The Hills Have...Glaucoma
 

So I decided to sit down last night and watch a copy of the new remake of The Hills Have Eyes. I'm always weary of 70's horror remakes and I'd already heard some bad stuff about this movie. Suprisingly, it's quite watchable. I'm not saying I'd shell out $20 for the DVD...but it's worth a rental at Cockbuster. However, there are some nearly fatal defects:

- In no way will this ever stack up to Wes Craven's original...period.

- The guy who directed it also directed "High Tension", a movie so bad it literally made me want to lapse into a coma. Normally bad movies get better with a little alcohol. That one got worse.

- Too many 70's horror genre cliche's. The only way it could've been more cliched is if one of the families had been named Hill ("the Hills" have eyes...get it?).

- As with High Tension, all suspense is nearly destroyed. There's always that shadow that runs right in front of the camera when the music starts to get creepy or the movement in your peripheral. Even if you don't know what's going to happen, you know something's about to. You also see the crazy people's faces too much. It sort of takes away some of the mystery.

Freaky movies freak me out.... Got any more pirate suggestions for me bro :)

i have a question, why wouldn't multiple atomic blasts collapse mines that are w/in walking distance???

Because...well...shut up!:D

No, seriously...magic.

And Arnel...if you made it through Texas Chainsaw Massacre, you can make it through this. It's essentially the same story. Family of freaks ruin stranded traveler's shit. This time they're just mutant freaks instead of inbred hicks.

I didnt watch TCM neither. The last freaky movie I've seen is the first Saw....

Hey, I actually liked the movie. Then again, I don't watch many movies anymore so I like most of what I do get to see. I have a specific scene to bitch about but it would spoil the movie for the rest. A little too graphical for me though..

lol :D

-10 characters-

I've heard mixed reviews about it. I personally don't really want to see it all that much, considering it's about mutants that live in mountians. Didn't they already do that movie? But with mutants living in the forest or something?

wrong turn.. these mutants are deformed from nuclear fallout, wrong turn mutants were just inbreds

Same premis though. Stupid mutants.

Oh and the title of this thread kills me.

yea pretty much probably. god forbid should a movie have any originality or creativity in it anymore.

Dude...go look at Apple's Quicktime trailer site. At LEAST 25% of it is movies based on old TV shows (like we need to see Miami Vice with Colin Ferrel and Jamie Foxx), movie remakes, comic book movies, and even video game movies. It's sickening.

Yeah I don't think I'll be seeing miami vice.

go out and rent The Audition. it's all subtitles, but it's not the mundane garbage that hollywood has been spewing out for the past years and years

I have just about every movie Takashi Miike has made and trust me...Audition is one of the more tame flicks. Really the only fucked up part was the last 20-30 minutes. If you REALLY want fucked up, watch Visitor Q, China Mafia Wars, The Happiness Of The Katakuris, or The Great Spook War. All Takashi Miike flicks...all fucked up in their own way. His submission for the compilation "Three...Extremes" was pretty good, too.

cool, i'll definately have to check some of those out. i've been trying to rent "three...extremes" for a while now but it's always out

It's definitely an odd little flick. It's a colaboration between a chinese director (Fruit Chan), a Japanese director (Takashi Miike), and a Korean director (Park Chan Wook) who each filmed a fucked up short that got put together (they're all about 30-45 minutes each). All are...troubling. Haha.

It's like the horror equivelent of The Duel Project...a challenge given to two Japanese film makers to direct a feature length film using only two actors, battling in one location, and to have it filmed in only 1 week. Come to think of it, those movies were good too. The results were Ryuhei Kitamura's "Aragami" and Yukihiko Tsutsumi's "2LDK".

well i'll have to check for those too, but i'm guessing i'll have trouble finding them here in Sask.

Actually Aragami isn't usually too hard to find. Kitamura made a great little flick called "Versus" (with zombie, aliens, vampires, and yakuza. What more can you ask for?) that has a fairly good cult following in the US so some of his other movies are relatively easy to find. As for 2LDK...it took a LOT of searching for me to stumble across that one. I wouldn't even bother with it. It's good, but not nearly as cool as Aragami.

cool, thanks for the suggestions.

you ever seen Evilenko? thats a creepy show

hahaha it's hard finding anything decent here in sask sometimes.

ok so I watched it tonight.. it was ok.. steve is right, there were only a few times when something actually surprised me in the movie.. like in the beginning.. bastards. but it was at least watchable

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when the guy from the gas station blows his brains out, that's awesome.. the part I didn't like though was how the magnum blew their mom back like 4 feet but when he shot the bitch in the head it didn't even blow her skull apart.. was kind of disappointed.

It actually sort of makes sense Chris since Wes Craven asked them to tone down some of the gore in the movie.

yea but what about the guy with the shotgun, that wasn't toned down haha

ok i personally enjoyed the hills have eyes and I think i spoke to you about this Steve. about how some of shit they did pissed me off to no end...
i mean seriously

you have a gun

the freak doesnt

blow that fucker a new hole...seriously..come on

I rented Izo a couple days ago. wow. that's all i can say. craziest movie ever

Haha. Yeah...Izo was nuts. I gotta say my favorite part was when all of those businessmen in the modern city kneel in front of him and beg him to leave and he responds by screaming and killing all of them.:D

I just couldn't get past the lack of any explanation as to why he goes where he goes.

no shiiiit. the ending pissed me off. I'm still bitter about. %$#@!

Ending? What ending? The movie just sort of stopped. Sure, they were together, but they were still in the middle of nowhere with no chance of getting back.

If you REALLY wanna watch movies that don't have any sort of ending whatsoever, watch some David Cronenberg flicks. They're all incredibly weird and tend to make you question reality. More noteable ones are Videodrome (the weirdest), eXistenZ (also quite weird), and A History Of Violence. All of those movies ended so abruptly it would've pissed me off if it didn't make me think. He also directed Crash (not the new one...I think his came out in 2000). I've never seen it, but it's about a group of people sexually aroused by car accidents. It even managed to get an NC-17 rating. If that's not fucking bizarre, I don't know what is.

Exactly!! It was so stinkin' lame. I think I was bitching for the rest of the night. I mean, they only made is so obvious that there's gonna be a PART II. rawr.

Well...technically there was a sequel, but it came out about 8 years after the original and it was immensely retarded. I mean c'mon...you can't take a movie seriously when the dog even has flashbacks.