for all the nice guys... this ones for you

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

That was good. Me likey

[Fatal070]

I liked it but, i was hoping for some comic relief....... being a nice guy worked out great for me... got my self a great g/f after being best friends with her for a year....

[Wren57]

That made me happy, sad, and angry all at once... :o

Yeah, I'm with you Wren.

I liked it too...congratulations to all of you guys who fit that description...from me.

[Rob]

Rob...take these nice guy, cute girl, I'm in a relationship posts and shove them up your ass.............I was a nice guy........for a long time.......where has that gotten me? Divorced, fucked over twice after that, and now a bitter, jaded, don't give a shit type of person..........I now understand why so many guys are assholes....that's my $0.02 and I'm done...........

Rob, if you were with me...you wouldn't be feelin that way...I got fucked over too and Im not soar about it. I understand that you were actually married and have a kid...but just know that you are/were a nice guy...and I thank you for being a nice guy to that dumb broad although she dissed you. Thanks. Continue to ne a nice guy because you'll never know when that right one will come...you don't wanna hurt someone who cares for you do you??

Originally posted by AccordinStyle
Rob...take these nice guy, cute girl, I'm in a relationship posts and shove them up your ass.............I was a nice guy........for a long time.......where has that gotten me? Divorced, fucked over twice after that, and now a bitter, jaded, don't give a shit type of person..........I now understand why so many guys are assholes....that's my $0.02 and I'm done...........

your attitude sucks

Ha ha ha ha.....

[Rob]

Originally posted by biker's back
your attitude sucks

Maybe so....but with good reason........I really need to post what happened to my recently....maybe once my cast comes off and I can actually type with two hands again.........

Wow...you must have been really shitted on...Im sorry dude...

[CD5Passion]

I think everyone has been fucked over god knows I have. but nice guys are more prone to it because they let more slide. I like to think of myself as a nice guy, i hold doors/open cardoors for girls, get roses for no reason other than I can, compliment and tell her how beautiful she is, I have come to the conclusions that most girls like assholes but at the same time hate them....wtf is wrong with this??

[pdiggitydogg]

well if that doesnt just say it all...

That was beautiful. :o

To all the NICE guys out there...what's YO numba??

[CD5Passion]

that would be a giant long distance bill, but well worth it i would think

Yea, it would be...that's why there's AIM...ha ha ha.

[ShagginJet]

Originally posted by Kool-Aid
To all the NICE guys out there...what's YO numba??

Don't ya have it?

Yes I do...he he he...
I want more more more!!!! Ha ha ha....just kidding.

[95DX]

the nice guy is the one they take home to mom and dad as well as raise the child from the nimrod they were with at one time or another

I've always thoght of myself as the "nice guy" but have the little problem of feeling like nobody truly cares/likes me (ie getting called into a group by someone I know then getting totally blown off by everyone) so I end up with a f--k everything/one attitude and spending more time by myself then anything else

You know, it seems that everybody feels that way nowadays...what's up with that?

cool....i believe i'm one of those nice guys....

[95DX]

Originally posted by Kool-Aid
You know, it seems that everybody feels that way nowadays...what's up with that?

I guess with me I've always ended up as the loner most of the time anyways but I have also noticed that when they call me into the group I'm clueless about what/who their talking about so its like what do I have to add/include which is usually nothing and if I leave and come back I'll actully be supprised if anyone noticed I "disappeared" for awhile so it leaves me feeling that way

[LadySi2000]

There are still nice guys out there...but even those have their moments. I got one and I love him to death but there are times when I could kill him too. And I know he feels that way about me. You just have to learn how to "deal" with the crap of the "relationship world". It's not gonna change anytime soon.

As for all you gus/gals out that that have that "I don't give a crap" attitude. I WILL change when you meet someone else that will take your breath away. Trust me.

[95DX]

I know it may appear like I have a "don't give a crap" attitude which I probably kinda do to a point but at the same time I've always been the person who will go outside with someone so they aren't by thimselves, if they need to talk to someone without it getting out to the world or whatever I'm there if thats what they want but I never feel like I get it back from anyone whether I want/need it or not, not that I expect it but you probably get the point

i truefully think that i cant hate anyone....it seems that with my personality i'm just too fucking nice. I could just meet someone and they would totally hate me but i'm not a person that just hates people. I'm too damn friendly. THIS SUCKS

