Wren57
04-27-2004, 05:47 PM
Well, I'd like to share something with the people that have been following my ex situation with me. She called me and came crawling back Sunday night, saying she was sorry for what she'd done and she was hopeful for the two of us in the future... yeah right. Last night, I come to find out she has fucked this guy a few times down there, and to top it off, she expects me to not make a big deal out of it. Now, for your boredom reading pleasure, our emails. Please someone tell me if I stepped out of line anywhere, as I can't see a single place that I did:
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Subj: a different perspective
Date: 4/27/2004 5:24:07 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Wren57
To: ex
I wish you would understand things from my perspective a bit better so you can understand how I feel. We didn't talk for 3 weeks because I pissed you off with an email, and you pissed me off because you won't come for my birthday. I had an awesome three weeks, I was getting happier every day and progressing forward a lot in everything. Then you call me, and I figure we can at least have good discussions. You start being all nice on the phone, getting nostalgic, talking of us being together again, hinting at seeing me over the summer, etc. So, naturally, I begin to think you have an interest in dating me, and although I'm not really interested in dating/seeing you, it does get my hopes up a bit. This continues for a while until tonight when I find out you've been sleeping with Naren. It really doesn't come as a surprise, as I know you pretty well and guessed you were doing it anyways, so whatever. What gets me is that you have the nerve to call me and flirt with me while you are having sex with someone else. Why even bother? I absolutely refuse to be your backup plan. I am sorry if you aren't getting the emotional support you need from Naren, but I simply can NOT be your emotional support b/f while he fucks you. I am a guy, I think like a guy, and I have feelings as a guy/person. Despite what you said, you are playing me. You have a new sex/love? interest there, so why bother hinting at having one with me? I will not be the person you call to complain about things to, I will not be the person to always support you no matter what; my love is NOT unconditional. I will not be played and treated as second-best so you can have the best of both worlds; it simply doesn't work like that. I'm not typing this to be mean or to say I don't want to talk to you, but what I am saying is that I don't appreciate the way you talk about wanting me and leading me on while you have sex with another guy. I'm also not saying all of this to criticize you in any way, merely to let my feelings out. To me, sex is a BIG deal; it obviously isn't to you. If you want to have sex with him, that is fine with me; I've honestly lost all desire to rekindle anything we had in the past... at least for a while. Although you may not believe I am honest when I say this, but I am glad you are getting what you wanted; sex with Naren. My opinion is that I think you DO want a relationship, and that you feel empty because you are having sex, but no emotional side to it, which is why I think you called me. I'm sorry, but I can not have you lead me on and say you want to get back together with me while at the same time you have sex with someone else. How does that make sense at all? I have a great life here and am meeting some awesome people; I don't want to lose you completely as a friend. When I was asking what you have done, it was because I am interested in what you've been doing, not because I want to criticize you. Like I said, do heroin and gangbang 50 guys... you've hurt me so much with things like this in the past that I'm dull to it now. You are obviously doing your thing there, and I am going to do my thing here. Please do not try to re-enter my life if all you are going to do is use me for emotional support, because while I may be supporting you emotionally, you are crushing me emotionally. That's all I can think of to say right now... goodbye.
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Subj: Re: a different perspective
Date: 4/27/2004 7:28:51 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: ex
To: Wren57
im sorry i called and wasted your time, i see now that even that was a mistake to you as is everythign i do. you obviously have no idea how i'm feeling right now, but oh well. i see now that it's obviously too late for any good to come from us talking or beign friends. have fun with your life, just please dont be hypocritical.... for all you konw you coudl have slept with heather. hypocrisy is a terrible thing to buy into time and time again as an excuse to push me away. i truly am sorry for wasting your time with that phone call the other night. that really was a mistake on my part and a lapse in judgement. dotn worry, i wont bother you again. i'm sorry. 'bye.
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Subj: Re: a different perspective
Date: 4/27/2004 11:40:31 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Wren57
To: ex
Once again you take an honest email where I express my feelings as on oppurtunity to tell me I am stupid and don't understand you or your feelings. If I don't understand, why don't you share them with me so I DO understand? I'm being completely honest and open about my feelings with you, and there is no reason you can't return it. And no, I talked to Heather and we did not have sex... and despite oppurtunities I've had lately, I don't plan on having sex until I am in a relationship with someone, because I'm simply not like that. I don't care if you had sex with Naren or if you are going to continue having sex with him, I just think you need to realize that I can not be here to support you emotionally when you are having sex with someone else. I will not be the emotional side of your relationship while he is the physical side... that is what girls and gay guys are for. I'm certainly not asking you to choose, because I know you wouldn't choose me, but I am asking you to realize you can't flirt with me and fuck him. Please try to put yourself in my shoes, or reverse the situation. If I were having sex with Heather, and you weren't with Naren, would you REALLY want me to call and start flirting with you on the phone? Would you want to be used as an emotional crutch because I was being physically satisfied but not emotionally satisfied? Would you really want me to call you only when I had nothing better to do or when I needed someone to help me get through something? Think about it, please. Once again, I'm not asking you to choose, and I don't care that you are having sex with him; I still don't mind talking to you as friends, just don't say things like "I wish we were together" or "I wish you were here" when you are off fucking some random guy you aren't dating, because that is the definition of playing someone, and I'm done with games.
