Some serious drama

[GT40FIED]

Ok...I'm usually a wiz at handling people's relationships (other people's of course...can't do shit for my own), but now I'm faced with a new problem. I found out this weekend, just before I came back to school actually, that my brother and his wife of 9 months are seperating. This kind of pissed me off seeing as how she's been divorced once before (after almost 2 years of "bliss") and she's only 26 or so. Me and all of my/my brother's friends (we're only about 1 1/2 years apart so we grew up with the same people) kind of joked around before he got married that it wouldn't last since she'd dropped her previous husband on his ass. Now...this was good natured ribbing but none of us actually figured it would happen and certainly didn't want it to as my brother's a good guy, unlike many of his man-whore friends. Now that it's actually happened (apparently 9 months is too much of a commitment for this girl), none of us knows what to do. I won't bad-mouth her around my brother...it's still technically his wife and in the infintely minute chance they get back together that would be bad. A mutual friend of ours is currently living with them (he just moved back from Florida and needed a place to stay) and was telling me stories of a local cop who would come over when my brother was gone...apparently they'd talk and talk until my friend Jason entered the room and then they'd clam up. If this is what I think it is I swear I will kick this girl's ass. I won't hit a lady...but I have no problem hitting a woman (yes, there's a huge difference) if she screws over the people close to me in such a serious fashion. Here's my problem...I'm not good at all with displays of emotion or anything of that nature unless it's in song and/or on stage. How the hell am I supposed to act around my brother now that I know this (he didn't tell me himself)? I know too many people who have been divorced, but none going THROUGH a divorce. This has got me all kindsa fucked up.

[BlackWolf]

I personally would stay out of it. If there are problems existing in their relationship, chances are he already knows about it but doesn't want to mention it to others, whether it be from embarrasament or pride, let it be. If you really want to say something, I would put it to him that I saw something or heard something that didn't sound right and leave it up to him to fill in the rest. I understand your concern but this is HIS wife and HIS relationship. Let him know you're there for him, got his back, whatever but tread lightly. I don't want this to blow up in your face by getting too involved. There are extreme legal issues here that need to be handled by them and them alone. This kind of BS (and it is BS cause I've had this happen to me) that you're eluding to on her behalf could very well be true but please don't tell your brother this. He needs to find this out by himself. If he doesn't want to believe this or already suspects this and doesn't want to admit this to ANYONE, let alone his own brother, he very well could get very angry with you and this could ruin your relationship with him. On another angle, you could call her bluff, you could let her know that you know what's going on and that you're only going to give her a week to tell him or you will. Force her hand, let her think you know more than you actually do. Please think carefully about what you're going to do, this is a very delicate situation. Your relationship with your brother hangs in the balance.

[Whiteclipse99]

Originally posted by BlackWolf
If you really want to say something, I would put it to him that I saw something or heard something that didn't sound right and leave it up to him to fill in the rest. I understand your concern but this is HIS wife and HIS relationship. Let him know you're there for him, got his back, whatever but tread lightly.

I agree.

I think you just need to be there for him and let them work it out for themselves. As for the suspicion of her cheating on your brother, I don't think you have enough evidence to prove anything so I wouldn't say too much to your brother at this point. This cop guy may just be a good friend and is there to listen and help out a friend. This girl doesn't sound like she has a very good track record and it's a shame that your brother has to go through this at still a young age.

[IALuder]

never get involed. becuase if you say the wrong thing he may turn on you and blame you for what happened.

stay out of it.

[mylittlecivic]

One of my friends just left her husband after about two years and I dont even want to look at her, how can you just tell someone you dont love them anymore after you've told them that theyre the only one for you. And my aunt kept fking around on my uncle and then coming back I just tried to stay out of it but i dont think i'll be able to look at her or talk to her again(or for a long time anyway) :o

GT40FIED,
This must really suck for you...but if I were you, I would not get involved because it is up to your brother to decided the right thing to do in his situation. I am glad that you have some morals on hitting women...which you shouldn't...however...I think you should just be there for your brother...and just give him the right brotherly advice when and if he needs it. Did you tell him that you kow the information you know? Maybe you should reconfirm with him the information you know.
I hope this helps,

[GT40FIED]

Update: I had a chance to sit down with my brother and a few beers and talk to him about it. I'm quite amazed how well he's taking it. Apparently he has some knowledge of the goings ons that I was speaking of. Now she's pissed that the people they work with think she's a whore (they work for the same paramedic company...she's an EMT and he's a paramedic). All I could say was "if the shoe fits...". Apparently he's also talking to an old high school friend. I don;t know if this is in a romatic fashion but I applaude him for kicking this wretched whore to the curb. I still watch my tongue around him...but he's already saying most of what I think. This is precisely the reason I'm never marrying.

Nice...happy for him.