^ Just because you're having emotionally detached sex with someone doesn't mean it's not good/loving, and it doesn't mean that you're sleeping around. Sometimes you need to be close to someone, just because you're not in love or falling in love (or plan to) with them doesn't mean that you can't be close sexually/physically/emotionally. I've had a couple detached relationships, i'm 23, and my final number is still under 10.

I think thats a completely backwards way and looking at sex. Sex is supposted to be the closest way two people can get together. Yet people seem to be willing to let anyone or a select few sleepw ith them before they settle down. What are people doing to themselves? They'll allow someone to get inside them or sleep with them but they wont open up emotionally. People have it all backwards.

Call me a prude, tell me you dont understand what I'm saying but it does make sense people. Emotionally you should be there before you go having sex with someone.

It simple terms its like trying to drive a car without a motor, sure you can push it along, sure it'll go down a hill and coast on the flats for a bit. But without the motor it isnt going anywhere but down.

I know exactly what you mean, but the way you and i think and or feel isn't going to change the world. The TRUTH is that people get hurt, people put up walls, people won't open up emotionally to another person until they're ready. Whether or not that point comes before or after sex really doesn't matter. In most cases people are more willing to get personal sexually then they are to get personal emotionally.

I think it's very sad, but it's the way the world is. Once someone is hurt it's so hard, sometimes impossible, to get that person to open back up again. to have them accept who they are and to let another person back into their life.

I just got burnt by this / about this. The girl wasn't ready, so what happen, she left me hanging. There's nothing you can do about it but to accept the way certain people are. Just because someone isn't ready now doesn't mean they won't be ready later, if i'm still around that is.

That make sense?

it makes sense and what i'm saying is its sad...

I hear what you're saying Rob, but you're talking from a belief and moral standpoint. Sex isn't necissarily an emotional thing...it's a biological instinct meant to further a species. Humans just got screwed because to us it's pleasureable and we're to stupid to control ourselves. I honestly think religion plays a big part in why people make it out to be emotional...at least the idea that it should be emotional. Really it's just like 2 animals mating...but humans have to kid themselves into thinking it's more. That being said humans are in some ways programmed to be monogamous. For instance, when you climax there are chemicals released in your brain that help you attach yourself emotionally to your environment and especially the person you're with. I'm not saying sex isn't better when you're in an involved relationship...I personally think it is. But at the same time said relationship isn't a necessity, it's a bonus.

well if you say our actions are all animal based I'd say you're wrong and give us humans more brains then that. We're one of the few creatures that has the power over how we live our lives. No other creater on earth as the power, freedom and thought processs/brain power that we do.

Well...that's debateable. All I'm saying is that sex is an instinct, much like self defense. It's just that as humans we're taught to deny our instincts. I honestly think we give ourselve too MUCH credit for our brain power. We do the exact same things other animals do...eat, sleep, deficate, and procreate...we just kid ourselves that there's nore to it than that. Just because they haven't developed classes and titles and subcultures for each other doesn't make other animals any less intelligent. Some could argue that simplicity is it's own intelligence. Bottom line: you can't knock people for doing what comes naturally. You can disagree with their choices and their reasoning, but in my opinion it's wrong to deny the instincts you have.

Is it because of the idea that a girl who sleeps around a lot is thought of being a slut? On the other hand, guys aren't looked down upon if they had a lot of partners. If you are waiting until you two are getting finally married and then turning her down because she finally gave you the count, then you should have asked her earlier in the relationship and decided then if she is wife material or not. On the other hand, would you even consider continuing the relationship knowing she had been with so many guys? If you are thinking yes, then why is she dateable but not marriageable? You are still getting the leftovers from all the guys before you...

I'd rather she had her fun beforehand and as long as she doesn't sleep with 40 or 50 guys after we are married, I could care less. But if she has some incurable std, all bets are off. I like to free of rashes or piss without some burning sensation, thank you...

I don't think it's the ability to think that makes us different, i think it's the ability to comunicate. That's what makes humans different then any other animal is that at choice we have the ability to say/speak/comunicat our thoughts to other humans, every other animal is different. Just My Opinion,m but when it comes down to it we are all animals in one form or another.

I think that everybody is different and having sex with someone will eventually become an emotional attachment. It is a shame that people go around having meaningless sex because they "hold their walls up" or whatever excuse they have for doing it...like I said before, I've been done dirty...real dirty...and I;ve met a couple of guys that can probably rock my world if I let them...I just take my time and get over the previous relationship...and you know what...there ain't no walls upon my heart....it takes a strong man and/or woman to not develop those walls...and yes, I would love to have sex again...but I feel if I do, it would be nothing more than just rebound sex and I don't want it to be that way...so I am holding out to make it right.