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I haven't heard back from her on this one yet. I'd like to make my intentions clear to everyone here; I do NOT want to get back together with her, nor do I want to talk to her often. I would, however, like to keep in contact so that after college bullshit we can talk and see if there is anything there then, when we have a chance to be together. I am also somewhat of a control-freak at times and where there is a situation where I know I am correct/right, I don't like giving in or quitting, its just not in my nature. Anyways, I'd just like to know if anyone thought I stepped out of line anywhere with the things I said...;)
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Subj: a different perspective
Date: 4/27/2004 5:24:07 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Wren57
To: ex
I wish you would understand things from my perspective a bit better so you can understand how I feel. We didn't talk for 3 weeks because I pissed you off with an email, and you pissed me off because you won't come for my birthday. I had an awesome three weeks, I was getting happier every day and progressing forward a lot in everything. Then you call me, and I figure we can at least have good discussions. You start being all nice on the phone, getting nostalgic, talking of us being together again, hinting at seeing me over the summer, etc. So, naturally, I begin to think you have an interest in dating me, and although I'm not really interested in dating/seeing you, it does get my hopes up a bit. This continues for a while until tonight when I find out you've been sleeping with Naren. It really doesn't come as a surprise, as I know you pretty well and guessed you were doing it anyways, so whatever. What gets me is that you have the nerve to call me and flirt with me while you are having sex with someone else. Why even bother? I absolutely refuse to be your backup plan. I am sorry if you aren't getting the emotional support you need from Naren, but I simply can NOT be your emotional support b/f while he fucks you. I am a guy, I think like a guy, and I have feelings as a guy/person. Despite what you said, you are playing me. You have a new sex/love? interest there, so why bother hinting at having one with me? I will not be the person you call to complain about things to, I will not be the person to always support you no matter what; my love is NOT unconditional. I will not be played and treated as second-best so you can have the best of both worlds; it simply doesn't work like that. I'm not typing this to be mean or to say I don't want to talk to you, but what I am saying is that I don't appreciate the way you talk about wanting me and leading me on while you have sex with another guy. I'm also not saying all of this to criticize you in any way, merely to let my feelings out. To me, sex is a BIG deal; it obviously isn't to you. If you want to have sex with him, that is fine with me; I've honestly lost all desire to rekindle anything we had in the past... at least for a while. Although you may not believe I am honest when I say this, but I am glad you are getting what you wanted; sex with Naren. My opinion is that I think you DO want a relationship, and that you feel empty because you are having sex, but no emotional side to it, which is why I think you called me. I'm sorry, but I can not have you lead me on and say you want to get back together with me while at the same time you have sex with someone else. How does that make sense at all? I have a great life here and am meeting some awesome people; I don't want to lose you completely as a friend. When I was asking what you have done, it was because I am interested in what you've been doing, not because I want to criticize you. Like I said, do heroin and gangbang 50 guys... you've hurt me so much with things like this in the past that I'm dull to it now. You are obviously doing your thing there, and I am going to do my thing here. Please do not try to re-enter my life if all you are going to do is use me for emotional support, because while I may be supporting you emotionally, you are crushing me emotionally. That's all I can think of to say right now... goodbye.
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Subj: Re: a different perspective
Date: 4/27/2004 7:28:51 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: ex
To: Wren57
im sorry i called and wasted your time, i see now that even that was a mistake to you as is everythign i do. you obviously have no idea how i'm feeling right now, but oh well. i see now that it's obviously too late for any good to come from us talking or beign friends. have fun with your life, just please dont be hypocritical.... for all you konw you coudl have slept with heather. hypocrisy is a terrible thing to buy into time and time again as an excuse to push me away. i truly am sorry for wasting your time with that phone call the other night. that really was a mistake on my part and a lapse in judgement. dotn worry, i wont bother you again. i'm sorry. 'bye.
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Subj: Re: a different perspective
Date: 4/27/2004 11:40:31 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Wren57
To: ex
Once again you take an honest email where I express my feelings as on oppurtunity to tell me I am stupid and don't understand you or your feelings. If I don't understand, why don't you share them with me so I DO understand? I'm being completely honest and open about my feelings with you, and there is no reason you can't return it. And no, I talked to Heather and we did not have sex... and despite oppurtunities I've had lately, I don't plan on having sex until I am in a relationship with someone, because I'm simply not like that. I don't care if you had sex with Naren or if you are going to continue having sex with him, I just think you need to realize that I can not be here to support you emotionally when you are having sex with someone else. I will not be the emotional side of your relationship while he is the physical side... that is what girls and gay guys are for. I'm certainly not asking you to choose, because I know you wouldn't choose me, but I am asking you to realize you can't flirt with me and fuck him. Please try to put yourself in my shoes, or reverse the situation. If I were having sex with Heather, and you weren't with Naren, would you REALLY want me to call and start flirting with you on the phone? Would you want to be used as an emotional crutch because I was being physically satisfied but not emotionally satisfied? Would you really want me to call you only when I had nothing better to do or when I needed someone to help me get through something? Think about it, please. Once again, I'm not asking you to choose, and I don't care that you are having sex with him; I still don't mind talking to you as friends, just don't say things like "I wish we were together" or "I wish you were here" when you are off fucking some random guy you aren't dating, because that is the definition of playing someone, and I'm done with games.
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I haven't heard back from her on this one yet. I'd like to make my intentions clear to everyone here; I do NOT want to get back together with her, nor do I want to talk to her often. I would, however, like to keep in contact so that after college bullshit we can talk and see if there is anything there then, when we have a chance to be together. I am also somewhat of a control-freak at times and where there is a situation where I know I am correct/right, I don't like giving in or quitting, its just not in my nature. Anyways, I'd just like to know if anyone thought I stepped out of line anywhere with the things I said...;)