Men Only....
 

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
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Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Q: Why do men break wind more than women?
A: Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt
her.
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Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
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A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
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Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
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A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:
"Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

hahahah loved it.

LOL, those are unfortunately:rolleyes: true!!! hahah, nice one

very very nice...i give it an A+

LMAO

Lol, all of those were pretty funny :D

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those are killer:D :D :D

lmao those are f*ckin great, mad props for posting those

1. I shouldnt be in here but I am
2. Hahaha I like the one with a smart comment begins with "A man once told me.." :D

lofl, some of those are great, like the break wind, maybe its my simple mind

i think that was the best one too

okay so i'm not a guy but those were funny :D

LOL niceeee i like em all!;) :D

ok...i'm glad i wasn't the first girl to be nosey in here. I always like a good joke...and i'll admit that those are quite funny...But the ironic thing was that Julie pointed the same one out that I'm going to. See the problem with this one, "Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...", is it's never been done. I've never started a sentence with a man once told me.....i've never been told anything worth repeating by a man!!! J/K guys. I had to get one (even if it was lame) back in there.

hehe........oOkay there:yes:

Those are funny