random joke emails of the day

[ChrisCantSkate]

Johnny,
> During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks
> the students: "Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a
> nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the
> bathroom?"
> "Just a minute, I have to go pee."
> "That would be rude and impolite! ! ! What about you Peter, how
> would you say it?"
> "I am sorry , but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be
> right back."
> "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom
> at the dinner table. And you Little Johnny, are you able to use your
> intelligence for once and show us your good manners?"
> "I would say: 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have
> to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get
> to meet after supper."
> The teacher fainted!!!!



Subject: Fwd: Idiot sightings..

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he
didn't want them to cross there anymore. This one was from Kingman, KS.
__________________________________________________ ____

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg. And he was a Kansas City chef!
______________________________________________
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowle! dge? To which I
replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? He smiled
knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
__________________________________________________ _____

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind
people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are
blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
__________________________________________________ _

IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the
company due to "downsizing," our manager commented
cheerfully, "! This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was
sp oken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights
stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip Back into itself and
for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A
deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less.
__________________________________________________ __

IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car
we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's
side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced! to the
technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that
side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
__________________________________________________ _____

*they walk among us ... AND REPRODUCE!

[ebpda9]

the last one is the best

[CD5Passion]

I agree with stefan, lol god stupid people suck

[MissJDM]

Lol. I was thinkin' the same thing about the last one.

[Leets]

that was one of the scariest things I've ever read... PLEASE, SAY IT'S NOT TRUE!!!