Finally someone with something intelligent to say in this thread...I feel the exact same way. Everyone, I don't care who you are or what you think you are, has strong sexual desires. Monogamy is great with someone that you love and care about. But if you lose your virginity to one girl and stay with that one girl for the rest of your life, you will always wonder what it is like with someone else. Same goes with females. I have seen alot in my 28 years...most of it in the last 4 years of my life. I have had numerous girls proposition me (that were married or in a relationship) because they weren't getting satisfied sexually in their relationship. One of those was supposedly a "good girl" that never slept around or had sex until she got married. Then she found out that her husband sucked in bed and she never had an orgasm with him so she started looking elsewhere. Now, maybe if she had slept with a few guys before she got married she wouldn't have cheated on her husband or even married him in the first place. On the other hand, my ex-wife was very promiscuous before we got married and I found out after we got married that she had been with 80+ guys. She just decided that marriage shouldn't get in the way of her promiscuity. Sex is a very important part of human behavior and if you don't fulfill that humor desire/instinct/whatever you want to call it then it will cause problems at some later point. Basically what it comes down to is you need to "shop" around a little bit to get certain things out of your system and find someone that matches your desires and sex drive and also someone that has gotten their "shopping" out of the way as well........

I understand where you're coming from...I don't think anybody in this lifetime has slept with just one person their whole life...I'm just not going to be sleeping with like...20 guys my whole life...won't happen. It ain't that serious for me.

^ If i travel at the same speed i'm traveling and stick to the plan that i've made, I don't expect to hit or go over 20 either. You shouldn't need to go that far to meet the one who's right for you. By 20 failed attemps you should have found someone you're happy with and someone that you'd be glad to settle with. I'm under 10 and think i've found that, it's gone now but i have a nother 10+ to find the things that i know i'm looking for.

Well...I "got some" last night...it was a one night stand (just met her for the first time. It was a friend of a female friend of mine and I knew her for approx. 6 hours before the deed was done) and I gained some knowledge from the experience...

1) I have absolutely no respect for my pee pee :no:
2) Alcohol is bad...m'kay

:nono:

What do you mean by #1? Whiskey dick or what?

no...I meant by what I stuck it in....:pukey

What happened???

Heres some food for thought..

To all the people that have many sexual partners or have had many. What good has this gotten you? Are you happily settled down with someone you care about or are you alone looking for the next one to test drive?

I've said it before....and i'll say it again...
I have too much self-respect to participate in one night stands...

^There is nothing wrong with one night stands in my opinion. Cause there are no feelings for the other person and vice versa so the next day or w/e u can do what ever the fuck u want to.

That's one of my problems, I don't have any. I have morals with a very low self esteem, but no self respect. :o

Well girly...every woman should have self-respect...we are too beautiful of a species to not have self-respect... ;)

a girl without self respect is just a wet hole..

What exactly do you mean by "wet hole"?

^yea, that was kind of mean biker.

i think its pretty clear what i mean by that....

mean.. maybe.. harsh.. yes

Get used to it, i'm blunt and I dont have my lips on anyones ass

You ever heard the expression..." if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it"?

this is the internet...

I said that I don't have any self respect but I didn't say that I was a whore. The internet does NOT give you any more of a right to personally slam on someone just because you don't agree with them. I have had alot of issues in my past and the issues I'm dealing with now, which gives me reasons why I sometimes do what I do and none of which I will explain to you or anyone else on this site, unless you are a very close friend (you know who you are) about my issues just to prove a point. BUT I can and will tell you this. I am not nor was I ever a whore or in your words, a "wet hole". You DON'T know me. You don't know anything about me except for what I post here at this site and you think THAT is enough to judge someone by?? I will stand by the morals that I do have and not stoop to your level by calling you names. If you've had a bad day, it's not my fault.

I knew you was gonna have something to say about that...it wasn't nice of him to say that though...Im sorry girly for what he said...he doesn't know what you are going through...

I don't think biker meant it in that way BlackW. He's making a comment on what he's observed and by what he thinks, you're right that he doesn't know you and because of that you shouldn't take it to personally. It was harsh but that's his way i guess.

But what I was saying before, if you ain't got nuthin nice to say, whether it be in person or the internet, then don't say it...people have feelings...

I said self respect, not self esteem. Please read carefully before you go getting yoru panties in a knot.

As for being not stepping on anyones toes, frankly life is to short to all that bs. I say whats on my mind, and expect others to do the same. If you dont, thats fine, but dont expect me to be anyone but myself.

As for my comment, it wasnt directed at anyone and its what we call a comment/observation... not a personal attack.

Sorry, but I think he did mean it that way. He made a generalized comment on what he's observed and thinks but directed that towards me. If he wants to think that way, that's fine but don't lump me in in the process. I generally don't care what anyone else thinks of me or what I do, I'm the one who has to live with and by my decisions, not him. I said I have morals, yes, low self esteem, yes, very little to no self respect, yes and that's partly to do with the decisions that I have done in the past that I have regretted doing. Some physical, some mental but that's all I'm going to say about that. Many things can be said about many people as a general rule but don't think for even a minute that EVERYONE applies.

