Faithfulness

so here's the deal.
Ive been dating this girl for almost two years now. i really do care for her, but we tend to fight as often as we get along. a few months back we had decided to spend some time apart to cool off a bit (but not like we had really broken up, just a 'break). so anway we got back together and the other night she told me that during that time a few months ago, she cheated on me with another guy. i blew my lid when i foudn out cuz i still consider this cheating.

i really care for her and we really do have some great times together (in between the petty arguments), but i just can't seem to get past this.

advice? how should i handle this - would you have felt as though you were cheated on if this was your situation?

[Racing Rice]

I think I would..

Stuff like this is really hard because it makes you feel violated as well. No matter what happens I dont think youll ever feel good pure feels about her, cause stuff like that will leave a sour taste for a long time. Honestly, its pretty disrespectful to you too. Tho you may forgive, you will most likely not for get. Which will sooner or later probably lead to you cheating on her for paybacks or whatever.

I say get out now while you can..

You dont have any kids together do you?

It's not really cheating, but out of respect for you, she shouldn't have done it. If she really cared and wanted to work things out with you she could have held off on messing around with other guys. If this is something that really bugs you, then I'd try my best to move on. If she really loved and cared about you she wouldn't have been able to be with another guy that easily.
That's just my .02 good luck

you girls have wanted more girlie traffic on HS. i think this forum is just what you need. this will be a magnet.
im not thrilled that we have a love line forum but i guess we need it.

[2000Pimpinex]

If she ever thought of getting back together with you then she wouldn't have done it. Maybe she just wanted to compare your manhood to his.
Either way, ever see Friends? When Ross was on a break from J. Anniston. He slept with someone else. She had a problem with it, he didn't. The point is they were on a break. Time apart!!

i going through something like this now!! IMO i think that if the girl really loves you she would take the time to cool off not go mess around with some guy then want to get back with you!

I think that is so wrong.. if that is not considered cheating then what is? I feel for you man, the good ones always get it bad. Any excuse she could come up with will not make it easier for you to forgive her or to forget what happened. It totally sucks when you dedicate yourself entirely to someone and they go and ruin it. Apart of you never fully recovers. Whether or not you see past what she did to do and get back with her or move on to someone else, you will find your perfect girl.

*raises the cheating flag* thats sooo not cool....it says a lot about what she thought of your relationship....it was better in her mind for her to spend the time "apart" from you and with someone else rather than take the time to think about what she wanted from the relationship, what you wanted, where she saw it going in the future, does the good outweigh the bad etc etc....no she didnt think about that....or perhaps she did but she didnt do it alone which in my opinion is kinda the point of the break....bottom line....IF YA WANNA BE WITH SOMEONE ELSE--YOU BREAK UP! you dont agree to a break and use it as a "get laid with no consequences card"! my two pence BTW i would feel the exact same way....its hard to get an image of yer girl and another guy outta yer head once its in there :(

Man that is LAME!!!! :o

I have a friend who really loves his gf but he cheated on her and didni't feel the smallest bit of shame. He really loves his gf but realizes he's still young and wants to sow his wild oats. I don't think it's right what he did, but in some twisted way, he feels more drawn to his gf now than before because he realizes that she's the one he wants. I'm sure she'd flip out if she knew he did that but as a friend of his I'm obligated to keep my mouth shut.

I guess the consequences are all in the person who got cheated on. They can be angry and break up, or they can forgive, but maybe not forget. Just don't use this issue as a get out of jail free card to go and cheat on her now.
Plus, my opinion of the relationship changes once I know i can cheat and not get dumped, or know that I could just get away with it. My ex told me flat out she loves me so much that if I cheated on her she's stay with me because she didn't wanna lose me. I never would have cheated, but my perspective on the relationship changed.
Just don't let her think that because you forgive her this time she can get away with other stuff.

[ChrisCantSkate]

she cared enought to tell you, i know it isnt a great feeling, but she could have kept it silent and then if you found out in a year or however long imagine how mad you'd be then, mabye she just wants to come back into the relationship with no dirty sheets

[2000Pimpinex]

If you love someone enough, then there is no way you will cheat on them. My ex and had had problems before we eventually broke up but neither ever thought about cheating. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I just couldn't forgive someone for that. Its like getting robbed. I feel violated!!

Let's clarify this is cheating on another human being, someone you supposedly love, someone who should be the center of your world... I've cheated on tests, regents and SAT's how else do you think I got where I am, studying?