[AkimboStylee]

no you know what sucks, i was always the fat kid, that had to be super sweet and nice, cause all the stuck-up-im-to-good bitches were im from cant look past the outside to see whats on the inside. why is it that in the movies the lame loser guy always scores with the hot "cheerleader" type girl, but in real life, you know that would never happen. the only "DATE" ive been on is my senior prom where i got asked to go with a group of these girls i knew only out of sympathy cause i was that nice guy and couldn't get a date. all through highschool i tried to being super sweet and the girls wanted assholes, i tried being an asshole, but the girls wanted the super sweet guy. and to top it all off, about 5 or 6 girls i knew in high school got pregnant, and they had tlaked to me and said that they made the worst mistake of all, seeing that i would not leave them all alone with a child(if i got them pregnant), and the fact that they got pregnant the married the guy and are unhappy cause they are not in love.
when i go to my reunion, it is pay back time! why, cause i have money, a nice car(when i graduate in a year my parents are buying a car for me depending on my grades!)(but i will be paying them back so i will earn the car), and i am the not so fat kid anymore, i just want to walk in thier, and be one of the most successful people that the people didn't know existed. i want to graduate Orlando CUlinary College with Summa Cum Laude honors (4.0, presidnts list, honor society) and be making that fat cash like 6 digits a year, i want to own my restuarunt, and when i goto the reunion, if any of those bitches that wouldnt look past the outside start saying how much they liked me, i wanna just drop kick them in thier ******* jaw and say "OPEN YOUR EYES BITCH< YOU HAD THE CHANCE, BUT KNOW I ONLY SEE THAT YOUR ONLY INTERESTED IN ME CAUSE IM LOADED, WHAT ABOUT SENIOR YEAR WHEN I WAS THERE BY YOUR SIDE, HUH WHAT ABOUT THAT, THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH TO YOU TO PROVE THAT I COULD HAVE BEEN THAT ONE SPECAIL SOMEONE"



sorry to ramble on but that is how i feel about this subject, it is bullshit, and will always be bullshit! sure you will find that special someone, but i found that special someone, in y sophmore year of highschool, we wee good friends, and i almost hade the chance to be with her, but her friends siad that i was "not here type" AKA he is fat, how would look when you are out in public. so i just said f it and said for her if she believes her friends go ahead, but i hope you know that i i will not forget you!

i also found out that i am not afraid of rejection, but more of the fact of humuliation, why cause i read what the rejections were, and some how i knew they only cared about apperence. ok im done sorry to make such a long ass post but i am sensitive guy and have been through this before, and will be through this again

[Kalvin]

Ahh.. the ole high school reunion.. anyone been to their's yet? Are the stereotypes you see in the movies true? Like the jocks will out of shape with a beer gut and balding, the cheerleaders will be married to the jocks and with kids, the nerdy/geeky guys ending up being successful in life, while the not so good looking girls are now hot? I tempted on going to mine to find out who aren't in jail yet.

[AkimboStylee]

2 of mine are in jail, and i think 3 have died, and i grad a year ago, sucks

Havent been to mine yet...

2 krwheeler85 a word of wisdom... It is great that you want 2 accomplish all those things, but do it 4 yourself and no else, and especially not out of spite... Trust me I used 2 be the "fat" kid in my day... but I also learned very quickly that friends come and go very rapidly and very soon your high school years will seem like very distant memories... And it will be the same for your former classmates... reunions basically boil down 2 everyone saying there hellos and then not having much 2 talk about because they all have grown and live different lives - Feel better sport, Bean

Oh yeah... Hi Kool Aid... If ya haven't already read them I left you some intereting posts in philosohies on sex posting - Bean

Ya so I have always been one of the nice kids... It has its benefits. I could pretty much go chill with any group of people though I choose to stick with my friends. I never had girls coming after me until this year though. I've had to open up a lot and I've become more confident yet I'm still the nice guy that opens doors, walks girls to the front door, will pay for dinner/movies and help girls with there problems for an hour on the phone if they need it. I was talking to one of my friends and I was just talking to her about what kinda guy I am and how I do those things and she was just like Wow...I've never had a guy open the door for me or buy me a movie ticket, even when I am going out with them. So ya... I'm glad I'm one of the nice guys, it's especially nice having hot friends

I agree with stunner... we maybe finish last in most "races", but when we win, we win big... but when we lose... lets not go there cause we all now what happens when we lose....

[CD5Passion]

^you mean like heavy drinking, and swearing, and wanting to run our cars into poles?

^Yea... that'd be about right ...

Originally posted by beanbandit
Oh yeah... Hi Kool Aid... If ya haven't already read them I left you some intereting posts in philosohies on sex posting - Bean

Hi!! Nice to meet you...and I'll have to read what you wrote...

In high school...I didn't have that many girlfriends I would call close knitted friends. I knew a lot of people and people knew me from basketball...but I never did have a close group I hung out with...and now that I am much older...Im still goin stag...and ain't nuthin wrong with that...I enjoy myself better by myself rather hang out with people I don't click with and be miserable...

everyone gets fucked over. I may not be married yet, but I will be to my lovely girlfriend in a couple of years. However, it took me about 10 different relationships, each worse than the last to finally find someone like her.
Point is, life sucks, but things get better sooner or later. Gauranteed.