[GT40FIED]

When driving with a passenger, randomly turn your wipers on when it isn't raining...insisting you have to keep them "tuned up".

In the "for" (or memo) line on all of your checks (that line in the bottom left) write things like "sensual massage" or "sexual favors". This is especially effective if the check is then given to a family member.

Take a chair into an elevator

When meeting large groups of people, greet everyone with a firm handshake and introduce yourself as "the admiral". Again, this is especially effective if you're a woman.

Take a ketchup or other type of squirt bottle full of flat mountain dew into the bathroom with you and go into a stall next to an occupied one. Unzip your pants and begin spraying the stuff everywhere like crazy and shout "whoa boy!". Also great for the women out there.

Again in a bathroom next to an occupied stall, wipe some peanut butter on some toilet paper and toss it face down under the partition between the two stalls. Then kindly ask the person next to you to hand it back to you.

Go to Pep Boys, Autozone, etc. and INSIST that your car has piston return springs. When they tell you that it doesn't or that they can't find it, make a huge scene telling them how incompitent they are and that everyone knows about said part.