When I become ruler...

[GT40FIED]

So many of you may be asking yourself what exactly my edicts will be once I rise to power as world ruler and dictator. Here's a sneak peak at my policies. Derek and Stefan may also make suggestions...they've had my back in my power struggle as would-be world ruler so they get first say. Will I listen? Maybe. The rest of your suggestions will be considered with slightly less urgency. Anyhow...onto my kick ass new laws:

1. Jesus is now a terrorist (posthumously). If you think about it, more people have killed and been killed in his name than argueably anyone else in history. Just think of the Crusades. Oh...and the children's Crusades. People who zealously follow him are generally dangerous and of a lesser intelligence. Besides...he was a little too willing to die for his beliefs. So guess what...now he's a terrorist.

2. Criminals have no rights. If you commit any sort of violent crime, you will have no rights. You will subjected to mandatory beatings and anyone who rapes you in jail will be considered for early release as they've done the public at large a favor. This courtesy will also be extended to white collar criminals of suitable violations. Who gets to decide that? You got it...me. Also, if you are injured while fleeing the police after a crime you will under no circumstances receive medical treatment. It will be saved for those who deserve it.

3. Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever. No, I don't mean killing those of jewish decent. This has nothing to do with religion or ethnicity...although Mormons better make their peace right now. I mean kill everyone I deem to be unfit. Let's face it folks...this experiment called humanity has failed and it's time to start over. No more spawn of disease from the shallow end of the gene pool. I have personally become so disgusted with what humanity has been spewing out lately that I've decided that we, as a race, should be stopped by force. Don't like it? Tough.

4. Protesters protesting stupid shit will be fed to ferrets. Why ferrets? Think of how long it would take for a ferret to eat a human. Remember, civil disobedience is still disobedience and in certain instances should be treated as such. Who gets carte blanche to decide who has good ideas and who's got shitty ideas? Me baby...just me. You'll thank me later.

5. Your position on abortion is wrong. I don't care if it's pro-life or pro-choice. While you rant and rave and diatribe, one fact will escape 99.9% of people...it's not your fucking body. You will no longer have the opportunity to attempt to legislate what people do with their own bodies whether it be abortion or assisted suicide. Even I, as ruler, will be held to this standard. I will have no more right to tell you what to do with your body than you will to tell me in kind. Now sure, I can kill you without fear of retribution but I cannot decide whether or not you can vacuum out your unborn child. That way no one can blame me when and if they do some stupid shit.

Recent studies of people who are me find that 99.999% of this will go over well with the masses...except those who I select for extermination. Man...I am going to be such a kick ass leader.

Now...I offer you a chance to give feedback/addition opinions. Remember, they will all be taken under advisement and some may even be implemented. If they're not...tough fuck.

[Rob]

Steve...you really need to masturbate or something....

[GT40FIED]

Originally posted by AccordinStyle
Steve...you really need to masturbate or something....

Already have...your point?

[Rob]

Originally posted by GT40FIED
Already have...your point?

Thanks for sharing...I was just thinking that you have way to much time on your hands....but I would vote for your anyway.....

[GT40FIED]

Well...I have small hands...so it's easy for them to be full. And actually...most of that was written off the top of my head. There are more...I just didn't want to waste too much time blowing your mind with my awesomeness.

[Rob]

fair enough

[IALuder]

lol, man i dont know about you ruling anything. that would be a tid bit scary. i would have to move to canada..

[GT40FIED]

Well...on the flipside...if you oppose me you'll be killed before you even hit the border.

[JDMFantasy2k]

Originally posted by GT40FIED

3. Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever. No, I don't mean killing those of jewish decent. This has nothing to do with religion or ethnicity...although Mormons better make their peace right now. I mean kill everyone I deem to be unfit. Let's face it folks...this experiment called humanity has failed and it's time to start over. No more spawn of disease from the shallow end of the gene pool. I have personally become so disgusted with what humanity has been spewing out lately that I've decided that we, as a race, should be stopped by force. Don't like it? Tough.

hey steve you first!

[GT40FIED]

Man...any time you use the name "Hitler" people get this idea in their heads that you're a racist. I could've replaced Hitler's name with "Bush" and it wouldn't be any less true. Feel better now? Anyone who doesn't believe humanity has spiraled down into a festering shithole of hypocricy isn't intelligent enough for me to talk to. I'm offering a solution...anyone who's got a better idea raise their hand.

[RxGoaT13]

if i was ruler i would be on vacation all of the time...
kinda like bush.

[Kyle]

Originally posted by RxGoaT13
if i was ruler i would be on vacation all of the time...
kinda like bush.

did you learn that from the movie theater?

[ebpda9]

i think you need to get laid steve woldn;t that be one of your laws too ?

gt man some of that is just messed up. you got some issues if you think Jesus is the cause of most death. its man thats the problem not God.

[GT40FIED]

Originally posted by number1sunner
gt man some of that is just messed up. you got some issues if you think Jesus is the cause of most death. its man thats the problem not God.

There's really any number of ways I could tear that apart. Issue this bitch:

1. If you believe what christians tell you, man was created by god...thus making it his fault for our stupid shit. It's the ultimate escapist attitude really. Fucked up your shit? I wasn't YOU...god made you that way!

2. Jesus was apparently the son of god and god at the same time. Tell me there haven't been numerous wars fought over god. No really...go on and tell me.

3. The Romans labeled Jesus as an enemy of the state. Today if you're labeled an enemy of the state you end up on a playing card. If it was good enough for the Romans, it's good enough for me.

4. Religion is a synthetic referee.

5. Religion is by and large a joke.

Get it now?

And no Stefan...as tempting as it is that would violate #5. But I figure the chicks'll come. Chicks dig power.

[pdiggitydogg]

So how exactly do we get you to be "in-charge"?
Do we vote for you in november?
Is there just going to be a massive take over for world domination?
Maybe just separate like Petoria?

[GT40FIED]

Originally posted by pdiggitydogg
So how exactly do we get you to be "in-charge"?
Do we vote for you in november?
Is there just going to be a massive take over for world domination?
Maybe just separate like Petoria?

Bwahahaha...Petoria. Nice Family Guy reference. No elections...although I'm sure I would kick ass in the polls. I'm trying to work out a way to create a power vacuum and then stage some sort of coup. If you voted for me in November, I'd be no better than the douche bags currently running...and I think it's fair to say that I'm ridiculously better than them. I mean...I'll have to start with the U.S. and work my way up. But hey...we're already at the point where we're about totry and take over the world. My work is half done. Now all we need is some intelligence in there. That's where I come in.

[KwikR6]

SFking. We don't want you in Canada anyway!