. And when you're going to be with someone who is not of the same religion, one should make research of the other's religion in order to decide if their beliefs coincide with their own. The moral of my post is to simply state a fact: Without God, life is empty. And if being Muslim, or being Christian, or being Catholic leads you to God, thru Christ, then go for it.

but your moral is only true because you believe in god and are religious......there's millions of people that don't and they could be leading the greatest lives of anyone.....but then you who believes w/o god life is empty don't realize that and look down on them.

I think his point is its really hard for two religions to be under one roof. What will you teach the kids?

This doesn't mean you can't work around this, but please dont start saying people who believe in God look down on those that dont because thats just not true.

[02_Si]

Originally posted by zm_dawg
but your moral is only true because you believe in god and are religious......there's millions of people that don't and they could be leading the greatest lives of anyone.....but then you who believes w/o god life is empty don't realize that and look down on them.

Not true, I don' t look down on anyone. But in all honesty, I do feel they are lost. Maybe they do live good lives and do good things, but I feel they're still lost. I'm anything but perfect. I know I'm not the greatest person, but even the least that stand with God, I feel, are greater than the greatest that do not. Some just haven't hand the priviledge of learning about God and don't know how to reach Him. But for those that have that opportunity, I don't understand why they would pass that up. How can someone live in this country and not believe in God when this counrty's moral's are based on a Christian belief that's printed right on the money you use every single day "In God we trust".

MATTHEW 5:13-16
13: "You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trodden under foot by men. 14: "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hid. 15: Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a bushel, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16: Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

02_Si : dude take it easy, zm-dawg already said it doesn't want to hear it. You can't for him to believe what you and I do. Some people take time and life altering events to believe.

[02_Si]

Yah, my bad... I guess I just get too much involved sometimes... I've had a lot of religious debates... I guess it all comes back again when this subject is brought up.

[02_Si]

sorry guys

i didn't mean look down on'em as bad people....but you can't say their lives are empty is what i wanted to get across.
What is it that you both exactly believe? but this is gettin a little off my topic....but it's also a topic thats been on my mind lately....
as far as kids go i understand where people question this....but this is a situation that would be thought through carefully...who's to say i don't convert...or she doesn't want them knowing islam...or me stayin with my religion now and offer and allow them to study both and pick what they want....who knows it may be something totally different then what me and my girlfriend have....kids is the far future we hope...we need to know that we can make it through what we're faced with now in our day to day lives rather then end something thats great in the present only to worry about what may happen with kids......