.:HSTuners::

Whiteclipse99 · 06-19-2003, 02:05 PM

This for the ladies and the gents....

Here's the situation: I dated this guy for a short time about a year or so ago, nothing really serious, and then we kind of stopped dating but still remained friends. Well, after some time now, I've kind of developed feelings for him again. I didn't want it to get out that I still liked him, but it did and now he knows. Here's the thing, he's started to like one of my friends now and she might kind of like him, but she won't act on it because I had dated him. It's a thing my friends and I have between us that we don't date our friend's ex's. It's a respect thing. Well, I've realized that this guy and I really don't have a chance anymore and maybe we're just better off being friends even though I still like him, but I told my friend that if she wanted to go out with him she could. And the other thing is, we still hang out with him and his friends. I'm good at not making it feel awkward, but I think it could be if she started going out with him.

It's just kind of a weird situation.

So I guess what I'm asking is if anyone that has ever been in this type situation and how did it work out?

Racing Rice · 06-19-2003, 02:38 PM

We have a friends dont date ex-girlfriends thing too. Well atleast for the most part. :o

If you really think it will cause things to be wierd then be honest with you friend. If she cares she will understand, if she doesn't then the you know...

Its hard to control how you feel for people sometimes.

06-19-2003, 02:50 PM

I've done it.

Don't do it. That's all I can say, just don't.

Grip72 · 06-19-2003, 05:04 PM

Even if you "think" that you could handle hanging out with your friend who is dating your ex-bf that you still like, you can't. If you have feelings for someone, its pretty much impossible to see them with another person. I think that it would become too uncomfortable for you and you would stop hanging out with them when they are together or even separeatly. It makes for a really really really really weird and awkward friendships and situations.

06-20-2003, 05:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SolPol
I've done it.

Don't do it. That's all I can say, just don't.

best advice EVAR!

06-20-2003, 09:04 AM

Ah thank you.

Whiteclipse99 · 06-20-2003, 12:34 PM

What if they are a perfect match for eachother? I don't want to be the one that is keeping them apart because I dated the guy like a year and a half ago.

06-20-2003, 01:06 PM

That's all well and good, but it still is just an extremely uncomfortable situation.

Trust me, I thought I could handle it. But I couldn't. Ended up not hanging out with a large group of my friends for about three years because of it. I actually hang out with them again now for the past few years because me and the other guy made up. The gurl was just evil and it caused many problems.

Racing Rice · 06-20-2003, 01:11 PM

Exactly, if they are perfect for eachother and do decide to go out, be ready to accept the possibility that you may lose a friend.

Grip72 · 06-20-2003, 01:59 PM

losing friends sucks...

02_Si · 06-20-2003, 03:57 PM

bros before hoes

DsBlu01CivEX · 06-21-2003, 07:40 PM

<----I'm the pink blob in the middle. Somehow, I always end up in the middle of these types of situations. I'm best friends both with Erin and the girl she is talking about. And both of them come to me to talk....I guess cuz they know I'll keep the conversations between us and that I'll give them advice whether they wanna hear it or not. Just sorta gives them the other side to look at.

I know that if our friend started dating the guy, who Erin only went out on like 3 dates with, it would bother Erin more than she says it would. It would bother any of more than we say it does. But our friend is totally trying to respect their friendship and not date the dude.

06-22-2003, 04:55 PM

It won't be ok if it happens, TRUST ME! I did this once, hooked a gal friend up with my X who I thought I hated and then I was like....

So ya-skip that K?

Kyle · 06-22-2003, 10:18 PM

if they're made for eachother...there is nothing you can do to stop it...they WILL hook up...whether you like it or not...but if they're not meant to be...your girl will keep her cool and won't go for your X

06-25-2003, 07:00 PM

I think for a relationship to work both partners must express mutual interest in each other and in the relationship. If one partner happens to loose interest because of another person or for whatever reason, it would be best to end the relationship and get on with life (its easier to grow a new apple than to fix a bad one).

Whiteclipse99 · 06-26-2003, 09:19 AM

Thanks everyone for the advice!

Quote:

Originally posted by Zybach
I think for a relationship to work both partners must express mutual interest in each other and in the relationship. If one partner happens to loose interest because of another person or for whatever reason, it would be best to end the relationship and get on with life (its easier to grow a new apple than to fix a bad one).

That's what's hard for me to do, to get on with my life, but your right, it's time I do. Hopefully someone better will come along!

I'm getting good at this rejection thing!

07-12-2003, 12:57 AM

Time for another good idea/bad idea.......

bad idea

07-13-2003, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kyle
if they're made for eachother...there is nothing you can do to stop it...they WILL hook up...whether you like it or not...but if they're not meant to be...your girl will keep her cool and won't go for your X

I agree with Kyle.... if they made for each other... there is nothing you can do about it. It is hard when situation like this happens, but I guess this is one of those things that you have to deal with it when you don't like it.

06-19-2003, 02:05 PM	#1
Whiteclipse99 4th Gear Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: York, Pa Age: 44 Posts: 952	Weird situation... This for the ladies and the gents.... Here's the situation: I dated this guy for a short time about a year or so ago, nothing really serious, and then we kind of stopped dating but still remained friends. Well, after some time now, I've kind of developed feelings for him again. I didn't want it to get out that I still liked him, but it did and now he knows. Here's the thing, he's started to like one of my friends now and she might kind of like him, but she won't act on it because I had dated him. It's a thing my friends and I have between us that we don't date our friend's ex's. It's a respect thing. Well, I've realized that this guy and I really don't have a chance anymore and maybe we're just better off being friends even though I still like him, but I told my friend that if she wanted to go out with him she could. And the other thing is, we still hang out with him and his friends. I'm good at not making it feel awkward, but I think it could be if she started going out with him. It's just kind of a weird situation. So I guess what I'm asking is if anyone that has ever been in this type situation and how did it work out? __________________ Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave -- but there's no need to be in the passing lane. -- Robert Orben

06-19-2003, 02:38 PM	#2
Racing Rice Project Combat Honda Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Highland,OH Age: 45 Posts: 7,985	We have a friends dont date ex-girlfriends thing too. Well atleast for the most part. :o If you really think it will cause things to be wierd then be honest with you friend. If she cares she will understand, if she doesn't then the you know... Its hard to control how you feel for people sometimes. __________________ Racing Rice

06-20-2003, 12:34 PM	#7
Whiteclipse99 4th Gear Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: York, Pa Age: 44 Posts: 952	What if they are a perfect match for eachother? I don't want to be the one that is keeping them apart because I dated the guy like a year and a half ago. __________________ Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave -- but there's no need to be in the passing lane. -- Robert Orben

06-20-2003, 01:11 PM	#9
Racing Rice Project Combat Honda Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Highland,OH Age: 45 Posts: 7,985	Exactly, if they are perfect for eachother and do decide to go out, be ready to accept the possibility that you may lose a friend. __________________ Racing Rice

06-20-2003, 03:57 PM	#11
02_Si 2nd Gear Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: AZ@ Age: 42 Posts: 207	bros before hoes __________________ The name is Tom, I am da bomb, if you can't remember, just ask yo' mom.

06-19-2003, 02:50 PM	#3
SolPol Posts: n/a	I've done it. Don't do it. That's all I can say, just don't.

06-19-2003, 05:04 PM	#4
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 40 Posts: 2,962	Even if you "think" that you could handle hanging out with your friend who is dating your ex-bf that you still like, you can't. If you have feelings for someone, its pretty much impossible to see them with another person. I think that it would become too uncomfortable for you and you would stop hanging out with them when they are together or even separeatly. It makes for a really really really really weird and awkward friendships and situations.

06-20-2003, 01:06 PM	#8
SolPol Posts: n/a	That's all well and good, but it still is just an extremely uncomfortable situation. Trust me, I thought I could handle it. But I couldn't. Ended up not hanging out with a large group of my friends for about three years because of it. I actually hang out with them again now for the past few years because me and the other guy made up. The gurl was just evil and it caused many problems.

06-20-2003, 01:59 PM	#10
Grip72 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Calgary, AB Canada Age: 40 Posts: 2,962	losing friends sucks...

06-21-2003, 07:40 PM	#12
DsBlu01CivEX Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: York Age: 44 Posts: 2,542	<----I'm the pink blob in the middle. Somehow, I always end up in the middle of these types of situations. I'm best friends both with Erin and the girl she is talking about. And both of them come to me to talk....I guess cuz they know I'll keep the conversations between us and that I'll give them advice whether they wanna hear it or not. Just sorta gives them the other side to look at. I know that if our friend started dating the guy, who Erin only went out on like 3 dates with, it would bother Erin more than she says it would. It would bother any of more than we say it does. But our friend is totally trying to respect their friendship and not date the dude. __________________ "Oh, I have a goal. And it's to have no goals at all." http://www.myspace.com/kenike

06-22-2003, 04:55 PM	#13
GirlRacer Posts: n/a	It won't be ok if it happens, TRUST ME! I did this once, hooked a gal friend up with my X who I thought I hated and then I was like.... So ya-skip that K?

06-22-2003, 10:18 PM	#14
Kyle elyK Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: New Braunfels, TX Age: 38 Posts: 3,390	if they're made for eachother...there is nothing you can do to stop it...they WILL hook up...whether you like it or not...but if they're not meant to be...your girl will keep her cool and won't go for your X __________________ IGNORE THE FACTS EXPLORE THE TRUTH

06-25-2003, 07:00 PM	#15
Zybach Posts: n/a	I think for a relationship to work both partners must express mutual interest in each other and in the relationship. If one partner happens to loose interest because of another person or for whatever reason, it would be best to end the relationship and get on with life (its easier to grow a new apple than to fix a bad one).

07-12-2003, 12:57 AM	#17
Numbstruck Posts: n/a	Time for another good idea/bad idea....... bad idea

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