[Wren57]

The Difference Between a Liberal, a Conservative and a Texan

Situation: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and twosmall children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a loaded, high powered semi-automatic pistol and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


Liberal Answer

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What do the kids think? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion. Maybe I could just talk to him and find the reason for his rage and he will calm down and the two of us can go get a cup of coffee.

Conservative Answer

BANG!

Texan's Answer

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click-snap-kachunk... (sounds of clip being ejected, fresh clip inserted & round being chambered)

Wife: `Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?'

Son: `Mom's right Dad, I saw it too...'

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Daughter: `Nice grouping Daddy!'