How to shower like a woman
 

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.

4. Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, arm-cloth, leg-cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

7. Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red raw.

9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off).

11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.

12. Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.

13. Turn off shower.

14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.

16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.

17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

18. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.

ok...some of this is VERY VERY true...and other parts is not. I don't scrub my face with apricot scrub until it's red and raw....but i do use apricot scrub...:busted:

so THATS what they do in the bathroom

And this whole time i thought they were just taking a long, steamy dump...jfwy...ew:pukey

Ha, but i guess its worth it. 30-45min of quiet... gentlemen you never want them to change.....

:yes: ;) :cigar:

OH SO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!

yup yup

you didnt hear this from me....




AMEN TO THAT!!!

LOL so true...:yes: :bow:

LMAO :D

Re: How to shower like a woman
 

Exactly!....good things come to those who wait gentlemen! ;) The rest of the steps couldn't be more true, with the exception of a few!

Re: How to shower like a woman
 

this is the only one I don't do...on a normal occassion. Everything else in that list is me...except shampooing my hair twice. Thats not good for your hair. It dries it out too much. I can spend a good hour in the bathroom for a shower if I know that no one is waiting for it. I love long hot (read steaming hot) showers. My bathroom is always like a sauna when I get out of the shower. I think I loose weight while in there cuz of it.:yes: