HSTuners - Request from the Penis

The Penis Talks

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for
the following reasons:
-I do physical labor.
-I work at great depths.
-I plunge head first into everything I do.
-I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
-I work in a damp environment. I don't get paid
overtime.
-I work in a dark workplace that has poor
ventilation.
-I work in high temperatures.
-My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration
rejects your request for the following reasons:

-You do not work 8 hours straight.
-You fall asleep on the job after brief work
periods.
-You do not always follow the orders of the
management team.
-You do not stay in your designated area and are> often seen visiting other locations.
-You do not take initiative; you need to be
pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
-You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift.
-You don't always observe necessary safety
regulations, such as wearing the correct protective
clothing.
-You will retire well before you are 65.
-You are unable to work double shifts.
-You sometimes leave your designated work before you
have completed the assigned task.
-And if that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering and exiting the workplace
carrying two suspicious looking bags.