Black, I dont pretend to know you or for that matter judge you. After watching a few girls with no respect, esteem or values get passed around amoungst a group of people I make this comment.

Guys view girls like i described above as nothing more then a good F!ck aka wet hole

Yeah, we call them Door Knobs around here 'cause everyone gets their turn....

You're more than entitled to your opinions but when it's generalized, don't lump everyone into it. I love a good fuck just as much as anyone but that alone in by itself does not make me a whore/wet hole.

Next time you read something I write, please read it a second time before you're emotions take over. If it has your name or reference to you I will make it very clear, otherwise its not directed towards you and the phsyco bable is pure over kill.

Cheers though, no one used the word whore but you....

And what else would you have meant by that??

So, physco babble, huh? There are others, not just myself, that have viewed your opinion as directed towards me.

I think I've made my point. Enough said.

Actually the saying should be more like "if you don't have anything nice to say, you're probably telling the truth". Now...I don't agree with what Rob said in the least...I could show you a few dozen people I've come across in my life that would prove otherwise. That being said, it's his opinion and I honeslty don't think it was directed at any of your girls personally.

I don't think it was a personal attack... maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but WHO CARES... like ya said BlackWolf, this is a damn internet forum, no big deal. Everyone needs to live the way they see best fit with the situation (past and present) that they have to deal with, simple as that. It will differ for everyone...

That said, I need to get laid badly. Maybe this weekend something will happen... staying w/ 4 girls out of town for a music fest (another one)... wish me luck. ;)

^ I think we should lube them up in corn oil and have them wrestle it out... except in place of biker we'll use kool-aid. I mean really, who wants to see biker all corn oiled up?? Now BlackW and Kool-aid.... ;) .... I'd probably even pay to see that.

Yeah if you don't get laid being out of town with 4 ladies then I'm gonna have to dis-own you as someone i really don't know anyways.... Make sure you wear your agent smith suit.

At least get a B-Day hummer!! Someone should be down for that.

I'd have to agree because I'd disown you too! ;)


Now, as far as the hummer goes, will you take a rain check from me?? Good :luck: with the other four girls...........:bow:

^ isn't my b-day coming soon??






Nope.... Damn, not till september.

See the thing is I dont ask you to accept what I'm saying. All I ever ask is that you read it. Sometimes I give really good advice, other times people dont understand me. Dont take what I say so personaly, none of you've I've met and only a few of you I actually could say I know something about.

For me to personally attack someone here I'd need a reason and if you'd read below you'd see the 'no drama' thingy... lifes to short people. I dont personally attack people... only state the things I see, how I see them. Love me or hate me.. just dont ever lie

I had sex with a girl that I should't have and we'll leave it at that.

It has gotten my dick sucked and it has gotten me laid. I don't particularly like fucking my hand every night and I don't have a steady girlfriend so I don't have that going for me either. I'm not looking for the next one to test drive....I've already test driven 18 but I can tell you this, I wouldn't even think about starting a long term relationship with a girl without having sex with her first. That's why divorce and cheating happens (for the most part with several exceptions)....you get into a relationship...the sex sucks...you look for better elsewhere....

I am a VERY sexually driven person and I need a partner to match me or I'm not going to be happy....that's me, that's who I am...and to this date I have not been able to find a female that has been able to keep up with my demand....maybe you or others here have more restraint on your sex drive, I do not.......

Dude.... WTF is that all about? There's really no need to say this bullshit....

if she hadn't said this...you wouldn't have said anything about the wet hole thing. Since you replied to what she had said, whether you were pointing her out or not, she claims to have a minor problem with her self-respect,therefore, you ARE calling her a wet hole.
It's because of men today that women have to go through the emotional battles that we go through from playing those fucked up emotional games that guys like to play...Im not saying every man, but the majority. You know this...so why would you say something like this?
And all of the guys that replied to what he said saying that it wasn't personal, and to not take it personally...why don't you try being a girl and see if you can "not take it personal"...it IS personal....to me at least...and I have no problem with MY self respect.

Whoa whoa whoa...that is just as ignorant and close minded as what Rob said. I could flip that quote on women and say it was true. That is such a horrible way to disown your own feelings. No one can MAKE you feel anything emotionally. You do that on your own. As for emotional games, I think there's enough of that going around to spread it evenly between the sexes. Laying it all on men is just cheap and childish. And just because you used the old "not every guy..." trick doesn't negate the fact that you are, in fact, refering to men in a generaliztion. Blaming your emotional problems on another person or persons is just an easy way out. "I don't have problems...he/she made me feel this way". BULLSHIT. The only way someone can give you emotional baggage is if you let them. You might be thinking "oh, it's not that easy". Yes, it is. We've all been screwed over...that's to be certain. But we all deal with it in our own ways. If you want to feel insecure or self loathing, that's your choice, but don't blame anyone else for it.