Is this wrong? I don't think so. Sorry, it's long.

I'll start from the beginning: My ex was originally a friend of my brother's good friend. He in turn became friends with my brother and then friends with me. He's into cars and the same stuff all of us are into so we hung out a lot. ("We" meaning myself, my brother, and our tight group of friends.) Last semester, my ex and I studied for our midterm together and it was the first time either of us had spent time with the other without anyone else around. A little while after that, my brother told me, "Hey, [insert ex's name here] thinks you like him."

"Um...no. He's not really my type."

My brother said, "I know, that's what I told him."

About a week after that, we went out to dinner one night. (It was NOT a date, though he jokingly said, "Hey, this is just like a date.") At one point, I said, "I heard that you think I like you."

"Yeah," he replied.

"Why would you think that?" I asked.

"Because I sort of feel the same way." And then he went on about how he liked spending time with me and all this stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't want to be more than just friends, but I told him that it just wouldn't work. He didn't agree and pursued this thing for a month. Meanwhile, he was so sweet and nice to me and ALWAYS said the right things at the right times. I guess I just kind of fell for him, so one night, I just said, "Ok, I'll go out with you."

The very next day, he was cold and evasive. He didn't call me at all and just wanted to hang out with his friends. Three days into the "relationship," I called him and literally started off with "What the f*** is wrong with you?" He knew exactly what I was talking about and went on and on about how it was him and not me. He said his whole "mindset" changed once it sunk in that he had a girlfriend now (I was not his first, he was in a LONG relationship before me) and didn't want to feel "tied down." Apparently I tied him down after three days. There was a lot more that he said, but I won't get into it.

To this day, we're not the same friends as we used to be and won't ever. I'd understand if he was feeling insecure and came to talk to me, but he completely ignored me the SECOND after I told him "yes" and after I had repeatedly told him "no" for a month. I said he needed to grow up and be a man and all I got was, "I know, I know." I felt hurt and like something he just wanted to "conquer."

[Wow, this is long]

Anyway, one day pre-relationship/pre-breakup, I asked him what one thing his ex did to him that he just couldn't stand. (So I wouldn't make the same mistake.) He told me that he likes girls in skirts and after they broke up, she wore a skirt everyday just to spite him. I did that too, and he didn't like it very much. Do you think that was wrong of me?

im sorry, i didn't realize you were a girl until halfway through ur post i read ur profile my apologies...

well, guys who get out of long relationships have issues they have to sort out before they start dating again... it looks as if he didn't, when he hooked up with you it seems as if you reminded him too much of her the moment right after you said "yes". it could be that he compares every girl to his ex girlfriend , this could change, but it might take awhile. i still see myself doing it sometimes, well...i think i do it all the time, and i've been away from fiance since May. ok, i forgot what your exact question was so i'll stop right here...*sleep*

Originally posted by richmclaren


He told me that he likes girls in skirts and after they broke up, she wore a skirt everyday just to spite him. I did that too, and he didn't like it very much. Do you think that was wrong of me?

when you said "i did that too" does that mean you wore a skirt to spite him?...or did you just plainly wear a skirt? sorry, a little lost.

I can't stand stupid mind games.

To me, reading this, it sounds like you are playing a game with him, by wearing the skirt.

thats just me.

RICHMCLAREN, ha ha people thought that I was a boy too But anyway, I don't think what he did was right and I don't even think that I would even want to be friends with him anymore because a true friend wouldn't do that. All of my relationships started out just being friends. I love that because 2 people get to know eachother without pressure. And I think friendship is the basis of everything. If you can't be friends with someone, you certainly can't be in a relationship. "I said he needed to grow up and be a man and all I got was, "I know, I know." I felt hurt and like something he just wanted to "conquer." < In regard to all of this, I would feel the same way. I really don't know what to tell you or what to make of this but it just sounds really odd the way that he all of a sudden changed his mind. About the whole skirt wearing thing, I wouldn't even have wasted my time because that shows him that you're actually taking the time to do something out of spite and that you're really affected by all of this.

[ebpda9]

the aprt with the skirt is just funny, but i do not consider it quite correct. maybe he realized that you two aren't quite right for eachother and he did not have the balls to say that

Basically he sounds immature to me, he can't even be honest with you. You better off without him IMO. As for the skirt thing, I think it was a little ignorant, but I suppose he pushed you towards it. It is funny however. I probably wouldn't have even wasted my time with it. That just shows him that this whole thing affected you and you went through all that trouble just to spite him.. Sometimes guys get off on things girls do just to "get even"

gixer: Yeah, I wore one to spite him.

I only did it for two days. On the first day, I guess the day after we broke it off, I did it unconsciously. Later, I remembered the whole ex-girlfriend thing, so I wore one the next day too. I didn't make a big deal out of it and neither did he, but he couldn't understand why I didn't want to talk to him anymore and why everything couldn't be the way it was before...